Where I live, we're about to begin phasing out quarantine/lockdown, pending the continued reduction of new cases and deaths. Unlike in the U.S. and other countries, non-essential workers were not allowed to leave except to go to the supermarket, pharmacy, or to walk a pet. No road trips either - police were liable to pull you over if you weren't headed somewhere essential. I've basically been only in my apartment and the grocerys store for two months now.
Whatever your situation, I hope you stayed healthy and gained something (besides weight) during this time. I decided from the outset that I would take whatever positive I could from this. Reasonable people can debate the merits of the shutdown, but I'm nobody's victim and the way I see it, I'm always free to make my own decisions.
1. I used the time to work on new hobbies. By sheer luck, I just happened to buy a secondhand guitar right before the pandemic. So it was a no-brainer that I would spend at least 30 minutes each day (usually longer) practicing. I also began re-learning another foreign language, and shooting and editing short videos. Of course I watched movies to decompress, but there were many nights I was up til 3 a.m. working on something instead of vegging out. At the very least, now I'll be able to play some fun songs on guitar with people - I couldn't do that just two months ago.
2. I learned I didn't miss women at all. That doesn't mean I didn't miss specific people, or socializing. For sure I did - the only in-person conversations I've had were with cashiers at the store. In this case I mean women more in the sexual dynamic sense. My plate (I'm lazy, one at a time is usually enough for me) is in her home country so I haven't seen her at all. And though she's cool, I didn't necessarily miss hanging out with her, or any woman. I didn't miss sex at all. There was almost no stimuli for it and I was busy improving. (I looked at very little porn.) Of course, I'm a man and need to take care of business, but sometimes I think I fapped just because I thought it was unhealthy not to....like needing to exercise. I don't use OLD so there was no incentive to download Tinder, and I really didn't think it was a good idea anyway. It will be interesting the next time I speak with a woman in the flesh, that's for sure. Speaking of that...
3. "High interest" women bore me. This is something that's been percolating in my brain for some time. With the down time, it dawned on me: I'm bored by women who go after me. I know that doesn't sound very "Sosuave" of me to say but let me explain...we tell guys here to be great and the women will follow, and that's true and great advice. But for me, now, she'd better have something going on in her life besides wanting me. And, relying on IOIs all the time may very well leave a lot of great women on the bench.
I was reading something Anti-Dump wrote in 2000 (!). He said (emphases his), "WHEN A GUY IS FANTASTIC WOMEN (most) ARE A LITTLE AFRAID to make a move. They make their moves on guys that are NOT overpowering emotionally. If a woman thinks you are out of her league (above her) she will NOT ask you out."
I don't think this is an ironclad rule but there's a lot of truth in there. Some women will still make moves on guys they see as great, BUT not all will. If she sees a major disparity she probably won't. (Unless she's super unattractive.)
I'm not saying I'll be passing up easy lays with cool girls. What I'm saying is I never close the door on any girl and may work a little harder on some that aren't so obvious. They're always just an option (unless they're married or with a good friend, for me anyway). Or maybe I just need a challenge. But that's small potatoes because...
4. This event should be a wake-up call for any man not building his life the way he wants it. What's passed through my head over and over: I'm so glad this happened now and not 2-3 years ago. I would have gotten by, but I was still in a period of figuring out what to do, and also in a toxic relationship and a job I'd stayed with a little too long. Of course I broke out of both, flipped over the table and began building the life I wanted: New country, new challenges, the digital nomad life. So even though the pandemic sucks and I'd rather not repeat it, it happened for me at a time and place where I'm happier and have much better direction. That alone made the whole thing more bearable. Had this happened in 2017, I'd be dealing with the stress of lockdown AND more existential stress, and you don't want existential stress during something so morbid. (Of course, I'm blessed that I didn't catch it, nor did anyone in my family...and I've kept my job so far.)
For you gentlemen wondering which path to take in life, what to do about x, y, z...just remember, to thine own self be true. Start making the decisions that you think will make you happy. This is not a dress rehearsal, this is life. Sometimes you'll strike out and that's cool, it'll just get you ready for your next at-bat and you'll know what's coming. And if it's a big decision you're mulling, I can tell you that simply making the choice will relieve you of most of the burden. It's better to push forward and make mistakes than stand in place.
Whatever your situation, I hope you stayed healthy and gained something (besides weight) during this time. I decided from the outset that I would take whatever positive I could from this. Reasonable people can debate the merits of the shutdown, but I'm nobody's victim and the way I see it, I'm always free to make my own decisions.
1. I used the time to work on new hobbies. By sheer luck, I just happened to buy a secondhand guitar right before the pandemic. So it was a no-brainer that I would spend at least 30 minutes each day (usually longer) practicing. I also began re-learning another foreign language, and shooting and editing short videos. Of course I watched movies to decompress, but there were many nights I was up til 3 a.m. working on something instead of vegging out. At the very least, now I'll be able to play some fun songs on guitar with people - I couldn't do that just two months ago.
2. I learned I didn't miss women at all. That doesn't mean I didn't miss specific people, or socializing. For sure I did - the only in-person conversations I've had were with cashiers at the store. In this case I mean women more in the sexual dynamic sense. My plate (I'm lazy, one at a time is usually enough for me) is in her home country so I haven't seen her at all. And though she's cool, I didn't necessarily miss hanging out with her, or any woman. I didn't miss sex at all. There was almost no stimuli for it and I was busy improving. (I looked at very little porn.) Of course, I'm a man and need to take care of business, but sometimes I think I fapped just because I thought it was unhealthy not to....like needing to exercise. I don't use OLD so there was no incentive to download Tinder, and I really didn't think it was a good idea anyway. It will be interesting the next time I speak with a woman in the flesh, that's for sure. Speaking of that...
3. "High interest" women bore me. This is something that's been percolating in my brain for some time. With the down time, it dawned on me: I'm bored by women who go after me. I know that doesn't sound very "Sosuave" of me to say but let me explain...we tell guys here to be great and the women will follow, and that's true and great advice. But for me, now, she'd better have something going on in her life besides wanting me. And, relying on IOIs all the time may very well leave a lot of great women on the bench.
I was reading something Anti-Dump wrote in 2000 (!). He said (emphases his), "WHEN A GUY IS FANTASTIC WOMEN (most) ARE A LITTLE AFRAID to make a move. They make their moves on guys that are NOT overpowering emotionally. If a woman thinks you are out of her league (above her) she will NOT ask you out."
I don't think this is an ironclad rule but there's a lot of truth in there. Some women will still make moves on guys they see as great, BUT not all will. If she sees a major disparity she probably won't. (Unless she's super unattractive.)
I'm not saying I'll be passing up easy lays with cool girls. What I'm saying is I never close the door on any girl and may work a little harder on some that aren't so obvious. They're always just an option (unless they're married or with a good friend, for me anyway). Or maybe I just need a challenge. But that's small potatoes because...
4. This event should be a wake-up call for any man not building his life the way he wants it. What's passed through my head over and over: I'm so glad this happened now and not 2-3 years ago. I would have gotten by, but I was still in a period of figuring out what to do, and also in a toxic relationship and a job I'd stayed with a little too long. Of course I broke out of both, flipped over the table and began building the life I wanted: New country, new challenges, the digital nomad life. So even though the pandemic sucks and I'd rather not repeat it, it happened for me at a time and place where I'm happier and have much better direction. That alone made the whole thing more bearable. Had this happened in 2017, I'd be dealing with the stress of lockdown AND more existential stress, and you don't want existential stress during something so morbid. (Of course, I'm blessed that I didn't catch it, nor did anyone in my family...and I've kept my job so far.)
For you gentlemen wondering which path to take in life, what to do about x, y, z...just remember, to thine own self be true. Start making the decisions that you think will make you happy. This is not a dress rehearsal, this is life. Sometimes you'll strike out and that's cool, it'll just get you ready for your next at-bat and you'll know what's coming. And if it's a big decision you're mulling, I can tell you that simply making the choice will relieve you of most of the burden. It's better to push forward and make mistakes than stand in place.
Every thing is the same. Just slower & more boring.