High specs but zero matches - Dating Apps

[Bigpapa]

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i don’t really know anyone as a guy that has 1 in 2 or 1 in 4 match rate with above average girls

if take into consideration the cave trolls then yeah, you might get to 1 in 5 . Maybe higher

as the cave trolls are the ones active , while above average girls not really

sounds like cope stats

 

[Arete]

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I'm surprised the top 5% get even 20% matches.

Honestly, I don't like your doomer mindset. I also dislike Cheeky_James mumbo jumbo and BaronOfHairs trash talking. Somehow, it's increasingly demoralizing to write about a topic that I'm still on the absolute starting line. Online and the real world are the same in this regard. I surely won't do this again.


Want to know how I read this graph?

"Wow, the top 5% get 20% matches. This is surprisingly doable."

I don't care if this statistic is a cope or not. This is easy with some effort.

 

[Bigpapa]

"Wow, the top 5% get 20% matches. This is surprisingly doable."

na man, one thing is getting a like and a totally different thing is to get a match

likes are easy ( and this is the stats used when doing the analysis that top 5% get 20% of all the likes etc ) and usually comes from the 5s and bellow. Most of the likes I get are from really low level women

but most likes a guy receives are from bellow average girls which makes them kinda useless, no matter how many of them you get

rarely I get likes from above average girls, and the matches I get are usually delayed 1-2 weeks ( sometimes more )

This comes from a big mismatch in terms of activity between men and women, and especially between men and at least average girls

if you look at the stats, you would see that the vast majority of women do not really go to any dates, which means that top guys profiles gets attention from profiles they do not want to

 

[Gamisch]

Didnt expect to get so many replys.



You mean like, I'm not swiping enough? I'm new to social media in general, let alone dating apps. I don't really understand.



I did not write this in the bio. The "in a nutshell" was just an exaggerated enumeration. Aparently nativ speakers dont use that? Noted.



I did NOT write this in the bio. It was a oversimplification. I have this much sense. It was the impression I was trying to go for. Obviously, it didn't work, otherwise I would have matches. I feel like Plinco's suggestion is correct. A high-value man wouldn't write so much about himself, the mistake lies in adding too much detail.

On the other hand, your replay speaks volumes of you. Instead of recommending solutions, you just bashed my post. I never understand why people do this. Neither online nor in real life.

It's the difference between criticism and yapping.



Figures ... Not sure how I should phrase it. Half my income is from renting out real estate. My regular job is kind of lame. Can't exactly call myself a "businessman"? Most importantly, I got almost no formal education. But I'm doing alright financially. It's hard to convey that I'm not a bum but also not loaded with cash.



Even paying for these apps? Not like I mind, I am even considering getting a nice suit like Plinco recommended. I heard paying for apps is counterproductive because algorithms don't want paying customers to leave? Does anyone have an opinion on that?



I understand this.

I'm currently still doing the DJ bootcamp. I recently had a small breakthrough after stagnating for a long time which I will post soon. I figured I should stop holding back and use everything at my disposal. Dating apps are supplementary in my mind, just like you say.

I have the same opinion as you, word for word. Im also already aware of the monopoly on dating apps. But usually, if one is determined enough, there is always something to be done? Seems like a waste to give up this angle.



Understood. Even for me, my own profile looks kind of cold and suspicious after a second look.

I definitely need to "Add warmth, authenticity, effort, social proof, relatability, emotional safety," like you said.

I got most of it, but I'm currently conveying none of it. In short, it boils down to my pictures? Meaning the most straightforward solution would be to go to a professional photographer?



Noted. I figured having a contrasting trait would be good for authenticity, but probably not. On a second look, it reads like a load of made-up bullsh!t. This stuff is better told in person ... if at all?

I like your grown man way of responding. Something a LOT of men can learn from.

And to allude to my previous post; let me take myself as an example. Im an etniciteit guy living in a small town in Europe. All I do is working on my bizz. I got some new clientele, and thats all I ever prayed for.

I dont have the time nor the willingness to adjust details, rearrange pictures, get professional photos, fake social settings , AI myself in and on fancy backgrounds just to attract and "convince " some low quality women.

Because let's be real; even IF I would match it will be scarred women with bigbags full of trauma. I know that. So the best advice I've given myself was to get away from the apps as a primary resource for p00sy. Its an ugly truth , but facts don't care about feelz. And thats why I will always give another man tge same advice; ditch OLD ( temporarily) if you find no success on it ( whatever you define as success)

The way I view myself is WAY above the entire humiliation ritual thats tied to somehow " adjusting " an OLD profile so it appeals to broken women.

 

[Gamisch]

I like your grown man way of responding. Something a LOT of men can learn from.

And to allude to my previous post; let me take myself as an example. Im an etniciteit guy living in a small town in Europe. All I do is working on my bizz. I got some new clientele, and thats all I ever prayed for.

I dont have the time nor the willingness to adjust details, rearrange pictures, get professional photos, fake social settings , AI myself in and on fancy backgrounds just to attract and "convince " some low quality women.

Because let's be real; even IF I would match it will be scarred women with bigbags full of trauma. I know that. So the best advice I've given myself was to get away from the apps as a primary resource for p00sy. Its an ugly truth , but facts don't care about feelz. And thats why I will always give another man tge same advice; ditch OLD ( temporarily) if you find no success on it ( whatever you define as success)

The way I view myself is WAY above the entire humiliation ritual thats tied to somehow " adjusting " an OLD profile so it appeals to broken women.

I also find it funny how some men will say "just do xyz bro".

If ANY man has a simple answer how any other man cab be successful on OLD, match.com will send a hitman his way immediately.

Because they are a business. Their primary goal is to extract money from you. The moment you are successful you will either get off the app because you found someone, or you'll have no incentive to pay for more features because free you get plenty.

Match.com obviously is close to the gambling industry who coincidentally happens to pop nowadays. The casino effect imo is something like ; let 10 play and let 2 win . Those 2 will advocate for how great gambling is..same with the apps. A couple succes stories and boom, 2 guys who win can convince 8 losers they can also win if they just do xyz (like they did) .

 

[Bigpapa]

Because let's be real; even IF I would match it will be scarred women with bigbags full of trauma. I know that. So the best advice I've given myself was to get away from the apps as a primary resource for p00sy. Its an ugly truth , but facts don't care about feelz. And thats why I will always give another man tge same advice; ditch OLD ( temporarily) if you find no success on it ( whatever you define as success)

yes, very true about a good proportion of women whom are on dating apps

also very good advice about not relying too much on dating apps to talk with women

dating apps are a good addition, as some times you might match with actually interesting women, but it is a bad bet to rely extensively on it

About my experience on old so far, in the last 2-3 years I do not think I met any sane woman from the apps

all of them were broken one way or the other. Some would not come to a date, no matter the vibe being super nice. Some would just ghost me after really amazing dates / having sex, some would be just drama queens and I would ghost them after a while

most girls from dating apps from my experience are avoidants or just looking for attention

 

[Identikit_Radiohead]

i don’t really know anyone as a guy that has 1 in 2 or 1 in 4 match rate with above average girls

if take into consideration the cave trolls then yeah, you might get to 1 in 5 . Maybe higher

as the cave trolls are the ones active , while above average girls not really

sounds like cope stats

Well, more than 2 flavors of ice cream exist, I mean women. We don't have 1/10 obese Cave trolls and 8/10 Supermodels.

What about the Slim Average looking women who are "5/10". ????

 

[Bigpapa]

What about the Slim Average looking women who are "5/10". ????

not my cup of tea, but usually from what I have seen most women are either bellow 5 or above average . It is not a normal distribution where most women are around 5 like it is the case with height for example

 

[Arete]

I like your grown man way of responding. Something a LOT of men can learn from.

And to allude to my previous post; let me take myself as an example. Im an etniciteit guy living in a small town in Europe. All I do is working on my bizz. I got some new clientele, and thats all I ever prayed for.

I dont have the time nor the willingness to adjust details, rearrange pictures, get professional photos, fake social settings , AI myself in and on fancy backgrounds just to attract and "convince " some low quality women.

Because let's be real; even IF I would match it will be scarred women with bigbags full of trauma. I know that. So the best advice I've given myself was to get away from the apps as a primary resource for p00sy. Its an ugly truth , but facts don't care about feelz. And thats why I will always give another man tge same advice; ditch OLD ( temporarily) if you find no success on it ( whatever you define as success)

The way I view myself is WAY above the entire humiliation ritual thats tied to somehow " adjusting " an OLD profile so it appeals to broken women.

Thanks for the reply. I will do just that. It seems like I nearly got sidetracked unnecessarily.

I also find it funny how some men will say "just do xyz bro".

If ANY man has a simple answer how any other man cab be successful on OLD, match.com will send a hitman his way immediately.

Because they are a business. Their primary goal is to extract money from you. The moment you are successful you will either get off the app because you found someone, or you'll have no incentive to pay for more features because free you get plenty.

Match.com obviously is close to the gambling industry who coincidentally happens to pop nowadays. The casino effect imo is something like ; let 10 play and let 2 win . Those 2 will advocate for how great gambling is..same with the apps. A couple succes stories and boom, 2 guys who win can convince 8 losers they can also win if they just do xyz (like they did) .

Thinking about it again, dating apps are a variable that can't be controlled. Completely agree.

Real life approaches are the polar opposite. It makes sense to invest in something that can't be taken away. Time and energy are limited.

 

[Identikit_Radiohead]

not my cup of tea, but usually from what I have seen most women are either bellow 5 or above average . It is not a normal distribution where most women are around 5 like it is the case with height for example

Sounds like you rate healthy weight women with average faces as 7+. An overrate basically or "hoeflation".

I rate them as 5's.
This is a 5/10 to me, maybe 6 in makeup.

But in any event, women like her (5's to 6's) are only matching with top 5% guys on apps, guys who are 8+/10 in looks. So your chances as a 5-6 guy of wanting a woman like her are ultimately gonna be kaput/shot. Effectively, dating apps "push" healthy weight/fit average men to date down, to dumpster dive to 2's and 3's (fat/obese women). That's why they make you cough up $40 a month for boosts, of which you would be stupid to pay for; they thrive off male desperation.

 

[Bigpapa]

Sounds like you rate healthy weight women with average faces as 7+. An overrate basically or "hoeflation".

I rate them as 5's.
This is a 5/10 to me, maybe 6 in makeup.

But in any event, women like her (5's to 6's) are only matching with top 5% guys on apps, guys who are 8+/10 in looks. So your chances as a 5-6 guy of wanting a woman like her are ultimately gonna be kaput/shot. Effectively, dating apps "push" healthy weight/fit average men to date down, to dumpster dive to 2's and 3's (fat/obese women). That's why they make you cough up $40 a month for boosts, of which you would be stupid to pay for; they thrive off male desperation.

Well, this girl that you rate as a 5 with makeup is a 7

And you usually see them either on apps with the good pictures and angle or outside nicely dressed

In Europe most girls put makeup on when going out, so you rarely see 5s even if in reality she might be a 5

 

[Identikit_Radiohead]

Well, this girl that you rate as a 5 with makeup is a 7

And you usually see them either on apps with the good pictures and angle or outside nicely dressed

In Europe most girls put makeup on when going out, so you rarely see 5s even if in reality she might be a 5

Too much of an overrate. She's a 6 with makeup.

7's are literally like Rebecca Ferguson in her prime.