I know most of my posts have had a positive outlook on life and other things. I believe its the best way to go through and view life but it's not always easy to face the world with a smile.
Which is why I needed a little support from you guys.
The Lowdown:
Gym/Yoga/BJJ These are the activities and hobbies that I currently keep myself busy with. Lately, well over the last month Ive lost my motivation. I have lost 10 pounds over the last month and a bit but thats where it is right now. It seems that I have plateaued on my wieght loss and now I cant seem to spark that fire within me to continue getting better at Yoga, BJJ, or even hitting up dumbbells.
Work:
So I work at a very well known publishing company around the world. Work is easy, people are awesome, management is ****, but waht comapny is perfect? My current job was something like a filler. I took a year off previously to recharge my batteries and I thought that this job would help me get me back on my feet and into a routine.
I know for a fact that is not the career for me, thats why I am currently studying to become a Financial Advisor for a very reuptable Life Insurance Company. I have been studying for a while now, but it seems that I cant absorb anymore information, I study the book and look at the words, sometimes twice but it doesnt seem to stick in my head. I also keep putting off booking my exam, maybe because Im scared im going to fail. and not just fail, FAIL misreably. WHY? like I said, the inforamtion doesnt seem to stick in my head long enough to remeber.
Independece:
So I have been living out on my own for the past 5 months now. (first timer) which is great. nothing walking around your own place naked. Anyway. most my friends say thats its awesome that I have moved out on my own and they think that my 1 bedroom is set up nicely with all the gadgets like a big screen tv, ps3, chef knives, kitchen, office area, queen sized bed and all.
I for one dont look at it like that. Yeah so what if Im on my own. at my age, I should of done it like 10 years ago. I feel that im playing catch up. it feels like im in a race and Im one of those fat kids that is left behind still trying to get out of the blocks while everyone is half way finished.
Women:
Where do I start. Its been a long time now since I ve had a long term or at least a meaningful relationship. I still go out and try to game chicks. which is not a problem but it seems to me that there is no end to it. When I think one is quality and worth spending time with, they show their true colours, it turns me off and I'm back to square one with no end.
This one girl I was gaming over the weekend gave me the cold shoulder at a party. To get her off my mind I went on a first date the next day with some other girl. She was cute, big boobs, but she drinks like a fish and I can tell she is putting on weight cause of her drinking. ugghhhh.
So guys it leads me to this. is this normal? to feel this way? to view life this life this way? Am i going through a depression and I dont see it because maybe I mask myself with a semi positive out look on life? or maybe I was just born it mediocrity? I want to live life with a smile and I dont want to look back at my life thinking thats all im going to get.
So what do you guys think? Im open to suggestion and comments no matter how harsh they can be.
Thank you.
Which is why I needed a little support from you guys.
The Lowdown:
Gym/Yoga/BJJ These are the activities and hobbies that I currently keep myself busy with. Lately, well over the last month Ive lost my motivation. I have lost 10 pounds over the last month and a bit but thats where it is right now. It seems that I have plateaued on my wieght loss and now I cant seem to spark that fire within me to continue getting better at Yoga, BJJ, or even hitting up dumbbells.
Work:
So I work at a very well known publishing company around the world. Work is easy, people are awesome, management is ****, but waht comapny is perfect? My current job was something like a filler. I took a year off previously to recharge my batteries and I thought that this job would help me get me back on my feet and into a routine.
I know for a fact that is not the career for me, thats why I am currently studying to become a Financial Advisor for a very reuptable Life Insurance Company. I have been studying for a while now, but it seems that I cant absorb anymore information, I study the book and look at the words, sometimes twice but it doesnt seem to stick in my head. I also keep putting off booking my exam, maybe because Im scared im going to fail. and not just fail, FAIL misreably. WHY? like I said, the inforamtion doesnt seem to stick in my head long enough to remeber.
Independece:
So I have been living out on my own for the past 5 months now. (first timer) which is great. nothing walking around your own place naked. Anyway. most my friends say thats its awesome that I have moved out on my own and they think that my 1 bedroom is set up nicely with all the gadgets like a big screen tv, ps3, chef knives, kitchen, office area, queen sized bed and all.
I for one dont look at it like that. Yeah so what if Im on my own. at my age, I should of done it like 10 years ago. I feel that im playing catch up. it feels like im in a race and Im one of those fat kids that is left behind still trying to get out of the blocks while everyone is half way finished.
Women:
Where do I start. Its been a long time now since I ve had a long term or at least a meaningful relationship. I still go out and try to game chicks. which is not a problem but it seems to me that there is no end to it. When I think one is quality and worth spending time with, they show their true colours, it turns me off and I'm back to square one with no end.
This one girl I was gaming over the weekend gave me the cold shoulder at a party. To get her off my mind I went on a first date the next day with some other girl. She was cute, big boobs, but she drinks like a fish and I can tell she is putting on weight cause of her drinking. ugghhhh.
So guys it leads me to this. is this normal? to feel this way? to view life this life this way? Am i going through a depression and I dont see it because maybe I mask myself with a semi positive out look on life? or maybe I was just born it mediocrity? I want to live life with a smile and I dont want to look back at my life thinking thats all im going to get.
So what do you guys think? Im open to suggestion and comments no matter how harsh they can be.
Thank you.
