Hiding her Boyfriend.

[ShamrockD]

First of all,hello to all,I am new to the forum!

Here is my thing.

I have a major crush for my classmate the past months.We know each other for a year.But I didn't make a move for 2 reasons.
1) i had another girlfriend the first months and
2) after I broke up and I was single,her work schedule was so heavy that she didn't have time even for herself (true story).
3) she also told me (we went out 2 times alone) because of her schedule she didn't want a relationship or anything at that time because of her schedule and that she was single.
The point is that as I learned from 2 other common classmates we have,she was for the past months maintaining a long distant relationship from abroad (she met someone abroad,kept contact and visited each other the past months).I thought that this kind of relationship was easier for her due to her lack of time.It would be easier to commit in that way (only online chatting)
BUT she hided that from me.She even hides it from me even now that 1),2) and 3) factors don't exist anymore.

Do you think she likes the attention,or maybe she indeed likes me and hides the relationship to see what I would do?Because it is pretty much annoying to give the other one false hope.(I assume she sure has an idea that I like her since I suggested dating many times the past months).
How do you think I should handle it considering the following:
- I really have a crush on her (don't tell me there are plenty of fish around,I know )
- If I am rejected,it would be really awkward in class (I would mind to be rejected if I we weren't in a common group of class/friends)

 

[SgtSplacker]

Due to the fact that she is maintaining (trying) a long distance relationship you can draw the conclusion that she is that type that wants what she can't have. I would try to impress her in a subtle way, then draw back and make her think you are not interested. This may draw her closer to you...

That schedule thing is BS, she doesn't like you.

Find out what she likes, 1 up her and go ghost.

 

[Skyline]

She was on a date with you yet she says she doesnt want to be wth you because shes busy..? Listen to her actions! She made the time to go out with you so she might just not be an AW. And judging from the situation, she either isnt interested or lost it.

I agree that schedule thing is a load of bull. I bet she simply said that to give you the subtle hint that she is not interested and or is seeing someone else. Im guessing your oneitis for her most likely turned her off as well.

My advice: shes already creeped out by you and gave you some subtle hints. Move on and talk to other girls. I believe your chance with you gettig with her, based on what you said and the AFC'ness of this post, is very very low. Another thing, girls who are interested wont confuse you.

Say nothing and just walk away from her. Read the DJ Bible here too. You need help.

 

[ShamrockD]

I appreciate the advice.

But you misjudged some things,especially Frayzer.

She didn't tell me she does not want to be with me because of sth. We had a talk in class and knew that she was not for relationship that period. So the 2 times we went out were not that much of a date,more than to know each other thing. The work schedule is usually an excuse, I know, but in this situation it was a real thing (9 to 9 pm every day no days off ).

I tend to agree with SgtSplacker,she is very confusing.Acting like" yeah lets got there there and there",then cancels last moments,then disappear or not initate contact,and all the time even now keeps hiding her long distant thing.

And there comes my "complaint".If she doesn't like me,if she wants to avoid me,why doesn't she reveal to me that he has someone abroad as a message to back-off?

 

[betheman]

I appreciate the advice.

But you misjudged some things,especially Frayzer.

She didn't tell me she does not want to be with me because of sth. We had a talk in class and knew that she was not for relationship that period. So the 2 times we went out were not that much of a date,more than to know each other thing. The work schedule is usually an excuse, I know, but in this situation it was a real thing (9 to 9 pm every day no days off ).

I tend to agree with SgtSplacker,she is very confusing.Acting like" yeah lets got there there and there",then cancels last moments,then disappear or not initate contact,and all the time even now keeps hiding her long distant thing.

And there comes my "complaint".If she doesn't like me,if she wants to avoid me,why doesn't she reveal to me that he has someone abroad as a message to back-off?

you have become one of her girlfriends, she isnt really interested in you, you are on the subs bench

 

[ShamrockD]

Maybe you are right.Her flakiness however,as i have seen is general with most people,not only with me.

Is there a way to turn it around and attract interest you believe? (based on the fact i see her once a week in class or common group of friends)

 

[Skyline]

Listen to her actions bro!

Shes already given you subtle hints thats shes not interested. If she really was she wouldnt cancel last minute and leave you thinking in the dust. A girl will rarely ever tell you she doesnt like you. There isnt much you can do for your oneitis so move on(no contact in your case) and talk to other girls.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I appreciate the advice.

But you misjudged some things,especially Frayzer.

She didn't tell me she does not want to be with me because of sth. We had a talk in class and knew that she was not for relationship that period. So the 2 times we went out were not that much of a date,more than to know each other thing. The work schedule is usually an excuse, I know, but in this situation it was a real thing (9 to 9 pm every day no days off ).

I tend to agree with SgtSplacker,she is very confusing.Acting like" yeah lets got there there and there",then cancels last moments,then disappear or not initate contact,and all the time even now keeps hiding her long distant thing.

And there comes my "complaint".If she doesn't like me,if she wants to avoid me,why doesn't she reveal to me that he has someone abroad as a message to back-off?

Because women love to have orbiters man, this is one of the most valuable lessons you can take away from these forums. And I say it's valuable because it seems so counter intuitive for men, at least for me. I would never imagine women enjoy playing with some dudes emotions to make them feel better about themselves but this is exactly what so many of them do. Repeat after me please "Women like to keep orbiters around."

 

[Alvafe]

I appreciate the advice.

But you misjudged some things,especially Frayzer.

She didn't tell me she does not want to be with me because of sth. We had a talk in class and knew that she was not for relationship that period. So the 2 times we went out were not that much of a date,more than to know each other thing. The work schedule is usually an excuse, I know, but in this situation it was a real thing (9 to 9 pm every day no days off ).

I tend to agree with SgtSplacker,she is very confusing.Acting like" yeah lets got there there and there",then cancels last moments,then disappear or not initate contact,and all the time even now keeps hiding her long distant thing.

And there comes my "complaint".If she doesn't like me,if she wants to avoid me,why doesn't she reveal to me that he has someone abroad as a message to back-off?

he don't, he is right, and you are looking for excuses to protect your ego thinking, "I can't be wrong" well you are, if things was ok you wouldn't even make a post here and you would be with ehr already.

just drop her and find another, read the DJbible and move to others, learn from this and try not repeat it