$hit Test: "I don't feel like talking this week. Maybe next week."

[Speculator E]

My friend been seeing this girl for a few months.

She's really into him. I'm sure. She would text back a lot of Hahahahah and LOL and at him. And when he text it almost always 5 min tops that she'll reply back. Often it's less then 1 min.

Lately he's been getting busy with work. And last time he talked to her she was really wanting to know how he feels about her. He said he'll called her to talk about it.

But according to him he started getting real busy with work during the week and had no time. His last text to her was three days later:

"I don't feel like talking this week. Maybe next week."

I think he went too far and was being insensitive. To me it sounds like he is blowing her off but he doesn't see it that way. He said that was how he feels and he was just being honest.

Now he say that the girl is ignoring him. Her last text:

He says: blah blah "are you busy?"
Her: (1hr later) I am. Sorry.

Now he's confused but he doesn't understand that he hurt her feeling. Am I right? Or is he right?

To me it seems like she was really waiting for him to call and tell her how he feels. But then out of the blue get this text from him 3 days later.

 

[TheCWord]

If your friend was a SS member, this would be typical. Sometimes guys get caught up in all the talk on here and fail to realize that being a DJ doesn't give you license to be a total **** and never consider that the women you are dating are human and have feelings just like you.

 

[Bokanovsky]

First of all, I'm going to assume that this "friend" is actually you. Second, yes, you went too far. These types of antics work on women who are desperate, clingy, insecure, etc. If a girl has self-respect, she will not put up with being treated this way, especially after she has essentially admitted that she had feelings for you. Put yourself in her shoes. If she told you that she didn't feel like talking to you, how would you interpret it?

Let this be a lesson. Don't get carried away with the PUA sh*t. PUA techniques may work on some girls, in some situations, but they are by no means universal strategies for dealing with women.

 

[LorenzoVonM]

First off, you can say it was you. We have no idea who you are behind the screen name.

Secondly, what $hit test? There is none that I can see

And last time he talked to her she was really wanting to know how he feels about her. He said he'll called her to talk about it.

This is where you blew it. You could have handled it in the moment by being light-hearted and non-serious. She is trying to draw you into a relationship (because you are exhibiting bfriend behaviors, whole other topic) but its not a place you have to go if you don't want. You can care for someone and not have to get in a committed relationship with them.

By putting it off to some later date you made it a serious, defining conversation. You put all this weight on it. You're the leader in the relationship. She took the cue from you. When you blew her off, you became incongruent to your words and actions, thus confusing her.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

You guys pretty much nailed it on here already. I've been questioning this type of scenario as well. I've had girls who were really into me, but I played it too cool. They gave me IOI's and I didn't take the opportunity and so they moved on to someone who did.

It seems counterintuitive from what you learn on this site. When should you go for it? When do you chill and let her keep making the moves?

One of my long term buddies when he was single, he's now married to a certified HB9 who rakes in the dough btw, would tell girls he was at one bar then he'd leave to go to another one. Then they'd show up and text him and he'd just say he's somewhere else, then they'd follow him to that bar...and guess what, he'd be gone by that time. This would go on all night. At the time I'd be like "what the fvck are you doing??" haha. But it always seemed to work. They wouldn't call him out on it either. These would oftentime be girls he'd had met just once. So either he had built up crazy attraction on that one meeting or, by making them constantly chase him, that was what was building the attraction. Either way it worked.

I think it worked for him, because when they did talk or text, he was fun, witty, etc. When I read this "I don't feel like talking this week. Maybe next week."
I thought that was from a girl. It totally sounds like something b1tchy they'd say when they're not interested or trying to play games. It just sounded cold. The ones with options aren't just going to let that slide.

What I'm asking/saying is there seems to be a fine line. Girls can always get pissed at you for one reason or another but that doesn't mean they're still not attracted to you. I've brought girls home from a bar within 15 minutes of meeting them but it's also taken me a year and a half to bang em (see an earlier thread where I explained this one). Outside factors excluded, I guess it just depends on the girl. The quality ones, the ones most of us are striving after, aren't always going to fall for the BS or give it up right away. Sometimes they will of course, but sometimes, there needs to be some work put in. Also, they're usually not the ones to play games themselves, they don't need to. They're still women and do women things but it's on a lesser scale.