BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2015
- Messages
- 4,662
- Reaction score
- 6,530
- Age
- 55
First of all thanks to each of you for your thoughts. This situation came up and I thought wait! I know a bunch of people who can be enormously helpful on this issue! You guys!
For those that are curious my son attends a military academy much like President Trump did. He expects to go to college at one of the military academies (West Point, Naval Academy, Air Force, etc.) and he is diligently focused on that, making great grades, playing varsity sports, sits first chair in the band, leadership roles, and he is very good with people. He has a natural gift in that way. He is a natural leader and many of the upper class young men gravitate to him and respect him. He is well liked and the other young men listen when he speaks. The teachers and administration compliment his maturity and behavior all the time. So he's disciplined and on the right track in that way.
But it is also very important that he learns to be his own man and deeply respect himself. Its my and his dad's job to give him training wheels and guidance but also to allow him space to grow and fail. As @sazc and others have pointed out he should not tolerate disrespectful behavior from others. I see my role as a parent to include guiding him (not dictating to him) in regards to the type of behavior he would do well to encourage, and that which he would do well to avoid. But I also believe my son must be the one to decide what course of action to take and then live with the natural consequences of that decision. So I'm going to offer guidance and stay out of it. This is his dad's view as well.
Last evening I spoke to him after his game and I told him I did not like the way this girl is putting demands on him, and that I think her behavior is sh!tty and disrespectful. I reminded him not to let anyone else manipulate him (because that is what she is trying to do) and I also reminded him that some of the girls may brag among their friends about events like this and then try to act like demanding princesses because these boys are seen as "rich" boys etc. So we went over all that. My 12 year old daughter pulls the sh1t tests too from time to time @stringpuller so I know the date's behavior is not uncommon. But my ex thinks she gets a pass because she is a high school girl
. So yes my ex is rather clueless about how adroit teenage girls are at manipulation. He doesn't buy it even when our own daughter pulls sh1t tests (ugh). But I do and I reel her in on the regular.
I'll let you know what shakes out today once my son communicates with his date. I did ask him if there are other girls he can ask, he said sure, and that he is going to think it over and decide what to do.
This is literally his first date he has asked out, ever. So if you're gonna learn gentlemen, might as well learn from the get-go. I'll let the board know how it turns out.
For those that are curious my son attends a military academy much like President Trump did. He expects to go to college at one of the military academies (West Point, Naval Academy, Air Force, etc.) and he is diligently focused on that, making great grades, playing varsity sports, sits first chair in the band, leadership roles, and he is very good with people. He has a natural gift in that way. He is a natural leader and many of the upper class young men gravitate to him and respect him. He is well liked and the other young men listen when he speaks. The teachers and administration compliment his maturity and behavior all the time. So he's disciplined and on the right track in that way.
But it is also very important that he learns to be his own man and deeply respect himself. Its my and his dad's job to give him training wheels and guidance but also to allow him space to grow and fail. As @sazc and others have pointed out he should not tolerate disrespectful behavior from others. I see my role as a parent to include guiding him (not dictating to him) in regards to the type of behavior he would do well to encourage, and that which he would do well to avoid. But I also believe my son must be the one to decide what course of action to take and then live with the natural consequences of that decision. So I'm going to offer guidance and stay out of it. This is his dad's view as well.
Last evening I spoke to him after his game and I told him I did not like the way this girl is putting demands on him, and that I think her behavior is sh!tty and disrespectful. I reminded him not to let anyone else manipulate him (because that is what she is trying to do) and I also reminded him that some of the girls may brag among their friends about events like this and then try to act like demanding princesses because these boys are seen as "rich" boys etc. So we went over all that. My 12 year old daughter pulls the sh1t tests too from time to time @stringpuller so I know the date's behavior is not uncommon. But my ex thinks she gets a pass because she is a high school girl
. So yes my ex is rather clueless about how adroit teenage girls are at manipulation. He doesn't buy it even when our own daughter pulls sh1t tests (ugh). But I do and I reel her in on the regular.I'll let you know what shakes out today once my son communicates with his date. I did ask him if there are other girls he can ask, he said sure, and that he is going to think it over and decide what to do.
This is literally his first date he has asked out, ever. So if you're gonna learn gentlemen, might as well learn from the get-go. I'll let the board know how it turns out.
