Hey guys, a small confession and a kinda desperate need for advice. Thanks.

[Toast123]

Hi guys. When I was around 15 or 16 something happened that has kind of stuck with me and affected my progress with women in a big way. Basically, I was young and always horny and seemed to have no problem masturbating all over the house regardless of which room I was in, as long as I did not get caught it was never a problem I guess.

Anyway one particular day I was jerking one off in the kitchen, and I literally had to *** right there and then and panicked a little trying to make my way to my bathroom so I could *** on the mirror or something but never made it. Long story short, I ended up ejaculating onto the pizza cooling on the table. Not loads, just some of the stray globules. So obviously my mind raced as I tried to formulate a solution to such an awkward problem and I ended up wiping the surface of the pizza with bleach wipes. Anyway when the family gathered around to tuck in to the pizza I made the excuse that I was sick and could not eat any.

Anyway, a few weeks later my mother announced that she was pregnant, a shock but the family seemed to welcome it, all of them but me. 9 months later my mother gave birth to my sister who has severe mental issues.

Anyway, the subconscious yet irrational belief that I impregnated my own mother with semen covered pizza has always made it hard for me to really forge any kind of long lasting relationship with women. Maybe part of me believes I don’t want to be a father again. I don’t know.

Does anyone have any advice?

 

[Purefilth]

lulz

much better

 

[Renegade357]

Just go NC.

 

[BigSmooth]

I wish more MILFs used pizza as a dildo. That's so hot.

 

[Toast123]

"Just go NC."

Hey man, thanks for the advice but I'm afraid it's too little too late. For a few years after the initial incident I did limit contact with my mother and the rest of the family, unfortunately this only caused wider tension within the household dynamic that ultimately led to my parents divorce and a long stretch of depression of which I never really recovered from.

Ironically, the only thing that kept the family together was my sister, who due to the nature of her conception was born with massive mental deficiencies such as the inability to watch The Muppets Treasure Island without digging a hole in our garden, a complete lack of comprehendable speech and a strong urge to lick doors and chew on small house hold objects. You can see how having a 7 month old daughter as severely mentally disabled as that would drive any mother to do whatever she had to do to provide a stable enviroment in such hard times. But as I said, I was never really able to fully re-connect, or maintain any form of relationship with my mother or other women to a healthy degree.

Obviously Pizza has become a strong phobia of mine, driven by the ever present and irrational fear that a bite into a slice of pepperoni is also a bite into the white seed that swishes around within my balls.

Anyhow, I'm sure some good advice will come from this board as always.

 

[Albatross953]

As a Canadian of English decent, my advice is to eat panzerotti and date your aunt.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Dont sign any paternity paper, b1tch wants her pizza and want to eat it too.

Anyway don't worry about your sister being mentally challenged, Im sure your parents already had plenty of experience to deal with the problem.

 

[JohnChops]

Just from the shear fact that you thought you could impregnate a woman by oral ingestion shows that you have no intelligence what so ever. Should've wiped the pizza with your d1ck , make it zesty

 

[Mike32ct]

Always wrap it up, even at dinner time.

 

[BlackEricNorthman]

This post is amazing.

 

[TDH]

Lol thats the worst confession of all time your no usher lol and that part about a pizza phobia classic

 

[Toast123]

Laugh.....every time I watch my mother eat something I try and force myself to enjoy gay porn. My scar's are real. As are my countries.