InLawsHateMe
Master Don Juan
..just checking.... I think last time I heard from you, you were concerned about the time apart with her?
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Hey Ronin I.. how r u and yo girl doin'?
- Thread starter InLawsHateMe
- Start date
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What's up InLaws...
I actually haven't seen her since I last posted about her.
We hung out the Saturday before last.
I spoke to her the following Wed. and made tentative plans to hang out last Thur. but that fell through 'cause she had a lot of stuff to do before her trip this past weekend. She took a trip to Boston for her cousin's bachelorette party.
Anyway, she called me when she got back Monday (left message) and I called her back last night and we made plans to do something Thursday. So again almost another two weeks goes by before we see each other again. Not exactly what I'm hoping for but it seems as if we're both trying to maintain the challenge factor (*sigh*).
I am trying to be patient. But I plan on ramping things up physically tomorrow night. After almost two months (and what will be six get-togethers) I'm due.
I just have to make sure we get back to my place early enough to allow time (she is a teacher and always complains about having to get up early in the morning).
I am angry at myself for being too "nice" when it comes to the physical stuff and not pushing things, but tomorrow I'm going to push.
We'll see what happens.
I actually haven't seen her since I last posted about her.
We hung out the Saturday before last.
I spoke to her the following Wed. and made tentative plans to hang out last Thur. but that fell through 'cause she had a lot of stuff to do before her trip this past weekend. She took a trip to Boston for her cousin's bachelorette party.
Anyway, she called me when she got back Monday (left message) and I called her back last night and we made plans to do something Thursday. So again almost another two weeks goes by before we see each other again. Not exactly what I'm hoping for but it seems as if we're both trying to maintain the challenge factor (*sigh*).
I am trying to be patient. But I plan on ramping things up physically tomorrow night. After almost two months (and what will be six get-togethers) I'm due.
I just have to make sure we get back to my place early enough to allow time (she is a teacher and always complains about having to get up early in the morning).
I am angry at myself for being too "nice" when it comes to the physical stuff and not pushing things, but tomorrow I'm going to push.
We'll see what happens.
Oh, here;s the original thread if anybody gives a sh!t...
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28899
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28899
InLawsHateMe
Master Don Juan
Good luck dude... and if things are going really well, put it in the butt... ....it can't hurt to try right?
Really doe, good luck.
....it can't hurt to try right? Really doe, good luck.
DraGon_luv
Don Juan
Inlaws i give you kudos for checking up ona fellow Dj ,
thats what were all here for,
helping each other out like a family
thats what were all here for,
helping each other out like a family
I just read the original thread. I don't think you can compare your 'there's no rush' attitude with ILHM's 'Let's wait a while' attitude.
The difference is, ILHM felt confident enough in this girl's interest to be able to say to her that he wanted to f*ck her, but he wanted to wait until things were right. So he showed confidence in his sexual desire, and also was in control of when he wanted to get it on.
My guess is, he felt comfortable doing this because he knew her interest was high. You don't seem to know that about your girl and after 2 months and 6 dates, LTR-material or not, it's definitely a red flag that she's throwing confusing signals.
I know you don't want to push for it and scare her away because you think she's such a good prospect, but right now you're telling yourself 'it doesn't matter' just because you've not gotten any clear interest from her. You're denying what you want and holding yourself back because you're confused, not because you're in control, and that's the difference between your situation and ILHMs, and it's all down to the lack of interest you're getting from her.
RKTek had a similar situation a month or so back - he sat down with the girl and told her what he wanted. Check his thread out if you want to see how he dealt with it.
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26045
Maybe she is just insecure and shy, so you need to take a bit more control and get a straight answer from her, one way or the other.
Good luck.
bp1974
The difference is, ILHM felt confident enough in this girl's interest to be able to say to her that he wanted to f*ck her, but he wanted to wait until things were right. So he showed confidence in his sexual desire, and also was in control of when he wanted to get it on.
My guess is, he felt comfortable doing this because he knew her interest was high. You don't seem to know that about your girl and after 2 months and 6 dates, LTR-material or not, it's definitely a red flag that she's throwing confusing signals.
I know you don't want to push for it and scare her away because you think she's such a good prospect, but right now you're telling yourself 'it doesn't matter' just because you've not gotten any clear interest from her. You're denying what you want and holding yourself back because you're confused, not because you're in control, and that's the difference between your situation and ILHMs, and it's all down to the lack of interest you're getting from her.
RKTek had a similar situation a month or so back - he sat down with the girl and told her what he wanted. Check his thread out if you want to see how he dealt with it.
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26045
Maybe she is just insecure and shy, so you need to take a bit more control and get a straight answer from her, one way or the other.
Good luck.
bp1974
Maybe she is just insecure and shy, so you need to take a bit more control and get a straight answer from her, one way or the other.
Dude, let's hope it's that (shyness) and not fvcking herpes!
it's definitely a red flag that she's throwing confusing signals.
Maybe so maybe not. Don't all women at one point or another throw up confusing signals? It's kind of par for the course don't you think?
In some ways I agree with you which is why I posted on this in the first place (so no I'm not telling myself it 'doesn't matter") but I am determined to maintain a positive/optimistic attitude with this one.
Dude, let's hope it's that (shyness) and not fvcking herpes!
it's definitely a red flag that she's throwing confusing signals.
Maybe so maybe not. Don't all women at one point or another throw up confusing signals? It's kind of par for the course don't you think?
In some ways I agree with you which is why I posted on this in the first place (so no I'm not telling myself it 'doesn't matter") but I am determined to maintain a positive/optimistic attitude with this one.
Damn straight..!
True, they do, but it means different things at different stages of the relationship. I'm no oracle, but to me it seems that the difference is that if you've been seeing a girl for a while, you know she likes you and you're into her, and she starts testing you with confusing signals, it's because she wants to see how you react, what you're made of, whether you're a man or a boy. The fact that she's testing you means she really likes you, otherwise she wouldn't bother.
But if a girl is just not showing real physical interest in me to begin with, then to me that usually signals that she's just not that into me. Maybe I'm wrong and I've been walking away from good prospects, but I really don't think so. All the girls that I've had a great time with, I've been left in no doubt that they wanted me pretty much from the start.
Good! Let us know how it goes.
Good luck,
bp1974
Damn!!!!!!!!!!
Arggghhhhhhhh!!!!
She just called and cancelled for tonight.
I'm fvcking frustrated.
Too tired and too much work to do, etc, etc.
She was like "I really don't feel like going out...did you really want to go out...(pause)...or...(pause)...what did you plan on doing?"
I read this as a quick sh!t test. Did I plan on doing something and was I willing to break those plans. Would I have been supplicating if I had said "yeah no big deal let's just chill at your house?" I almost said that. Instead...
I said "My school is having a happy hour at that place you wanted to check out with the free salsa lessons". I'm like "it's perfect...we can drink for free and get the free lessons like you wanted."
She was like, "I know it sounds great, but I still have so much to do for tomorrow and I'm tired".
Then later in the convo she's like "Well I'm gonna try and exercise for a half an hour and then I think I'm gonna go over to my mom's for an hour or so. I haven't seen her in two weeks".
In retrospect, maybe I should've pushed and said - "no big deal, if you don't feel like going out, let's just rent a movie and chill at your house." I mean maybe it wasn't a sh!t test, maybe she just wouldv'e rather we stayed in tonight but she didn't want to just come out and say it. I just didn;t want to come off as needy/wussy by just saying "yeah, let's just do whatever YOU want to do."
The truth of the matter is I would much rather go over her house and watch a movie then go to this freakin' bar tonight. What's the point of fvcking free salsa lessons if you don;t have a dance partner. Fvck. I'm trying to be so conscious of not giving in to sh!t tests that I'm not letting myself speak my mind.
Why does it always have to be a goddamn power struggle?
Whatever - I'm chalking this up as a total loss - if she calls me in an effort to make plans - I'll consider it, but, I've put more than enough time and energy into this one for what little I've gotten out of it. I'm off to the bar to find another (and another and another).
Any thoughts on the above situation and how I handled it are appreciated.
Arggghhhhhhhh!!!!
She just called and cancelled for tonight.
I'm fvcking frustrated.
Too tired and too much work to do, etc, etc.
She was like "I really don't feel like going out...did you really want to go out...(pause)...or...(pause)...what did you plan on doing?"
I read this as a quick sh!t test. Did I plan on doing something and was I willing to break those plans. Would I have been supplicating if I had said "yeah no big deal let's just chill at your house?" I almost said that. Instead...
I said "My school is having a happy hour at that place you wanted to check out with the free salsa lessons". I'm like "it's perfect...we can drink for free and get the free lessons like you wanted."
She was like, "I know it sounds great, but I still have so much to do for tomorrow and I'm tired".
Then later in the convo she's like "Well I'm gonna try and exercise for a half an hour and then I think I'm gonna go over to my mom's for an hour or so. I haven't seen her in two weeks".
In retrospect, maybe I should've pushed and said - "no big deal, if you don't feel like going out, let's just rent a movie and chill at your house." I mean maybe it wasn't a sh!t test, maybe she just wouldv'e rather we stayed in tonight but she didn't want to just come out and say it. I just didn;t want to come off as needy/wussy by just saying "yeah, let's just do whatever YOU want to do."
The truth of the matter is I would much rather go over her house and watch a movie then go to this freakin' bar tonight. What's the point of fvcking free salsa lessons if you don;t have a dance partner. Fvck. I'm trying to be so conscious of not giving in to sh!t tests that I'm not letting myself speak my mind.
Why does it always have to be a goddamn power struggle?
Whatever - I'm chalking this up as a total loss - if she calls me in an effort to make plans - I'll consider it, but, I've put more than enough time and energy into this one for what little I've gotten out of it. I'm off to the bar to find another (and another and another).
Any thoughts on the above situation and how I handled it are appreciated.
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