Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

High testosterone attracts femininity

SmoothSmooth

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Talk low and slow
Always seem like you are putting in less effort that her (a king expends little energy)
Don’t reveal much about your life. If you’re asked about something that COULD be an opportunity for you to brag or reveal something personal ‘that’s a convo for another time’
Move slow
Never seek her approval - don’t try to be funny, don’t brag, don’t reveal anything if she’s doesn’t ask directly, don’t virtue signal

Talk about things, not people. Concepts not emotions. keep the conversation in a masculine frame: it gets her wet. Talking about herself and her life doesn’t get her wet (although you shouldn’t neglect this, as it builds trust, but you aren’t there to hide your masculine interests)

Stay on the right side of the law but take a risk on the date. Maybe you trespass somewhere you shouldn’t. Or get kinda sexual in a park at night. Or you’re a bit of a smart ass with the Uber driver who is driving you around. Or in the middle of the date you complete spontaneously change plans into something more exciting. Doesn’t have to be a big thing (don’t do anything that could have a negative consequence on your life - an alpha wouldn’t do that for some *****)…but some kind of low-key risky/smart ass behaviour will get her wet …it could even just be putting out her ciggarette without her permission or even making her buy you a drink or revving your engine (a true master Don Juan knows how to come across as a big badass whilst still staying on the right side of the law and other people)

Don’t smile too much.
Be bored at periods.
Allow periods of silence, make her break the silence.
Eye contact then look around at something more interesting than her
Never ever verbally put down another man to her - especially if she brings him up. this comes across as an attempt to disqualify someone you are afraid she might be attracted to.
Laugh off/ignore any criticism or problems.

Be harder to impress with trivial matters and always deep dive than accept face value.
She’s really into animals? Change ‘That’s really cool’ to ‘that’s kinda cool, as long as it’s not an overcompensation for a bad social life’.
She’s studying law - Change ‘that’s so good, you must be really smart’ to ‘that’s a solid choice, why law?’
She cold reads something about your personality - change ‘How did you know’ to ‘I guess you’re right’…you get the drift

don’t over do it. Just reserve your full validation for her values/accomplishments that really impress you eg she was looking after a sick friends for weeks ‘ah that’s a seriously good job’. You become more like a leader/coach figure than a supportive friend. The coach has more testosterone than a cheerleader.

try to to only a few topics on each date. This is more masculine that jumping around from topic to topic.

Finishing touches:
Black clothing, designer brands
Leather jacket, nice watch
Some kind of jewellery or a ring or necklace, but not so much that it’s feminine
Always goes down well

No kissing until she gives an IOI (eg putting on lip balm)
She texts first after the first date or no follow up
Verbalise sex before physical touching
Split the first date
Dont take any pictures of her or with her, unless she pulls out a camera and tries to take a picture with you.

Text game:
Text using the least amount of words possible to convey both coolness and wit. Reword your messages to be as short as possible but still make as much sense. Don’t use big/impressive words often, but use them sparingly so they stand out. If she isn’t biting after a few messages, move on. Never ever double text unless she has given you a serious IOI in the convo already. Never sext if you haven’t had sex yet. Don’t ask for nudes. Don’t make texting about flirting, but flirting is used as lubricant to keep it smooth before you set logistics. Never talk about yourself over text (unless absolutely necessary or directly asked). It’s ok to disappear and reappear. There is no time pressure in an alphas world (‘strike while the iron is hot’ is complete BS). Rescheduling the date and flaking on her is an alpha boss move. You have more time than she has options.
‘Mute’ her notifications so you aren’t inclined to reply as soon as she messages, but only when/if you open the app.

Side note - the biggest alpha tell is if a girl has driven hours to see you for the first date, or pays for the whole tab. If you’ve never had this, don’t bother criticising my methods.
 
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Glassguy

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Text game:
Text using the least amount of words possible to convey both coolness and wit. Reword your messages to be as short as possible but still make as much sense. Don’t use big/impressive words often, but use them sparingly so they stand out. If she isn’t biting after a few messages, move on. Never ever double text unless she has given you a serious IOI in the convo already. Never sext if you haven’t had sex yet. Don’t ask for nudes. Don’t make texting about flirting, but flirting is used as lubricant to keep it smooth before you set logistics. Never talk about yourself over text (unless absolutely necessary or directly asked). It’s ok to disappear and reappear. There is no time pressure in an alphas world (‘strike while the iron is hot’ is complete BS). Rescheduling the date and flaking on her is an alpha boss move. You have more time than she has options.
‘Mute’ her notifications so you aren’t inclined to reply as soon as she messages, but only when/if you open the app.
Good stuff.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Again, relying on illusions to reinforce your masculinity is not good, have a purpose behind your actions, this is the time of dispelling and quantifying the magic of masculinity, the illusions will be felt upon and when they are, they will dissolve, do not rely on illusion, but sheer experience.

Sure, fake it till you make it but understand Faking it isn't making it.
 

SmoothSmooth

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Again, relying on illusions to reinforce your masculinity is not good, have a purpose behind your actions, this is the time of dispelling and quantifying the magic of masculinity, the illusions will be felt upon and when they are, they will dissolve, do not rely on illusion, but sheer experience.

Sure, fake it till you make it but understand Faking it isn't making it.
Girls don’t rely on illusions to seduce us? Make-up? Filters? ‘Heyyy I can’t make it tonight, my cat is sick’? Hair dye? Nail paint? Etc etc

Seduction is a dance. In the early stages both parties are going to use masks to an extent. As long as you have the high value to back it up (good personality, good career/direction, good social skills etc) then nothing wrong with playing the game at the start

FYI research has shown that ‘faking’ high testosterone behaviour actually leads to higher testosterone levels. For example dominant body language will increase circulating testosterone in your blood
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Girls don’t rely on illusions to seduce us? Make-up? Filters? ‘Heyyy I can’t make it tonight, my cat is sick’? Hair dye? Nail paint? Etc etc

Seduction is a dance. In the early stages both parties are going to use masks to an extent. As long as you have the high value to back it up (good personality, good career/direction, good social skills etc) then nothing wrong with playing the game at the start

FYI research has shown that ‘faking’ high testosterone behaviour actually leads to higher testosterone levels. For example dominant body language will increase circulating testosterone in your blood
And you can be as fake high testosterone as you want, the second you are actually tested by another man all that is going to fall a part, you have to be experienced in being tested, seduction might be a dance but a dance is still a singular event, attraction is created but also lost and dispelled, one victory will not see you through the war, especially when the war never ends.
 

ananas

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are you an incel ? When is the last time you chatted with a woman IRL ?
Seems like you're creating a whole parallel universe in your head...
 

Who Dares Win

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Holy fvck thats more work than a real job...

Guess I'll stick to doing what I want to do.
 

RangerMIke

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No problem with what the OP posted but it's really not that complicated.

Plan things you want to do... have fun.... don't try to impress her.

The minute you stop being a little selfish and start caring about what she wants is when you start losing her. So if you are dressing and behaving is such a way that you are not comfortable with you are doing things in an effort to impress her. I think I've said this a thousand times and will say it again. WOMEN ARE NOT FVCKING STUPID. If you are putting on a act, she will know this unless she is VERY young or very drunk.

Women want men that are who they are and then she can figure out if she wants to go along: women do not want men that are pretending to be something they are not because they know you can't keep it up.

This sort of thing works for the OP because this is how he is... it is not going to work for someone that isn't. I do believe you can fake it until you make it, but it's a LOOOOOG process, you aren't going to get this with coaching alone. You have to BECOME this person.. that takes practice, a lot of practice... it also means you are going to have to abandon your friends because they are not going to like that you have turned into something else.
 

SmoothSmooth

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In a society which encourages men to behave in unattractive ways this info has been the single biggest thing which transformed my dating life.

You do need to BE high T too —things like pheromones, ambition, natural stoicness, high self esteem can’t be faked

Being the smooth, suave guy is a worthwhile ambition…it is not a ‘chore’ it’s actually fun…you feel like a rockstar and get the girl, so it’s win win.
If you are naturally type A/ a winner…then you may have been conditioned by society to act less masculine, however aiming towards this new target would NOT be ‘faking it’, just reconditioning yourself to behave like the type A winner you are. you may find that acting high status/masculine eventually feels much more natural and rewarding.

Acting more playful or beta etc may be fun in the moment or seem more natural…but the consequences are getting stood up, rejected, disrespected etc so the net effect is worse off

It is true your friends will not like it. In fact, most men won’t. So around men it’s always best to act more beta/nice/funny if you want to make friends. No guy likes feeling dominated and it doesn’t make for a productive interaction. A true social master can wear many masks yet remain true to his core self and values/morals in all scenarios…at the end of the day this is about social mastery. Being popular and getting girls is just a byproduct
 

ananas

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Talk low and slow
this is transgender-level sh¡t.
just like all the rest of your post.

You'd need a constant extreme effort to maintain such an extreme change of your personality, plus an extreme and steady motivation to do so, and you'd still look un-natural doing so...
And even if you could, I doubt that it'd work, it sounds soooo caricatural it's ridiculous...
 
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SmoothSmooth

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Attractive girls up-play their femininity by getting lip fillers, wearing feminine clothing with flowers on it, getting nails painted bright colours, wearing make up (eg blushing their cheeks), making their voices sound higher pitched/more feminine, batting their eyelids, putting butterfly emojis in their Instagram bios, typing ‘heyyy’ instead of ‘hey’ and moving around in a graceful manner
And you fall head over heels for them

but if a guy does the same for his masculinity; which has the same effect for women, you consider it ‘transgender level stuff’ or unnatural? That’s cool, I’ll let you figure it out
 

ananas

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putting make-up and painting nails is a 10 minutes "effort" in the morning.
changing your personality to such a degree is a constant 24/7 effort.
 

SmoothSmooth

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putting make-up and painting nails is a 10 minutes "effort" in the morning.
changing your personality to such a degree is a constant 24/7 effort.
No, it becomes second hand after a little while.
My voice went from high pitched to ‘sexy’ in a month or so.

Also, girls put in a lifelong effort to mould themselves to become more desirable. That sweet little feminine angel you meet on the first date isn’t the real person.
 

SmoothSmooth

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putting make-up and painting nails is a 10 minutes "effort" in the morning.
changing your personality to such a degree is a constant 24/7 effort.
Eh…girls spend a lot more than 10 mins getting ready in the morning…more like 30mins-2hours depending on the occasion
You sure you’re not the incel?
 

Willie Naylor

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I'm reminded of one of my favorite quotes -

It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you are not.
- Andre Gide

So many people live their lives afraid to be themselves. We desperately try to conform ourselves into what we think will get us accepted by the people we want to impress.

Interested to hear @Modern Man Advice's take on being authentic and true to yourself.
 

SmoothSmooth

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I'm reminded of one of my favorite quotes -

It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you are not. - Andre Gide

So many people live their lives afraid to be themselves. We desperately try to conform ourselves into what we think will get us accepted by the people we want to impress.

Interested to hear @Modern Man Advice's take on being authentic and true to yourself.
life is not about being yourself
It’s about building/creating yourself
‘Your true self’ isn’t even true, it’s a result of the society time and age you were born in and raised by.
Your mannerism, vocal tonality and social behaviours come from your city, era, family etc
If you just go with what’s natural, you are building your foundation on complete randomness and chance

‘my self’ is an adaptable not fixed thing.
Only my beliefs and morals are fixed, because they arise from the logical realm.

I built myself into a professionally and romantically successful male. And I build daily. As do all alphas and successful personalities.

None of my high school friends are the same 10 years later. Some have done a complete 180 change. The ex bully/gangster is now a professional tutor. The class clown is now a high school teacher. The former nerd is now an arrogant prick.
the ones that have remained exactly the same…well those are the ones who I guarantee are at the bottom of the totem pole. Imagine not changing since high school?

in the late 1990s jayz stabbed a man in a club. By the late 2000s jayz was doing interviews with Warren Buffett. Go figure who is the real jayz? Go look up videos of tupac before and after the fame

people will spend years of their life in the gym
But spending equal time on re-changing your behaviour and mannerisms is considered weird, even thought it yields MUCH higher returns than being jacked, and requires less upkeep/maintenance once you’ve acquired the desired traits

ever heard of media training? Your favourite role models and actors, including Dicaprio, Dwayne Jonson, Arnold, etc all undergo hours and hours of it
 
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Modern Man Advice

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I'm reminded of one of my favorite quotes -

It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you are not. - Andre Gide

So many people live their lives afraid to be themselves. We desperately try to conform ourselves into what we think will get us accepted by the people we want to impress.

Interested to hear @Modern Man Advice's take on being authentic and true to yourself.
I read this thread earlier but wasn't planning on commenting as @RangerMIke pretty much said what I would have said.

I do agree both with the quote you shared and also with what @SmoothSmooth replied. So let's break this down...

Being authentic is directly related to your present. Meaning your actions, words, and belief system is based on your current reality and how you perceive it. I've said this multiple times here, anyone that comes into your life is a complement of that reality aka your current self. In terms of dating, what this looks like is attracting and inviting women that simply complement how YOU live YOUR life. She is part of what you do and what you are regardless of her presence. She compliments that with her OWN reality, which makes "being authentic" so critical in genuinely connecting with someone. Two human beings that are living on the same wavelength. Anything outside of that is forced, and ultimately unsustainable. The moment you feel the need to impress or convince, you are in a losing proposition. You are effectively wasting your energy, masculine energy, and time.

Furthermore, the concept of I am is highly fluid. I've briefly mentioned this concept on this forum but not in-depth. "I am" is and should be a fluid concept. While there are certain aspects of "who you are" that consistently flow throughout your lifespan, what makes us "us" is based on a current reality you are perceiving. Without getting super philosophical, what this means is that our journey here is to be shapeless like water, to surrender, and ultimately grow. So we must constantly contract and expand the concept of "I am".

Hope this helps and happy to expand this further as it relates to the OP but RangerMIke said what it needed to be said.


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