"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Hitting on ex-gf's bff...

HankHill

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OK so my ex is a lying, cheating b1tch, we established that in that long intro thread I posted. Her BFF is hot, I always liked her but of course would never act on it since I was with my ex. Now though I'm thinking of texting this bff and saying something like 'hey I always had a thing for you, if you're not seeing anyone (last I knew she wasn't) I'd love to take you out for drinks this weekend'. Chances are she'll either not respond or will say no...and she'll tell the ex. If she tells the ex, so what? in fact, I'm thinking that's even better...the ex will be pissed, great! And if she says no, well I didn't lose anything, in fact, I gained clarity and I put the ball/idea in the Ex-bff's court.

So, should I shouldn't I?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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jaymbrs

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I wouldn't, unless you sense she likes you too. If you do, I would reach out and ask her to hang out. Otherwise you're essentially throwing a hail mary and hoping shes a ****ty friend.
 
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resilient

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Don't show your interest from the getgo by telling her you always had a thing for her. AFCs do that. Be different.

Remember, women like mystery/challenge.

They want to be pulled in and desired by a high status male.

I would reach out, feel out the convo, communicate that you're busy, but would like to catch up. Then try to get her to meet you up for drinks or something fun you already planned to do solo yet decide to let her tag along.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Your backwards rational here is a wall of text all about your ex.

I go through women quicker then I change my underwear. Its not to say, I pull, and empty my balls with all about of them. That's fantasy. What I mean to say, if she's a train wreck, she's gone. Low libido? #nextset!

I hit on baeeee. I take my **** out. Its not about the girl. She could get hit by a ****ing bus. No ****s given. I am too busy crushing it in life, in biz, in the gym, and getting baeeee, going balls deep to attend funeral.

Step your game up kuz. Not doing it right.
 

HankHill

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I wouldn't, unless you sense she likes you too. If you do, I would reach out and ask her to hang out. Otherwise you're essentially throwing a hail mary and hoping shes a ****ty friend.
Don't show your interest from the getgo by telling her you always had a thing for her. AFCs do that. Be different.

Remember, women like mystery/challenge.

They want to be pulled in and desired by a high status male.

I would reach out, feel out the convo, communicate that you're busy, but would like to catch up. Then try to get her to meet you up for drinks or something fun you already planned to do solo yet decide to let her tag along.
I get all that but the prob is she's bffs with the ex, I doubt there will be much back and forth. How do you suggest I reach out to feel out the situation? give me an example.

Your backwards rational here is a wall of text all about your ex.

I go through women quicker then I change my underwear. Its not to say, I pull, and empty my balls with all about of them. That's fantasy. What I mean to say, if she's a train wreck, she's gone. Low libido? #nextset!

I hit on baeeee. I take my **** out. Its not about the girl. She could get hit by a ****ing bus. No ****s given. I am too busy crushing it in life, in biz, in the gym, and getting baeeee, going balls deep to attend funeral.

Step your game up kuz. Not doing it right.
What? translation? lol

I don't know if you read my post above, yes the ex is gone, nexted her but I'm thinking about hitting on her best friend. Yeah part of the motivation is to send the ex a msg that if she can cheat/lie etc I can hit on her best friend and disrespect her too but I really do find her BFF hot and wouldn't mind it. I just know it's a tall order she'll even entertain the offer no matter how I approach it.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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resilient

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Nah man. You're playing games to get back at the ex with her bff. Game new women that aren't associated with your ex. Too much time spent calculating what your next moves with just one woman will be. As @DEEZEDBRAH would say #nextset.
 

Billtx49

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If she’s your EX’s bff, she already knows everything about you by now. You would be getting into a game where the house holds all the cards. Women are not always loyal to men, but a different standard usually exists when it comes to their female friends.
The only chance you would have for sex to happen is if the bff dislikes your Ex or always had a secret thing for you…
Low odds based on hope.
 
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HankHill

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Nah man. You're playing games to get back at the ex with her bff. Game new women that aren't associated with your ex. Too much time spent calculating what your next moves with just one woman will be. As @DEEZEDBRAH would say #nextset.
I know and I am dating other women too...I guess my questions is what do I have to lose?

I dont see what you have to lose. Text her and ask her out for drinks. But, dont tell her you always had a thing for her.
Exactly! yep...may be just a

"hey [name], it's been a while but I'd love to catch up. Are you free to grab a coffee/drinks this weekend?"

If she’s your EX’s bff, she already knows everything about you by now. You would be getting into a game where the house holds all the cards. Women are not always loyal to men, but a different standard usually exists when it comes to their female friends.
The only chance you would have for sex to happen is if the bff dislikes your Ex or always had a secret thing for you…
Low odds based on hope.
Yeah you're absolutely right and like I myself said too chances are extremely slim but what am I losing by doing so? Well, the ex could try to do something similar with my friends but they're all happily married with kids.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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What? translation? lol

I don't know if you read my post above, yes the ex is gone, nexted her but I'm thinking about hitting on her best friend. Yeah part of the motivation is to send the ex a msg that if she can cheat/lie etc I can hit on her best friend and disrespect her too but I really do find her BFF hot and wouldn't mind it. I just know it's a tall order she'll even entertain the offer no matter how I approach it.
She either gets you hard or doesn't.

Go get her. Nothing worth talking about.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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DEEZEDBRAH

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I dont see what you have to lose. Text her and ask her out for drinks. But, dont tell her you always had a thing for her.
+ 1

"I had a crush on you for years" is a misc staple for random skanks from the past.
 
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