First Day in the Field
I could feel the stuff exploding from the base of my skull, running down my spine and out into my body: nervous energy…and I hadn’t even spotted a cute girl yet. Something else registered in my mind as I exited my vehicle and stepped onto the hot pavement. It was the distinct scream of a man; James Brown to be exact, followed by “Get Up Offa That Thing.”
“…the hell?” I said to myself. Yet even as I took my first step towards the mall I was taken by a new sensation, the kind only nervous energy and James Brown could create in this situation…and confidence never felt so good.
Approach 1 - Middle aged HB5.
This lady was at a kiosk checking out some fiery red nail polish. I casually walked by and said, “Excellent color selection,” then held up my hand. She laughed and gave me a high five. We joked about working at such a kiosk for a minute then she checked out and went on her way. I said as she walked away, “I don’t know your name, but I will definitely recognize you by your superb taste in nail polish.” She laughed and said, “I’m Judy” then turned and walked away. She looked back a few feet later and smiled.
Approach 2 - Twentysomething HB 6
I walked into the jewelry store and said to the girl working behind the counter, “Hi, you’re one of my warm-up sets!” She laughed as I introduced myself as Roy in a joking tone and she laughed again. We joked for a while about how hot a name Roy is and how ladies’ men are always named Roy. I told her I needed to go and extended my hand. When she went to shake hands I locked her into thumb wrestling position and…well, let’s just say I owned her.
Approach 3 - Twentysomething HB5
I spotted this girl arranging CD’s for the gift store. I walked up beside her and asked, “Is there something I can help you with?” as if I worked there. (I stole this from somewhere, maybe a David D. interview?) She laughed a little and I took her on a tour of the store and showed her stuff, BS-ing most of it with some funny stuff. At one point I talked about the candles section and opened one for her to smell. When she leaned over to smell it I pulled her back and shouted, “Are you crazy? You never, ever smell stuff like that! You have to waft it towards you with your hand! Didn’t you take high school chemistry?” Then I told her a funny story about a kid in my chemistry class who didn’t waft his solution and wound up getting seriously messed up in class. I told her she seemed interested in all that the store had to offer and that I would put in a good word for her with the manager as soon as I met him.
Approach 4 and 5- Two cute twenty something HB7’s
My sister was in this clothing shop, but when I walked in she was buying lingerie. I held up my hands and said, “Can’t you buy this somewhere else? I don’t need to see this!” The two cute girl behind the counter looked sort of confused. Despite the huge store emblem right behind her, I looked at the clerk and asked, “You don’t know anyone who works at [said department store] do you?” She sort of stuttered in disbelief as I held a straight face and said, “Uh, this IS [said department store].” I exclaimed, “Really? That’s Awesome! I love you guys!” and held up my fist. She gave me the rock and laughed. I looked over and saw the other cutie checking out some jeans. I asked the clerk if I could sell the girl some jeans and she said sure. I walked over to the other girl and pulled a pair of really tacky, rhinestone covered jeans off of the rack. I looked at her and said “I’m not sure what it is about these jeans, but I get twice as many gazes when I’m wearing them.” She laughed and we talked for a while about not understanding women’s sizing and then I bid her fairwell.
My sister met me later and said that the clerk was wanting me to come back to the store ASAP since she figured out that my sister was, well, my sister and not my girlfriend. Nice!…but I don’t have time to go back, my goal is 10 approaches. I’ll catch up with her later.
Approach 6 - Cute redheaded HB 7
I busted on this girl so much because I would call out a random gemstone that I wanted to see in the jewelry store in which she worked…and she couldn’t find it! Then we talked about going to school and joked around for a while.
Approach 7 & 8 - Two punk girls HB 5 & 6
Walked in and asked these girls whether they thought Roy was a sexy name and if there was such a thing as a redneck-punk, as they were working in a punk-style store. We talked for a while, though I couldn’t understand the girl with 8 lip piercings.
Approach 9 - Twentysomething HB 7.5
This girl was playing solitaire at a phone kiosk. I walked up and realized I knew her vaguely from somewhere. I said, "It's okay, it's just me, you don't have to minimize the porn and pretend to play solitaire." She started laughing and said, "Oh, well that's good, but it's just so boring around here." Big tip to me, but I was too busy trying to figure out where I knew her from. Then it hit me-the gym! So we joked around about a few good times at the gym and then bumped knuckles and I went on my way.
Approach 10 - Later twenties HB 6
She was checking out some Twinkies. I said, "Go with the oatmeal cookies!" She said, "But I like Twinkies." And for the first time that evening my mind blanked.
I was satisfied with all the positive responses I had gotten. My friend scolded me for not number closing anyone. I guess number closing would be the next step...
My next outing is going to be awesome.
Questions for myself:
- What is it about me that attracts so many older (40's) women and so few women my age (21)?
Questions to DJ's
- Has an altered approach helped your game? Meaning, if you are James Bond serious and smooth, have you tried, and what were your experiences with acting very extroverted and animated? Or, perhaps a better example, Stiffler acting more like the guy who does Stiffler's mom on American Pie, or vice versa. I know there is an incongruence here, but has anyone noticed a difference in the types of women they attract in either frame?
