"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

hmm...am I just seeing things? (post may be a little long)

The Comeback Kid

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Before I get into this story, I'll clear up what happened w/ the last girl I talked about in my last two threads. Pretty much, I've just forgot about her and I've gone back to normal. My "game" is back up where it should be, as some hot chicks I know say hey to me in the halls and I do my flirting/chatting/kino thing. All is good.

Anyway, there is one chick in particlular that caught my eye. If you asked me a few weeks ago if this chick liked me, I'd be like :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: . Now, I'm not so sure if it's that much of a pipe dream.

She is in one of my classes (so I'd see her 4/5 days a week due to our rotating schedule) and a couple weeks ago, we began talking. First, she wanted to know if she can join me on the morning announcements (yes, I do them - but I make it entertaining like a show and everyone really listens - I even get critiqued). Unfortunately, she is a Senior like me and the Vice Principal told me only a Junior or Sophomore girl can do them w/ me because I have to teach someone for when I graduate.

After this, in class, we have talked more and more. Usually, a guy friend of hers is with us (I know him - he's cool, and he doesn't like this girl) and another guy that I get along with (he sits next to me). Until today, the only thing her and I really talked about was colleges, since we're applying soon. Today, we were all (the four of us) were just talking about other stuff. I was describing a Freshman girl that I am a Peer Leader for (as a Peer Leader, I get assigned 5-6 Freshman to help them adapt to our high school). Well, one is a huge, fat girl - no offense. So I'm like "yeah, um, she's like a monster. She's like twice the size of, uh, (the girl I'm talking to - I said this cuz she was the only girl around)". Afterwards, she playfully was teasing me about the "moster" statement. We all talked about some other things, had a good time and that was it.

In addition, she was asking me questions about some things with college (for some reason, people think I'm really on top of things lol). We have some good eye contact (she sits behind me, but I turn my chair around) and the playful joking goes both ways.

So should I see where this one leads or am I just destined for doom? I know that I'm 0/7 or something lifetime w/ asking girls out (haven't "asked out" anyone yet this year though), but I feel I have improved quite a bit (some thanks to the DJ forums) and I am more confident. In fact, a couple girls have told me that I am more confident and mature than any other guy at school. Go figure.

What do you guys think about this? I'm more controlled this time around (not exactly attached at all yet, and it's a "new beginning" for me) and this girl seems like a good person - she is not a sl*t and I don't think she really drinks or smokes if at all, but I could always be wrong). Plus, I think I'm getting a dance with her at our Homecoming Dance in a little under two weeks (her guy friend said we were and she didn't oblige). A lot of people just go with friends (as opposed to a date) so they meet other people there, so I'm not so concerned about that.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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kidkoala

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Personally from reading the account I;m sold. I think she likes you, but dude seriously just use your gut, I mean you know, stop thinking about every little thing and use ur instict. Ya btw I;m 0/7 or something too lol. Who cares college is around the bend.
 

The Comeback Kid

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Originally posted by kidkoala
Personally from reading the account I;m sold. I think she likes you, but dude seriously just use your gut, I mean you know, stop thinking about every little thing and use ur instict. Ya btw I;m 0/7 or something too lol. Who cares college is around the bend.
I think what you're saying is right (with just using my gut), but there's a reason that I'm 0/7 or whatever. I've seen signs that could mean a girl likes me at least 4-5 of these times, and when I've asked them out, they've said no.

For the last girl I liked (she went a little crazy but still), I was absolutely sure she liked me and a lot of signs were there. Well, we didn't end up going out. Another time, some girl pulled up to me while I was doing a run (to get ready for track) and when I asked her out, I saw she was about to re-unite with her ex.

So I've seen some pretty good signs before, but none have worked out (for some, I'm happy they didn't work out). I am just a little hesitant on just going right up to her and doing it because I can't guage (sp) if she likes me or not.

BUT, if I can tell that she definately would go out with me, then I'll do it. ;)
 

The Comeback Kid

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BUMP... any more help here is really appreciated.

As I've mentioned before, I cannot tell 100% if she likes me or not. I mean, she has shown some verbal signs, but she's also a friendly person and has some pretty nice looks to boot.

Again, any more help is appreciated.
 

B-Lemond

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Back again Comeback kid?...hehe

I'm sure there are events posted somewhere on the hallways of your school. OR even better, since holloween is just around the corner, there are TONS of haunted houses/haunted hay rides going around. Find these events. Find something fun to do. Then you go in for the kill. As you guys are talking and she starts laughing or when you guys are having fun. Make sure you say it when shes in a positive mood and when she's happy. After her high tell her:

You: Hey, we should hang out sometime.

IF she says: uhh..... (or anything like she's unsure)

You: O noooo not like that, I thought we were just friends. I don't want to ruin OUR FRIENDSHIP.

Her: Ok sure.

I hope you get the jist of what I trying to say. Basically, you tell her you guys should hang out. If she's reluctant pretend like you guys are just friends and that it's just to have a good time. If she just says alright right away (which she will most likely do), take it from there. You could follow with "Hey, I'm going to (insert a FUN event) this weekend, you should come."

Then when she does come make sure you guys have FUN.

Good luck and I hope this help.

On a side note, what colleges are you applying to?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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The Comeback Kid

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Thanks for the advice, I'm going to read it. I either PMed you or E-Mailed you about my colleges right now. ;)
 

The Comeback Kid

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Bluelemond-

The basis of your idea is pretty good. If things start to go downhill, I'll try to make something out of nothing, like the "ooo, I didn't mean it like THAT..." The problem is that my school seems to be very "movie-themed." By this, I mean what you see in the nmovies, that's probably our school. Anytime a guy and a chick go somewhere alone, people label it as a "date."

But anyway, like you said, there has to be some pretty cool and interesting things to do at this time of year lol. I think one thing I need to do is ISOLATE the chick from her guy friend (and the kid I know that sits next to me). When I isolate her, then I'm in control.

I'll see what happens with this - and yes, I'll try to have fun with this one. I appreciate the help.
 

The Comeback Kid

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Just here for a weekend update...

Well, I actually only saw her Friday, since that's when we were in school.

Not much actually happened, although due to some over-analyzing on my part, maybe a clue was presented. At the start of class, she needed help on part of her Spanish HW. She asked her guy friend and me for help. Unfortunately, I knew the answer. Why unfortunately? First, she is in AP Spanish. I was in regular Spanish last year (aced it) but dropped it this year due to scheduling conflicts, so I was surprised I knew hte answer and she didn't. The other reason is that I'm smart, but not really booksmart (top 25% in class) and I don't want people thinking I'm really really smart. You see, I speak very clearly and seem tp resent myself well, so some kids thing I'm really smart and with girls, being considered "really smart" can be a possibe turnoff. I discovered if you act a little clueless, girls find it funny and that helps.

After that, we were all talking (the four of us - me, her and two other guys) and I went to say a word, but there was phlegm in my throat. The word came out a little differently than I anticipated (like I had a Texas accent) and they were quick to jump on it (the girl was imitating me too).

Remember that "screenname vs phone number thread?" At my school, and in my case, it seems getting a screenname is a whole lot easier than getting a phone number. At my school, it seems you have to go ona date with the person to get hteir number. Knowing this, I jsut asked her for her screenname and that was it. Thanks to the bell, I couldn't give her my screenname, but I'm sure it's no big deal. I know a phone number may be better, but getting the screenname (especially when some people are near you and can hear you) was easier and wouldn't raise any suspicion.

Next time I'll see her is Tuesday, since I'm on a college visit from later today through tomorrow.
 

B-Lemond

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Can't write much right now, but DON'T IM her. Like you said everyone uses IM and you don't want to be labeled just like everyone else. Afterall you are DIFFERENT. Maybe send an e-mail saying that you and some friends are going to so and so and that she could tag along.

But the purpose of this e-mail is that you "the comeback kid", you need to start thinking, "how am I different", "what sets me apart from all these other AFCs".

Gotta go. Hope this helps.
 

S-lemond

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Originally posted by bluelemond
Can't write much right now, but DON'T IM her. Like you said everyone uses IM and you don't want to be labeled just like everyone else. Afterall you are DIFFERENT. Maybe send an e-mail saying that you and some friends are going to so and so and that she could tag along.

But the purpose of this e-mail is that you "the comeback kid", you need to start thinking, "how am I different", "what sets me apart from all these other AFCs".

Gotta go. Hope this helps.
well said, this will be a good start
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

The Comeback Kid

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In speaking of IM's...she actually WANTS me to IM her.

Well, here's what happened today:

Everything occured in the one class we share together (of course, I don't have this class tomorrow lol). Once we all got into class and sat down (the girl and a guy friend that I know too sit behind myself and another guy we all know), the girl asked where I was yesterday (college visit). I, trying to use C + F replied "umm, well, I can tell you I definately wasn't in school" with a little smirk. So as the girl starts to guess where I was, her guy friend takes a wild guess that I was on a college visit, so he was right.

After that, me and the guy I sit next to were talking about our IM while I was on my college visit (we don't IM much, but we talked for a little bit via IM the other day). As we're talking the girl says to me "u talked to him online? You shoulda have talked to me online!" - she said this in a good way though, not like she wanted the attention. So, again w/ C + F, I said "so you WANT me to IM you?" and she happily said yes. She wrote out her screenname and wrote me a short note about how to annoy the guy I sit next to online. It was like our little secret for the day cuz the guy kept trying to open it, but I didn't let him.

So that was about it for today. I waited all the way until jsut after 10:00 EST to IM her (I actually was hardly on before that, but still). All I planned on saying was hey, so she can add my screenname into her buddy list. She actually had to go after I said hey (she really did - it's not like she blocked me or anything), but said she will either talk to me later or see me in school tomorrow, so that's cool.

Anything here?
 
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The Comeback Kid

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Maybe it's just more over-analyzing, but does anything I wrote in hte post above mean anything?

Our HC Dance is Saturday. I am not sure if I'll ask her, simply because a lot of people do not come with dates to the HC Dance and instead meet people there.
 
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