It seems that an AFC - I would prefer to call him a seducer-to-be - such as I am - has this weird psychology of trying to hide his sexuality with women.
The idea seems to be that should he show (express) his sexual interest in women, they would be instantly turned off by it. So he tries to keep it from view, so that women would not be on to him.
Suppose you'd walk into a room full of hot women. The seducer-to-be might want to express (to his friend, who is walking next to him, or to his own mind) that he has never seen a room so full of hot women.
He would be inclined to express "oh my god, I have never seen so many hot women here." He would not dare do this out loud for these women to hear.
The seducer on the other hand might be inclined to express "oh my god, look at all these hot, gorgeous women." He would WANT the women to hear it. In fact, he might be saying it TO them, and not to his friend at all (or not exclusively).
Why does the seducer-to-be think he needs to hide his interest? Why does he express himself in ways that require hiding?
Expressing his interest in an open, charismatic way puts him right in the spotlight, getting all eyes turned toward him. This is scary as hell. He does not want all this attention - or the challenge that it presents him.
So he goes through his days never showing an active interest, except when he's dead certain the girl will like him - when she's showing an active interest, when her eyes light up, when he sees her thinking "who is this guy?"
It's such a shame, such a miserable life. A life spent hiding. A life spent wanting, wishing. A life spent overawed by women, being at their mercy. A life spent being unattractive for the vast majority.
Maybe it is not the curse of all seducers-to-be, but it is my curse. I have spent my life hiding, not only from women, but from most people. Your sexuality simply reflects this overall attitude. You cannot have excellent sexuality with a broken self image, and you can not have poor sexuality with a great self image.
That's why Desdinova writes:
What, in all honesty, can you say to a man who does not dare show himself? How would you describe his personality? How would you read his beliefs - beliefs that you, yourself, very well might not share. Beliefs that might be incredibly self-limiting. Beliefs that you would recognize as being dysfunctional and self-destructive.
All of life is visible in the sexual relationship. Why does a man hide his sex, and what does he believe that is false?
The idea seems to be that should he show (express) his sexual interest in women, they would be instantly turned off by it. So he tries to keep it from view, so that women would not be on to him.
Suppose you'd walk into a room full of hot women. The seducer-to-be might want to express (to his friend, who is walking next to him, or to his own mind) that he has never seen a room so full of hot women.
He would be inclined to express "oh my god, I have never seen so many hot women here." He would not dare do this out loud for these women to hear.
The seducer on the other hand might be inclined to express "oh my god, look at all these hot, gorgeous women." He would WANT the women to hear it. In fact, he might be saying it TO them, and not to his friend at all (or not exclusively).
Why does the seducer-to-be think he needs to hide his interest? Why does he express himself in ways that require hiding?
Expressing his interest in an open, charismatic way puts him right in the spotlight, getting all eyes turned toward him. This is scary as hell. He does not want all this attention - or the challenge that it presents him.
So he goes through his days never showing an active interest, except when he's dead certain the girl will like him - when she's showing an active interest, when her eyes light up, when he sees her thinking "who is this guy?"
It's such a shame, such a miserable life. A life spent hiding. A life spent wanting, wishing. A life spent overawed by women, being at their mercy. A life spent being unattractive for the vast majority.
Maybe it is not the curse of all seducers-to-be, but it is my curse. I have spent my life hiding, not only from women, but from most people. Your sexuality simply reflects this overall attitude. You cannot have excellent sexuality with a broken self image, and you can not have poor sexuality with a great self image.
That's why Desdinova writes:
We are here on this site to become better men. The study of seduction is simply a core of our beingness that reflects how well we do in life overall. And our progress with it reflects our progress in our entire life.
What, in all honesty, can you say to a man who does not dare show himself? How would you describe his personality? How would you read his beliefs - beliefs that you, yourself, very well might not share. Beliefs that might be incredibly self-limiting. Beliefs that you would recognize as being dysfunctional and self-destructive.
All of life is visible in the sexual relationship. Why does a man hide his sex, and what does he believe that is false?