High Attraction Day One, Then It Goes...

[2-D]

This is a repeating pattern for me.

I have found that when I first meet a girl, I can get really high interest in her, usually very quickly, and she seems to be really into me, but then after a day or two, she only wants me as a friend, and isn't into me any more.

Does anyone experienced know why this keeps happening to me?

 

[lakeshore]

join the club bro, yeah it sucks.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

This is a repeating pattern for me.

Then it is not THEM, it is YOU.

I have found that when I first meet a girl, I can get really high interest in her, usually very quickly,

How do you define "high interest"? Meaning, what makes you think they are very interested in you? How do you measure or figure that she's really interested?

and she seems to be really into me, but then after a day or two, she only wants me as a friend, and isn't into me any more.

You don't give us an example of everything that goes on. The truth is that she decided, early on, as early as the very same day you think she is very interested, that she only wants you as a friend.

Does anyone experienced know why this keeps happening to me?

You are doing stuff that is turning them off to you. That's for sure. If you are seeing a pattern, it means you are killing the attraction. You are either being too nice, or calling/texting too much soon after, I don't know.

Please, tell me what do you usually do after the first day, or during the first day? We are no psychic or mind readers, and you provide very little to no information about what you say, do, etc., during, and after your first "date".

Please give more info.

 

[Joe Stud]

dont give them too much attention in the beginning. be more mysterious & aloof

 

[lakeshore]

take a lot of this advice offered with a grain of salt.

Its a state of mind really. If you TRULY believe you're a man who many pretty girls (not all of course, lets not get unrealistic) out there should feel lucky to be with you, then you will project that. Girls will want to stay with you. You can call them ALL the time, and beg them to come to your house, and they will still want to be with you.

If you don't truly believe that, then work on yourself until you get there. Work out, make new friends, do well at work/school, travel. You'll get there. But while you're doing all that keep hitting on chics anyway.

It takes time, enjoy the journey bud.

 

[2-D]

Please, tell me what do you usually do after the first day, or during the first day? We are no psychic or mind readers, and you provide very little to no information about what you say, do, etc., during, and after your first "date".

Please give more info.

I know it's me, I just need to know how to fix it.

It's different a lot of the time, the way I act when I am around them I mean. Sometimes I am kinda talkative and joke about them a lot etc. don't normally give them a lot of attention. They usually respond by giving me 100% attention, trying to talk to me all the time when I speak to my friends I'm with, whatever, a lot of eye contact, light touching.

Next day when I see them though, (or a few days) they just treat me like a friend, and they are completely different towards me? I am sure I don't treat them much differently, I know I tend to give them more attention, but I can't think of anything else.

The reason I didn't bother to include all of that, is because I know a lot of guys who have said the exact same thing happens to them, I thought it was just a common problem that someone could reply to like "yer, just do X, Y and Z and it'll be okay." Hopefully someone will know what I can do though?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I know it's me, I just need to know how to fix it.

It's different a lot of the time, the way I act when I am around them I mean. Sometimes I am kinda talkative and joke about them a lot etc. don't normally give them a lot of attention. They usually respond by giving me 100% attention, trying to talk to me all the time when I speak to my friends I'm with, whatever, a lot of eye contact, light touching.

Next day when I see them though, (or a few days) they just treat me like a friend, and they are completely different towards me? I am sure I don't treat them much differently, I know I tend to give them more attention, but I can't think of anything else.

The reason I didn't bother to include all of that, is because I know a lot of guys who have said the exact same thing happens to them, I thought it was just a common problem that someone could reply to like "yer, just do X, Y and Z and it'll be okay." Hopefully someone will know what I can do though?

And how do they treat you the first day? Please give details as to why you think they are really into you.

It is a common problem, a lot of guys don't have much game and don't know how to proceed, and take the interaction to the next level. That is why this type of things happens to them often. Maybe they don't know how to escalate, or see the obvious signs she is giving, until after, when she stops, and they finally see the difference between day 1 and 2.

"yer, just do X, Y and Z and it'll be okay" does not exist. You need to learn your basics, then learn how to keep the attraction while escalating. There are no shortcuts.

Are you touching and/or kissing these women?

 

[2-D]

It is a common problem, a lot of guys don't have much game and don't know how to proceed, and take the interaction to the next level.

Exactly like how I am, I am clueless as to how to take things to the next level, and am a little nervous about kino. Maybe that has something to do with it.

I think they are into me because you know, you just know when a girl likes you, the way she speaks, the way she looks at you, all that. Heavy eye contact, comfortable touching me often, sometimes they will just cuddle up to me if we are sitting down because they are "cold" and things like that.

And no I am not touching/kissing them, if any of that does happen it's the other way around that they initiate it. If this is the cause then I'll just have to work on it.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I think they are into me because you know, you just know when a girl likes you, the way she speaks, the way she looks at you, all that. Heavy eye contact, comfortable touching me often, sometimes they will just cuddle up to me if we are sitting down because they are "cold" and things like that.

Ok, so there it is. Why weren't you mentioning this before? Instead you were hoping for somebody to give you some magic pill answer as to why this happens. You know exactly what the problem is. You are not pulling the trigger.

And no I am not touching/kissing them, if any of that does happen it's the other way around that they initiate it. If this is the cause then I'll just have to work on it.

This is not good, for two main reasons:

1) She either thinks you are not into her, or that you are so clueless to realize what the deal is, or just thinks you are a big puss. That can ony kill attraction. She is taking on the role of the agressor and the more it happenes, she sees you less and less as the sexually threatening male she is looking for.

2) She feels rejected. She makes it very obvious she's into you, and you are not reciprocating. She feels rejected that you didn't take her offer, either because you don't like her as much, or for whatever reason. She looses interest and goes cold on you. She is no longer interested in playing "agressive woman" with you again, just for the chance that you might man up and actually show some real interest.

Can you really blame these women? So yes, it is YOU. This goes for everyone on this thread that says experiences this often. Stop being so damn passive, unless off course, you want an agressive woman who has more masculine energy than you, and is more dominant. Don't expect feminine types to be chasing you. They have enough dude pursuing them to bother with you.

 

[2-D]

Can you really blame these women? So yes, it is YOU. This goes for everyone on this thread that says experiences this often. Stop being so damn passive, unless off course, you want an agressive woman who has more masculine energy than you, and is more dominant. Don't expect feminine types to be chasing you. They have enough dude pursuing them to bother with you.

Okay, thanks for your help GoL , /thread I guess

Time to go work on showing interest, escalating and all that good stuff aha.

 

[omega05]

Can you really blame these women? So yes, it is YOU. This goes for everyone on this thread that says experiences this often. Stop being so damn passive, unless off course, you want an agressive woman who has more masculine energy than you, and is more dominant. Don't expect feminine types to be chasing you. They have enough dude pursuing them to bother with you.

u say stop being passive. in my situations, i try to be aggressive by calling/texting and trying to set something up but then i get no response or flakiness or it seems like i come off as thirsty. so how can you be aggressive with these females without coming off as thirsty?

 

[nismo-4]

u say stop being passive. in my situations, i try to be aggressive by calling/texting and trying to set something up but then i get no response or flakiness or it seems like i come off as thirsty. so how can you be aggressive with these females without coming off as thirsty?

I will say that Gangster of Love solved this case.

@ you Omega, you may be on the phone for too long or someone offered her a better deal. Don't call too often, don't text too often.