"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Hmm..Did this date go well?

8ball

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First date..

Sitting at Outback..chatting..extended eye contact..lots of laughs.

Date wraps up..I walk her to her car..said I had a nice time, grab her and kiss her.

1st kiss: Surprised kiss on lips. (half a second)
2nd kiss: She tried to go deeper but in ended. (half a second)
3rd kiss: A peck.

She's smart and picky and wants to go out again. Smart and picky girls I don't know how to handle. What should I do?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Iceberg

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It's your first date. How do you know that she's smart and picky?

Don't stress that stuff. You got a kiss, and she says she'd want to go on date#2. Walk away from it feeling positive, set up date #2, and take it from there.
 

The_411

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Step 1 get number
step 2 go on date
step 3 kiss
step 4 go on date 2
step 5 sex her
step 6 profit

am i missing anything?

Bust her for being smart and picky. I don't mind if a woman is picky if she can handle some ribbing about being picky.
 

Rubirosa

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Restaurants are lousy for first dates.
Being stuffed with food makes one feel bloated and needing to take a dump (Yes, girls crap too).
The mouth does not feel clean (Needs to be flossed/brushed from all that food)...Not good for making out.
Finally, let the girl demonstrate some real interest in you first before you start taking her out for expensive meals.
 

the_stig

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Rubirosa said:
Restaurants are lousy for first dates.
Yep nothing worse than the awkward silence as you both shovel food into your mouths or when it comes time to pay the bill (please tell me you didn't buy her dinner).

With that said, if she returned the kiss, you're probably okay. If she texts you later that night reiterating how much fun she had, you're in like flint. When I have a successful date, they always find a way to contact me afterwards. On the flip side, I've had lots of girls say stuff like "Oh I had a blast, let's hang out again!" only to never hear from them again. Guess you never know until you try for another date.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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8ball

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It wasn't dinner. It was drinks. ;) Anyway, I'm confused...she agreed to a second date but said she wants to move at a "slow pace". (I.e....maybe drinks once a week for now.) I work with this woman but she's in another department. I do see her most everyday though.

I think agreeing to a second date is a good sign...but this once a week, taking it slow stuff ...I don't know.

I 'm seeing two other women right now anyway, but I really want this one.

Thoughts on deciphering this situation? How should I play this? For the past couple of days I've been IM ing her in the morning saying "good morning" and stuff but she never initiates contact with me.

What's the play here?
 

Iceberg

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8ball said:
It wasn't dinner. It was drinks. ;) Anyway, I'm confused...she agreed to a second date but said she wants to move at a "slow pace". (I.e....maybe drinks once a week for now.) I work with this woman but she's in another department. I do see her most everyday though.

I think agreeing to a second date is a good sign...but this once a week, taking it slow stuff ...I don't know.

I 'm seeing two other women right now anyway, but I really want this one.

Thoughts on deciphering this situation? How should I play this? For the past couple of days I've been IM ing her in the morning saying "good morning" and stuff but she never initiates contact with me.

What's the play here?

Why do you need to see her more than once a week? Hell, I only saw my girlfriend of two years 3 times per week.

What I'm wondering is, why does she find the need to tell you to "take it slow" after Date #1? What were you doing/saying that's coming on so damn strong?
 

8ball

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No, I made a joke about getting a room at the holiday inn next door (i'm such a clown)...and then she said that...
 
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