"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Hesitiation equals masturbation

digitalrat

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I meet a bartender at a local pool hall here in Tallahassee. She is very cute, she's probably a 7-7.5. She's not like 'WOW!" but any guy would have sex with her. Now she works the early shift normally. Now, I could tell when I first meet her she was attracted to me. I gave her C+F, negged her alittle on her cooking and drinks and just played it right. I've seen her around 4 times now, playing pool or going in there with my roommates to get food.

I went there today to get some food with 2 of my roommates. We ate and left and I went to school to go to class. Now I made a decision to go back and get her number. My plan was to tell her how she was a "good" bartender and a "decent" cook and I wanted to keep her around. Then number close.

Now, since she's a bartender there werent many opportunities to number close, but thats no excuse. I totally changed my whole script for the convo and told her about a party I was hosting Friday. Now, thats all that was said, because people next to me started sayin something. After that she was busy and she was leaving where I was going to number close on her way out, but a guy stopped her to play on a machine with her. So I got fustrated with myself and left.

I know what my main problem was. Hesitiation. Now, how do I handle her? Is it over? Should I even try? Should I just let her come to me if I'm playin pool in there one time?

"Failure is success if we learn from it"
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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^_^

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Off topic, but I think I know who you're talking about (I have a couple in mind). What bar if I may ask (Snookers?)

Bartenders are tricky girls to get. As one myself, (bartender, not a chick :p) I have seen some of my co-workers get hit on and their responses to it.

Many will just be nice and such for good tips and to get you to come back and see them. Tricky situation, maybe someone who has done it before can help you. I myself find it difficult to approach people who's jobs are basically to suck up for good tips. Too hard to tell if there is a IL or not.
 

digitalrat

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Yeah, Snookers. Where do you work?
 

hacx

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masturbation?
 

^_^

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Work at Floyds...quitting soon ^^.

Good luck with her ^^
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Originally posted by digitalrat
I meet a bartender at a local pool hall here in Tallahassee. She is very cute, she's probably a 7-7.5. She's not like 'WOW!" but any guy would have sex with her. Now she works the early shift normally. Now, I could tell when I first meet her she was attracted to me. I gave her C+F, negged her alittle on her cooking and drinks and just played it right. I've seen her around 4 times now, playing pool or going in there with my roommates to get food.

I went there today to get some food with 2 of my roommates. We ate and left and I went to school to go to class. Now I made a decision to go back and get her number. My plan was to tell her how she was a "good" bartender and a "decent" cook and I wanted to keep her around. Then number close.

Now, since she's a bartender there werent many opportunities to number close, but thats no excuse. I totally changed my whole script for the convo and told her about a party I was hosting Friday. Now, thats all that was said, because people next to me started sayin something. After that she was busy and she was leaving where I was going to number close on her way out, but a guy stopped her to play on a machine with her. So I got fustrated with myself and left.

I know what my main problem was. Hesitiation. Now, how do I handle her? Is it over? Should I even try? Should I just let her come to me if I'm playin pool in there one time?

"Failure is success if we learn from it"
was she working while u met her?
idiot, she acts like she wants u because tips are her profits !
 

DJDamage

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Quote:
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was she working while u met her?
idiot, she acts like she wants u because tips are her profits !
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

digitalrat: sometimes its hard to know if a barmaid really likes you because she does have to be all pretty and chatty that is her job, and huge_guy_pimpin is right she may be doing it for the tips.

The only way to really tell if a barmaid likes you is if she is doing SOMETHING EXTRA FOR YOU that can give you an idea if she is intrested. Example if its really buzy and you stick around and she keeps on talking to you while serving drinks to others, that is a postive sign. Another one if she offers to give you a free drink/ or a shot.

Huge_guy_pimpin: Stop calling guys idiots, that is why they are here to learn and that is why you here. Digitalrat has had a legitimate question and so far all you are giving out are short snappy answers. If you do have great tips then by all means share.
 

digitalrat

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DJDamage,

I Appreciate the objective answer. I'm not really trying to determine if she likes me or not. That really doesnt matter. I'll find out if she flakes out on me after I number close.

My question was what do I do AFTER my huge hesitiation mistake. I don't even buy drinks at the bar, we just hang out and play pool. But, I'm not going to get into "Does she like me or not" thats what the kiss test is for at the end of the night.
 
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Originally posted by DJDamage
Quote:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
was she working while u met her?
idiot, she acts like she wants u because tips are her profits !
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

digitalrat: sometimes its hard to know if a barmaid really likes you because she does have to be all pretty and chatty that is her job, and huge_guy_pimpin is right she may be doing it for the tips.

The only way to really tell if a barmaid likes you is if she is doing SOMETHING EXTRA FOR YOU that can give you an idea if she is intrested. Example if its really buzy and you stick around and she keeps on talking to you while serving drinks to others, that is a postive sign. Another one if she offers to give you a free drink/ or a shot.

Huge_guy_pimpin: Stop calling guys idiots, that is why they are here to learn and that is why you here. Digitalrat has had a legitimate question and so far all you are giving out are short snappy answers. If you do have great tips then by all means share.
ok idiot:confused:
 

DJDamage

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digitalrat - You know that you hesitate, but she doesn't know that for sure?! All she knows is that you are throwing a party and that she is casually invited -people do it all the time.

I say continue going to the bar with the intension of having fun and not worrying to much about closing her. Invite female friends to go there so she can see that you have "other options" and is not a desperate guy who is falling in love with her like the rest of the drunks she encounters every night.

I suggest that you go when its less buzy or in the end of the night, where she is not as buzy and then you can try to number close her but even if you get rejected just laugh it off and say to her "hey you can't blame a guy for trying" and be cool.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Wiesman44

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Hey huge guy pimping......Lighten up bro. Quit calling everyone idiots. You are not as smart as you think you are. There's nothing wrong with being subjective, but if you are going to tell someone they're wrong, at least give reasons why.
 
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Originally posted by Wiesman44
Hey huge guy pimping......Lighten up bro. Quit calling everyone idiots. You are not as smart as you think you are. There's nothing wrong with being subjective, but if you are going to tell someone they're wrong, at least give reasons why.
you wrong cause im smarter than i think i am, idiot :confused:
:p
 
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