Here is my situation.......

[thirtyandpissed]

Alright guys, straight to the point, I'm 30 and single. And when I say single, I mean I literally have no family either. The holiday season is usually the worst time of the year for me.

I recently moved back to a city I have been living in for about 5 years, after being in a new city for 4 months. During that four month period I was in a dating relationship with a girl.

Being even more alone in a new city caused me to act AFC to the extremem and I pretty much blew a great thing. This girl came onto me from the start, was cute, great in bed, and we both wanted the same things in life.

I couldn't have possibly F'ed up our relationship anymore, we are now 12 hours away from one another, never will probably even talk again after some of the things that have been said.

I have had my share of LTR's in the past, but with this girl I knew, from the beginning it was different.

I am not interested in the least bit with spinning alot of plates, I honestly hate the game, and the girl that I choose to marry, if there is such a person, I don't wanna have to use trickery to keep her around.

So my question really is, WTF am i supposed to do with myself, I am all whoa is me sorry for myself, but the bottom line is, I let "the one" get away by my own doing and I just don't know how to recover from that.

 

[f283000]

but the bottom line is, I let "the one" get away by my own doing and I just don't know how to recover from that.

You need to grow up. This is nothing more than afc/immature thinking.

How do you know she was the one? Cause you dated her for a measly 4 months? Cause you were just so "sure" yet this ended after only 4 months? plzz

How do you know a woman is the one? When she puts up with any trouble that comes in the way and sticks by you to the point you two are sitting on a couch one day looking down as your grandkids are playing with toys. That's when you know she's the one that was meant for you.

A girl you were in a 4 month relationship with that's not the one. That's just another girlfriend of many you will have. The one sticks by her man no matter what.

Try not to put so much weight unto your relationships. I know it's difficult as women can make us feel in heaven but for your own sanity stop thinking in terms of "she is or might be the one" and just concentrate on having fun with her (and spin plates).

 

[Iceberg]

Now, as far as the girl issues go, if you don't want to be something that you're not(a ****y/funny jerk that spins plates and isnt honest with women), date a chick that is significantly beneath you in value:

A - That's TERRIBLE advice. How are you supposed to maintain a relationship with a person while knowing that you could be banging better women? Ambitious people can't live like that. "Mary's not that hot, but she treats me right." This is someone you're banging. Not a 1999 Honda Civic.

Maybe you've been hurt too many times by pretty chicks - I haven't. And they're not all selfish b**ches. All a man needs to understand is when to push and when to pull. I've definitely banged a few below-standards women, but to have a RELATIONSHIP with one? Hell no.

You need to grow up. This is nothing more than afc/immature thinking.

How do you know she was the one? Cause you dated her for a measly 4 months? Cause you were just so "sure" yet this ended after only 4 months? plzz

B - You are absolutely right. He had a girl, she was cute, gave him sex, and treated him well enough. Now that he can't have her, he's elevated her to "The One"....as if there really is a "one". Fairytales.

To answer his "WTF am I supposed to do with myself" question...You're supposed to move on, heal, grow, and stop acting like you're the first person on Earth to feel pain. You don't want to spin plates? You hate the game? You don't want to use trickery? Listen, you're in this game whether you want it or not. It started when you were born. And you can either play (i.e., be a man and drop the illusion of "The One") or you can get played (keep telling yourself that every current girlfriend is a "One"). Oh and it's not "trickery". It's being a man.

 

[Kailex]

I am so confused about what is going on in the OP's post.

You are at a new city now?
Or you were at a new city and you moved back to where you from originally?

And about this girl... what was said?

You need to be a little more detailed.


And please, cut the "cry for me" crap to a minimum.
I moved to a new city 3 years ago with NO family and only had my g/f at the time.

We broke up and I had to go live on my own. ALL of my family and friends are in another COUNTRY. So what if you don't have anyone for Christmas? Start making friends. Stop depending on your social circle being composed of just one person. If you knew more people, you wouldn't be shedding a tear on these forums. It's time to go join a gym, meet some guys there. It's time to go out and hit popular venues like a book store, mall, or Panera bread. Meet some women there.

All I see is a post about "The universe conspires against me" but I see no will to improve from you other than the fact that you are posting here.

What happened with the girl?
What was said?
What is your current living situation?

 

[Iceberg]

If all you care about in life is sex then maybe it is inconcievable to "settle" for a less attractive chick. I just want someone that is low maintenence tha I can stand to be around personality wise. I have other things to accomplish.

That's all anyone wants.

I don't think anyone intentionally goes out with the mantra of "I want a high maintenance bi*ch with a terrible personality." Some guys end up with that, of course. But there are plenty of guys dating attractive women with fine personalities.

It's not just about sex. You're oversimplifying it to justify your own...decisions. It's like a janitor telling a CEO that life isn't all about money. Of course it's not, but if you CAN do better for yourself, then why sell yourself short?