Highbrow humor at lowbrow profiles (or just plain 100% lowbrow)

[Black Widow Void]

My best friend is married (though not happily) and sometimes seems a bit envious of my single lifestyle.
Many years ago (back when I did the personals) I made this "review" of some actual profiles to lighten his day (his wife is far better looking). I was going through an old hard drive and found this.
Before submitting to this forum, I blurred out any personal details of these 'candidates.' It wouldn't matter.... because as hot as they all are, I'm sure that they are all now married and snatched away.

 

[Serenity]

Oof, I need to go wash my eyes now. Did it make your friend any happier?

 

[RickTheToad]

My best friend is married (though not happily) and sometimes seems a bit envious of my single lifestyle.
Many years ago (back when I did the personals) I made this "review" of some actual profiles to lighten his day (his wife is far better looking). I was going through an old hard drive and found this.
Before submitting to this forum, I blurred out any personal details of these 'candidates.' It wouldn't matter.... because as hot as they all are, I'm sure that they are all now married and snatched away. View attachment 7233

What's the point with these? Why is your friend not happy with the married life?

 

[Robert28]

And the sad reality is they probably have more sex thrown their way than any guy on here can ever hope to have.

 

[Grounded eagle]

My best friend is married (though not happily) and sometimes seems a bit envious of my single lifestyle.
Many years ago (back when I did the personals) I made this "review" of some actual profiles to lighten his day (his wife is far better looking). I was going through an old hard drive and found this.
Before submitting to this forum, I blurred out any personal details of these 'candidates.' It wouldn't matter.... because as hot as they all are, I'm sure that they are all now married and snatched away. View attachment 7233

When I imagine what OLD must be like,this is precisely what I imagine lol

 

[Black Widow Void]

Oof, I need to go wash my eyes now. Did it make your friend any happier?

He got a good laugh out of it. I'm not sure if it made him happier, but I'm hoping it made him feel less miserable.

What's the point with these? Why is your friend not happy with the married life?

My friend grew up in a poor family and through dedication and hard work, he is now worth over a million. He wanted to provide for his wife --- the things which he lacked growing up. Unfortunately, he created a smug monster. Against his better intentions, he spoiled her. He will not divorce her because they have children (all three are honor students) . He doesn't trust her to have custody (or any other man that would enter these children's lives). Once they are off in college, he'll give her the walking papers.

And the sad reality is they probably have more sex thrown their way than any guy on here can ever hope to have.

I actually did fool around with the English professor (met her before she went on line). She's a casebook example of the typical women on line (way too much baggage and plenty of issues)

When I imagine what OLD must be like,this is precisely what I imagine lol

Funny thing. Prior to 2010, you could actually meet some decent women on line. After about 2010, these were few and far between. I haven't been on line in years. It seemed like each year, it became worse and worse.