"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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History Of Asking Women Out

COD

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Asking a woman out is supposed to be easier as we get older. `Member the good old days when you were a kid in grade school, professing your thoughts of affection to the cute lil red head with ponytails. Your buddy would do a flyby flirt.... "Hey Billy thinks you’re cute" and the girl would get a little embarrassed. Our friends would tease us by singing Billy and Melissa sitting in a tree……….K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

The other method was to send a note (with the options): I like you, A) do like me or B) not like me. Please select one and return to me. I recall sex expert Dr. Ruth Westheimer endorsed an equivalent to this method all the time on her radio show back in the late 80’s. These methods may be interpreted as examples of the "Hawthorne effect": if you indicate your preference for someone, they in turn (theoretically) modify their behavior towards you. Sort of like cause and effect or action/reaction when it comes to fondness.

As we moved from juvenile to adolescence we became a little more outgoing and found a new way to indicate our interest. We would ask if they had a boyfriend and proceed forward only if they were single. God forbid we get rejected, that would be devastating, the world as we know it would end and the rejection experience would be permanently etched in our minds. Those methods were pretty much black & white and provided instant feedback. Moving into adulthood we really cannot rely on note passing or professing our love, so how does one ask a woman out.

Is there a generic rule for asking someone out in their 30's and 40's?. Some men hangout in bars and eventually indicate their interest level. The rejection factor is still a reality, but lot of guys just go for it and could careless if a chic is married or engaged. They inquire as to the woman's status, if she is single rock on, if not move on...."well it was nice meeting you, good-luck".

:cheer: For those people that cannot just walk up to a woman on the fly, they often opted for alternative options. The Internet provides a safe Haven for shy people who lack social skills or confidence. It's like passing on several "DO U LIKE ME" notes simultaneously. Some may be a little more courageous and try Speed dating, which is similar to the Internet 'cept you get to sit across your potential match, live for a short duration. These are still variations of note passing and they also decrease our fear of approaching. So what is the generic rule for asking out a person as an adult. The direct approach scores points when done with confidence and smoothness. Choose your venue, select a target, have some default openers, develop some quick rapport, get the digits then split. Sounds simple enough but takes lots of practice to perfect. An initial step would be to NOT allow any type of rejection affect us what so evah!!!. A man that can do it in the field, at the spur of the moment, spontaneously, has a huge advantage over those “note passing wannabe's”.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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spider_007

Master Don Juan
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COD said:
Asking a woman out is supposed to be easier as we get older. `Member the good old days when you were a kid in grade school, professing your thoughts of affection to the cute lil red head with ponytails. Your buddy would do a flyby flirt.... "Hey Billy thinks you’re cute" and the girl would get a little embarrassed. Our friends would tease us by singing Billy and Melissa sitting in a tree……….K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
I remember back in grade one (in the old country), guys used to run around, grab girls asses:eek: , and the girls would chase them, to try and hit them.

couldn't do it then, can't do it now.
 

ElStud

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Yeah... but then we got hormones and started becoming attracted to them. Now all that stuff is natural, but all the social conditioning in the media and stuff has made most guys become AFCs.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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spider_007 said:
I remember back in grade one (in the old country), guys used to run around, grab girls asses:eek: ,....
Oh I remember those good old days... :D
 

Scought

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Back then things were obvious (asking someone out, telling them you like them) but as everyone gets older the game becomes more implicit(we hint at things, we all know "would you like to grab a drink" is current-day, asking someone out). All the meanwhile understanding that one person has intentions and the other persons goes along to see if they might feel the same way.

I don't really even ask women out anymore. Meaning, I will get a number, and say 'hey, lets get a drink!" which is more of a statement and they say yes, or they say no, and we go from there.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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