hit a wall in relationship... need help!

[The_Unit]

my girlfriend and I have been together 1 month now. we've said the "L word" to each other. We love each other dearly, and not a day goes by without seeing or talking to each other. We are already planning the future together.

I have DJ qualities, but truth is I am no DJ. I'm very dedicated to one woman at a time. I know it causes me a great deal of pain in doing so (and has in the past), but thats the way i am.

I've taken a lot of slack from people who think this has gone way too fast. They might be right, because I no longer know how to proceed! I mean, get the girl, and then what?!

I feel like I've hit a wall here ... pls help ...

 

[Last Man Standing]

Are you sexing her??? I mean, is she horing?? Is your penis, or anyone else's', obstructing any of her orifices???

 

[The_Unit]

It's not about the sex. I seriously love this girl from the bottom of my soul. I can feel it.

we are moving mountains for each other. Everytime I move a mountain for her, she moves two for me. I'm worried that one day, we'll run out of mountains to move, and everything will fall flat ....

and i am racking my brains for romantic ideas, please fire them in my direction if anyone has any good ones!

 

[Last Man Standing]

How old are you????

 

[The_Unit]

i'm 21, and i've had 1 ex from high school in the past that didnt last long

 

[Omni]

If you don't want your relationship to be burned out by Easter, ease off a little and focus more on the parts of your life that are usually neglected during the infatuation phase; your family, friends, hobbies, etc.

 

[The_Unit]

shes a pretty sensitive girl. She would notice the sudden withdrawal of attention ... and feel hurt ... i dont want to hurt her ...

i'm sorry this sounds really AFC but I am no DJ as I said before

 

[Last Man Standing]

You are a 21 y/o and you are in love after talking to a girl for a few hours???? 10 hours, 20 hours?? Don't be a fool!!!!!!!! Quit being so emotional!!!!!!!!!! Love your mother, sister, daughter, wife, and not an one month acquaintance!!!!!!!!!!

 

[The_Unit]

I talk to my girlfriend far more than I talk to any other woman. Even my mom. We love being in each others presence. Sometimes i dont say much, just listen to her talk, but I enjoy every moment with her.

I see sosuave.com gives good advice for single men on getting girls, but has very little on how to keep/maintain relationships.

it seems ALL people care about these days is getting laid >.<

 

[Cremasta]

Stop expecting that you're relationship is going to keep escalating and that you need something new to keep her in love with you.

Don't pull back, just chill out and don't think that every moment has to be exciting and involve moving mountains. Stop seeing her everyday. Call her if you have to, if you want an LTR with this girl, there is nothing wrong with talking to her everyday... just make sure you have other interests that don't necessarily involve her.

Most of all, don't lose touch with your friends, THEY will notice if you haven't spoken to them in weeks. Make time to hang out with them away from your girl, because if this relationship goes pear-shaped, they will be the ones you rely on to get you through it.

 

[Poll]

If you want to keep her forever, just buy a handcuff and lock you two together and then throw away the key.

 

[spider_007]

I feel like I've hit a wall here ... pls help ...

that's kink of what happens when you move too fast....so slow, and you can enjoye it for the next 20-30 years......


the next step you need to do is give her half of your money.

 

[kyphan]

There's tons of info on this site about maintaining a relationship. If you're THAT interested then start doing searches and check the Bible out again, you'll find all the info you are looking for. Read Rollo Tomassi's posts, too.

It's all right there for you.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

You are not in love with her. You are needy. You need her to make you feel good about yourself. I see this scenario all the time. The needy guy who falls in love after 2 hours. Your feelings are based on selfish self-gratification manifested through a woman. You are only gratifying yourself through this woman, not really her. However, the manifestation is so real that you now fool yourself into believing it is the manifestion you love and ignore the latent content.

Your self-esteem is very low. You have little confidence. That is why you "fall in love" so fast. You need self-gratification as soon as possible, because you are just that weak. You then neglect everything that once had meaning to you in order to feed this monster more self-gratification.

However, like most guys affected by this condition, you are likely in a state of denial until "your heart is broken". If you are open to accepting the facts that I state, I will help you. However, if you are still in denial I wish you the best but will have nothing to do with battling that demon. That is for your good friend and enlightened buddy to do for you. I am just a stranger on a forum.

 

[ducaro]

my girlfriend and I have been together 1 month now. we've said the "L word" to each other. We love each other dearly, and not a day goes by without seeing or talking to each other. We are already planning the future together.

I have DJ qualities, but truth is I am no DJ. I'm very dedicated to one woman at a time. I know it causes me a great deal of pain in doing so (and has in the past), but thats the way i am.

I've taken a lot of slack from people who think this has gone way too fast. They might be right, because I no longer know how to proceed! I mean, get the girl, and then what?!

I feel like I've hit a wall here ... pls help ...

i am your mirror image. trust me. i have been in your position twice.. and failed. i would give you some very valuable advice.

continue as you are, but start setting time aside for yourself.. give her less importance from time to time.. let it be roller coaster-ride.. and very importantly... tell yourself this today (let it be so loud that the armed forces are alerted) -

I AM PREPARED FOR ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD. I CAN EVEN LIVE WITHOUT THIS WOMAN.

also tell urself that you will love her only till she loves you. the moment she brings in drama (which WILL happen), treat her like a stranger.

i know you are all soft and silky in your heart with this woman. but my friend, yer just 21.. the world will show you a lot very soon.

take care. :wave:

 

[wayword]

You are not in love with her. You are needy. You need her to make you feel good about yourself. I see this scenario all the time. The needy guy who falls in love after 2 hours. Your feelings are based on selfish self-gratification manifested through a woman. You are only gratifying yourself through this woman, not really her. However, the manifestation is so real that you now fool yourself into believing it is the manifestion you love and ignore the latent content.

Your self-esteem is very low. You have little confidence. That is why you "fall in love" so fast. You need self-gratification as soon as possible, because you are just that weak. You then neglect everything that once had meaning to you in order to feed this monster more self-gratification.

However, like most guys affected by this condition, you are likely in a state of denial until "your heart is broken". If you are open to accepting the facts that I state, I will help you. However, if you are still in denial I wish you the best but will have nothing to do with battling that demon. That is for your good friend and enlightened buddy to do for you. I am just a stranger on a forum.

BINGO.

Remember, the first 2 months of a relationship don't even count cuz it's just a neurotransmitter high. So, when are you gonna hit the wall?

I'd say in about 3-4 months when that high starts wearing off...

 

[The_Unit]

Don't pull back, just chill out and don't think that every moment has to be exciting and involve moving mountains. Stop seeing her everyday. Call her if you have to, if you want an LTR with this girl, there is nothing wrong with talking to her everyday... just make sure you have other interests that don't necessarily involve her.

that is very true. I want her to love me for who I am. and i need to enjoy my own life a little bit more ^^ ... i know things have gone kind of fast recently.

Your self-esteem is very low. You have little confidence. That is why you "fall in love" so fast. You need self-gratification as soon as possible, because you are just that weak. You then neglect everything that once had meaning to you in order to feed this monster more self-gratification.

However, like most guys affected by this condition, you are likely in a state of denial until "your heart is broken". If you are open to accepting the facts that I state, I will help you. However, if you are still in denial I wish you the best but will have nothing to do with battling that demon. That is for your good friend and enlightened buddy to do for you. I am just a stranger on a forum.

I do have good confidence. And I know how "the game" works. Its just after she became my girlfriend, I really have no clue how to proceed. And feeling kind of lost ...

 

[kyphan]

Feeling lost? The "Search" button is only a click away.