"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Hi 'Mr. Serious'

Meisterman

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A girl I meet up with jokingly said this to me last time I saw her. I then asked her why she said that and she said it's because she always sends me long texts and I'm just like "yeah" "sure" or "alright". I also barely hit her up but she texts me most days. We've already banged three times. Should I stop trying to be 'serious' all the time or is that just her effort trying to break me into a typical AFC?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TheMonkeyKing

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Try to employ a bit of humour now and then. No one wants to spend much time with a sourpuss.

But otherwise, you're not a performing monkey; act how you want. Acting up/playing the clown is so commonplace among men and women these days and it get very f*cking annoying, very f*cking quickly.
 

Stugots26

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That's her attempt to subtly chide you because in her mind you are making her feel her own insecurities. Of course you can't make her feel anything. It's taking a shiv to her id that you're not responding exactly how she'd like to all of her lengthy texts, and it gets her hamster running, so in an effort to save face and make her feel better about herself, she convinces herself that the problem is you, and that you're just too serious.
 

LMFAO

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Hi Miss Boring, what boring things have you done today? <smile>
 

Meisterman

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Stugots26 said:
That's her attempt to subtly chide you because in her mind you are making her feel her own insecurities. Of course you can't make her feel anything. It's taking a shiv to her id that you're not responding exactly how she'd like to all of her lengthy texts, and it gets her hamster running, so in an effort to save face and make her feel better about herself, she convinces herself that the problem is you, and that you're just too serious.
Insightful response. So I should just keep steady? If it gets her wheel spinning that's probably a good thing.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Stugots26

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It's definitely good because she's thinking about you and trying to figure you out.

However, I find that when this kind of thing happens, and I hear even slight passive aggression from a woman who initiates and doesn't get exactly the amount of attention or returned investment she's demonstrating, a red flag goes up.

It's the same thing with women who see red flags when AFCs do all these favors for them and then expect a return on investment and get butthurt, frustrated, or passive aggressive when the woman doesn't respond how she did in the AFC's fantasies.

A beautiful woman with a great attitude will willingly continue to reach out and reach out, send you lengthy texts one after another, regardless of how short your responses are, and not get the slightest bit insecure. She knows that you're a man and you've got other, more important things going on than her stream of consciousness texts, but she's thinking about you. That's if you've set it up properly. She knows you think she's hot because men typically do and you're not going to blow her off because men typically don't, so she doesn't feel the need to stress out about shorter responses to her texts. Compare that to getting any form of rebuke, whether it's ball-busting, joking around, or actual frustration, as in your current situation.
 

Meisterman

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Stugots26 said:
It's definitely good because she's thinking about you and trying to figure you out.

However, I find that when this kind of thing happens, and I hear even slight passive aggression from a woman who initiates and doesn't get exactly the amount of attention or returned investment she's demonstrating, a red flag goes up.

It's the same thing with women who see red flags when AFCs do all these favors for them and then expect a return on investment and get butthurt, frustrated, or passive aggressive when the woman doesn't respond how she did in the AFC's fantasies.

A beautiful woman with a great attitude will willingly continue to reach out and reach out, send you lengthy texts one after another, regardless of how short your responses are, and not get the slightest bit insecure. She knows that you're a man and you've got other, more important things going on than her stream of consciousness texts, but she's thinking about you. That's if you've set it up properly. She knows you think she's hot because men typically do and you're not going to blow her off because men typically don't, so she doesn't feel the need to stress out about shorter responses to her texts. Compare that to getting any form of rebuke, whether it's ball-busting, joking around, or actual frustration, as in your current situation.
So what do you suggest? Stay or course of change it up? I should add there was a period about 2 weeks ago I began to mirror her affection, and she went NC for 5 days (the longest since we met) and finally reached out since I was also committed to NC. I'm convinced if I kept hitting her up it would have been all but over. It seems the less I care or try to validate her, the more attention she gives me. Again I don't act this way to get attention, I do it because I legitimately don't care. Whenever I do care, it seems to repel the girl away anyway, so I figure there's no point. I'm just wondering why you say it's a red flag? You're right a confident woman shouldn't care if I send short texts, but if she does care that's her problem not mine?
 

Stugots26

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Meisterman said:
but if she does care that's her problem not mine?
Exactly. Just keep doing what you're doing. Let her come to you. She can save her complaining for her male girlfriend orbiter, as long as she's fvcking you.
 

Meisterman

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Stugots26 said:
Exactly. Just keep doing what you're doing. Let her come to you. She can save her complaining for her male girlfriend orbiter, as long as she's fvcking you.
Alright, she texted me again tonight asking what's up and I said not much you. Then she went on about how she's working on a script for class followed up by "Hope you're not mad at me mr serious :)" to which I replied "Why would I be mad at you grandma? Lol" And she says "I dunno kid. Cause I'm kind of crazy and I like u." So I just said "Aw how cute haha" and she sent a winky face.

It's clear her insecurities are getting to her based on how I'm communicating. I have no idea why she would think I'm mad at her, it's kind of funny actually. And we haven't fu*ked in almost two weeks which is probably why I've been on edge & less responsive in texts because my phone plan doesn't cover the "friend zone" lol. She said she wanted to last night but had an 8 am class and also she's been sick with a cold and said she didn't wanna "pass anything on to me." So offered to reschedule Thursday or Friday. Cool whatever. I'm just gonna keep doing what I'm doing. But if I don't get some pu55y soon though I'm cutting her off.
 
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