"He's Just Not That Into You" phenomenon

[flyinshark]

Alright guys. Some of you may have already heard of that book that sold and still is selling like crazy among women, called "He's Just Not THAT Into You".

It's dating advice for women, supposedly helping them avoid heart break and jerks/players. It tells them that if a guy makes up excuses for being with them, then it means that he is not really into them and they (the women) should move on and forget about the jerk.

Now, when we make up excuses we are probably not interested (so the book is right), BUT we could also be playing HARD TO GET. Right? Being a challenge...making them want us more! But this book is telling them to dump us right away when something like this happens.

Hmmm...It makes me think... If many women indeed have read that book and many more are about to, do you guys think that this could hurt our game if we fall on those women?

My idea to post this comes from the Oprah show i watched last wednesday, where they invited the guy who wrote this book, and there was this guy that said that it was starting to hurt his game. It was amusing, but the guy was serious and i think it makes for an interesting discussion topic. So, what do you all think?

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

This will only hurt your game if your entire game revolves around playing hard to get.

 

[strong like bull]

so the book tells women to call us out when we play games?

well... here are my thoughts.

first off, its a two way street. lets not even get started on the game playing that both men AND women play on eachother. women know just as much about being a challenge as men do.

secondly, if you go around playing games and being dishonest, you shouldnt mind when someone plays those same games on you. Anti-Dump and many others showed us how to protect our hearts; by standing up for ourselves and not taking any **** from women. how to conquer the silly tests they pull on us. is it suprising that women want to protect themselves, from the games a lot of GUYS play?

personally, i think it depends on what "school" of DJ you went to. it seems like people who are really into the ****y&Funny and mass quantity pick-up style use a lot of games. they have skill and confidence, but imo they are very focused on using techniques and strategies to attract women ; strategies such as ignoring/delaying contact to purposely play hard to get.

on the other hand, theres the "naturals" class of students. while they may not be naturals by definition, they study the natural order of things. they have a full comprehension of Pooks writings on inner confidence, strength and focus. also think of Jvesti's T Theory/natural game, the works of xblitz44x, and many others. with this class, its all about developing your life. youre living life to the fullest and gaining success through yourself. youre not basing your happiness on whether some girl accepts your advances, or if she falls prey to your new-and-improved blowj0b pattern. the focus is on you; not some girl.

inevitably, both classes find success with women. i just cant help but notice that the "natural process" crowd doesnt seem to play nearly as many games. theyre so caught up living their own life, that it really doesnt matter if you call a girl back 5 hours or 5 days after getting her number. the girl can sense a mans congruency and confidence; hes having fun, she digs it and wants to come along for the ride. trust me, she will quickly figure out whether hes a wussy or not, regardless of how many days his rules say to wait before calling.

interesting topic. i just think itd be nice and ironic... the game-players get worried because the girls are going to start NEXTing them the exact same way theyve been doing to the girls.

-SLB

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by TillTheEndOfTime
This will only hurt your game if your entire game revolves around playing hard to get.

Very well said. It's just that simple...

 

[PRMoon]

I don't think this book will effect serious players game that much. If it does effect it in someway, the effects will doubtlessly wear off after a few months. Just like any trend or other self help book, people forget about them after about six months.

It's like a big new years resolution. They'll practice them rigiourously for a few months, then it's back to the same old routine. Commitment is usually lacking and pretty soon they'll be desperate and falling for the same old tricks once again.

 

[Qualtran]

As many on this board undoubtedly know first hand, it is much easier to give advice than to follow it yourself. So I imagine a tiny fraction of female readers may be a little bit more defensive around guys who play hard to get, but the rest of them will not be affected in the least.

 

[RiceHapa888]

my girl bought that book once when we went to a bookstore together- she said it was a all common knowledge and a waste of money- im thinking the best approach is to be a 2/5 yourself 2/5 DJ and 1/5 AFC...seems to work the best for me. That book did nothing bad against me

 

[floorman81]

I have read the book, because I think even though I'm a male and its geared to women, it is important to know when someone is "just not that into you." Most of it is common sense, and you'll say "duh" to most of it.

But I am learning a lot, by simply hearing how other males act and act on a regular basis. I personally used to have a hard time asking out girls, but lately (since I've been on this site and been wiser) have learned its nothing special. THis book confirms that.

This is a good book to read no matter what your gender is. And if you're that dishonest and just playing girls, I hope for their sake they read this book.

 

[Slickster]

It may be a new book but the concept is as old as dirt.

By nature people always want what they can't have.

We've all experienced this phenomenon and we damn well knew better too.

No matter what anyone tells us or what we read - Nature rules.

Play on.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by MFinnegan
Its amazing that anyone gets laid.

All a guy needs to do is to be his own man and do things on his own terms. As long as you do the same things as everyone else, you will continue to be predictable and shot down time after time. Throw them for a loop, keep them off balance, deviate from the norm and you'd be surprised how much attention you will get!

 

[Skullcrusher]

When a girl plays hard to get or gives me a mixed answer. I drop her in the "I don't give much **** about her" - Do what you want, but you're still being a liar.

And we all know that girls hate being "lied to."

 

[eoin2000]

Im going to write a book called 'Its just not THAT good for you'. Theres gona be one page....you ready? Here goes:

"Ciggarettes are bad for you. Dont smoke."

Reckon people will quite in their millions? I think not. People have to learn these things for themselves before they will truly heed them. The majority of people that start smoking do in fact know that it is bad for you. They do it anyway.

 

[HuuBinh]

The book will have LITTLE to NO IMPACT! Why?

The reason is that when a girl is interested in a guy as result of his looks, challenge, confidence or whatever.

Her emotions will override any logic. Therefore, she will not even think logically or even concieving the idea that she liked him because he was being a challenge.

She thinks that it just happened and that she was naturally attracted to him w/o any "techniques" from him.

When a woman is interested, she will not be able to recognize that you were being a challenge.

 

[Tazman]

She thinks that it just happened and that she was naturally attracted to him w/o any "techniques" from him.

This is what they call "chemistry" right? I always hear stuff about chemistry and seems to be such an ambiguous term.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by HuuBinh

Her emotions will override any logic. Therefore, she will not even think logically or even concieving the idea that she liked him because he was being a challenge.

She thinks that it just happened and that she was naturally attracted to him w/o any "techniques" from him.

When a woman is interested, she will not be able to recognize that you were being a challenge.

Spot on HuuBinh , having such a solid grasp on understanding women at only 21 is admirable.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Originally posted by MFinnegan
Its amazing that anyone gets laid.

Untill you consider that people and animals have been ƒucking each other for millions of years... and without the need of any help other than your own natural sex drive.