Here is a brain picker for the gurus

[midnight]

okay so I've been seeing this gal for 3 weeks. She is awesome in the sack. Well one day she was riding me, dripping wet. She obviously wanted it. She tells me she cums more with me than with any other guy. But anyways she was on top and well I was kinda thinking to myself God you're going to be hard to break up with when the time comes... lol Anyways all of a sudden she got off from on top of me and put her clothes on and said she wanted to go home. She kept apologizing etc... So I consoled her a little and it came out that she was asking me where is this going are you interested in sex or do you really like me?... Anyways I told her the truth. That I liked her and wanna see her more. She ended taking her cloths back off and staying. We even had some awesome morning sex. Now however, she is really distant and doesn't really wanna hang out. I can tell something is up. She told me she is really shy toward me cus she likes me so much. Yet at the same time I don't want to call her so much and smother her with attention. Any ideas how to approach the situation?

 

[Joe Stud]

relax. sit back and contimue to be a mystery. you are doing fine.

 

[WhitePimp]

Yeah, if you didn't do anything to warrant her being a retard then don't worry about it and continue plowing away. It's suicide to get sucked into their crazy head games

 

[ENIGMA16]

She stopped during sex. This is your first warning sign.

She demanded that you clarify "how you feel about her". This is your second warning sign.

You supplicated and told her what she wanted to hear. You basically handed your balls to her. The reason she is being so distant is because now that she has you she doesn't get as much attraction out of you; when someone knows that they can have something they aren't as satisfied by it because it's not special.

Girls are weird by that; they are very contradictory, because their brain isn't constructed around logic but rather emotion. She needs a commitment out of you out of a desire to consolidate the relationship that is necessary for bearing children (historically/anthropologically speaking here; I'm not saying she wanted to actually have kids with you, but rather that is where this idea developed from) but also derives attraction from value, and when you supplicate and hand your balls to a woman you are giving up your value (or at least a lot of it). So it's really a catch 22, but in the long run the short term attraction to value will almost all cases overcome the historically borne necessity for having a monogamous relationship, simply because that's how humans work.

What you should have done is skirted around the question, and if she demanded an answer and threatened to leave then tell her to go and that it doesn't matter to you, because it shouldn't. You just needed to stand your ground and you'd be in a much better position.

Now you have to play damage control.

 

[Allurre]

She wants to you to actually air our more of your emotions towards her, to be more expressive -- which I guess is what you're lacking.

However, don't cave in. Always be a bit hard to get here and there. Keep her guessing, but don't behave heartlessly around her either.

 

[zekko]

She stopped during sex. This is your first warning sign.

She demanded that you clarify "how you feel about her". This is your second warning sign.

Stopping during sex isn't so great, but I don't see the second part as a warning sign. Don't people on this forum constantly say to let the woman worry about and bring up the idea of a relationship? That's what she's doing here.

Everyone seems to be saying don't share your emotions with her (hold back, be masculine, a challenge, and a mystery, I guess). But let me offer a different view. I've been reading Daniel Rose's Sex God Method lately. He actually advocates sharing emotionally with a woman (during sex, specifically) and telling her how you feel about her, how much you love her, etc. (even if you're not exclusive). He says that if you don't fulfill the woman emotionally, she will go find someone who will. Which could explain one reason why you see the AFC end up with the girl so often, while all the "alphas" are being emotionally distant and unavailable.

 

[ENIGMA16]

Yeah I guess that makes sense. In fact, I made a post similar to that in an earlier thread a few days ago, so I don't know why I said what I did above.

You can disregard it somewhat.

 

[Brighty]

She stopped during sex. This is your first warning sign.

Agreed.

She demanded that you clarify "how you feel about her". This is your second warning sign.

You supplicated and told her what she wanted to hear. You basically handed your balls to her. The reason she is being so distant is because now that she has you she doesn't get as much attraction out of you; when someone knows that they can have something they aren't as satisfied by it because it's not special.

What you should have done is skirted around the question, and if she demanded an answer and threatened to leave then tell her to go and that it doesn't matter to you, because it shouldn't. You just needed to stand your ground and you'd be in a much better position

I have to disagree here. I think that dodging the question would've set off warning lights in her head and probably just have left you. I think she's a decent girl who's worried that she's just a bootycall and maybe the answer the OP gave her came across to her as just lying to her. I think she's distant now because she's probably thinking a few things over and she's having second thoughts about if you were genuine or if you just wanted her to get back ontop of you (P.S. mission accomplished ). It depends on how you feel about this girl and how you feel about playing her. You can lay it out for her and tell her you want her to be fvckbuddies, which would probably be the honest thing to do, but there's a chance of it backfiring. You can reassure her that you have feelings for her and keep this going, if you have no morale qualms with playing her. Or you can just drop it and pretend it never happened and cross your fingers that the sex will keep coming.

Either way, you're fine and the ball's in your court. You didn't do anything wrong, she's still receptive to you, she's just self-conscious right now.

 

[Kailex]

Is it just me or does it seem like she threw a test at him... albeit a very weird one.

Did she really use sex just to get an answer out of him?

Because that's what it looked like to me. As soon as he gave her the response she "wanted to hear" she took her clothes off again and got back in bed with him???

But then she became distant?

Are we missing parts of the story or is this girl borderline nuts?

I'd say, don't put too much stock into this girl and just keep doing whatever it was you were doing before all of the awkwardness.

It just seems, though, that she used a poon power play on you.

 

[The Decay of Meaning]

She seems like she tested you a bit in your commitment, but I really think this girl is very insecure about herself and restless. Might not be the best girl to end up in a relationship with, IMHO.

I would go the middle way here; make her understand you like her (which you do) and that you are emotionally attached to her to a sometwhat vague degree, but don't go overboard.

By the way, could it be that she is with another guy and she got a guilt trip?

 

[DJDeMarco32]

HAHAHAHA,

DO NOT CALL HER EVER AGAIN. There are more than three billion women on the planet.

You handed over to her, on a platter, the POWER she desperately wanted by bowing down for a decent piece of tail.

As soon as she jumped off the pony u should have been showing her the door.

If You were the best dude she was screwing at the time, she would not have jumped off. WHO DOES THAT!

She's playing u. Ask and ye shall receive.

DeMarco

 

[Warrior74]

I had a chic stop in the middle of sex once and ask me for a key to my apartment. Talk about boner killer. She was just some hoodrat chic, so I told her to get dressed and took her ass home. Never said a word the entire time. She kept asking me was I mad, I wouldn't say anything. I was livid. A few days later she called me and wanted to come over and fvcked me like a champion. But then she kept whining about where was this going and eventually blew out. Girls come, and they go. They don't stick around forever unless you commit in some way, that's just part of the game.

 

[midnight]

She seems like she tested you a bit in your commitment, but I really think this girl is very insecure about herself and restless. Might not be the best girl to end up in a relationship with, IMHO.

I would go the middle way here; make her understand you like her (which you do) and that you are emotionally attached to her to a sometwhat vague degree, but don't go overboard.

By the way, could it be that she is with another guy and she got a guilt trip?

Actually the conversation we had that night was more encompassing. She is actually a pretty intelligent girl and has been in a 5 year relationship. She had a rebound guy last year and now voila me. Accordingly she claims not to be seeing anyone else. She has admitted that she feels somewhat vulnerable and that she has shown interest to guys just for sex in the past. In any event its been a while for her and -I somewhat believe her- though I'm taking a somewhat candid approach toward getting to know her. By candid I mean I don't ask her a bunch of direct questions but rather chat with her colloquially asking her opinions on certain aspects of relationships. (don't think this is that much of a center on our conversations though). Another approach I'm taking is that of a skeptic. I don't see myself too disappointed if I'm wrong about what I think about her. aka slow to hire quick to fire (emotionally).

UPDATE: so my decision was not to call her and what did she do? Well she asked me to come over to pick something up. Well she came over alright. And forgot what she came over to pick up. She did pick up something else... My big c0ck in her mouth got texts today telling me I can have her whenever I want however I want. She also wants to take me to a sex toy store.

I'd rate her 7.5 (5 being average)

What lesson have I learned so far? :::

Fundamental push pull theory. When she came over I let her make all the moves and I acted sexually uninterested. This was in response to me sensing a distant attitude toward me. While the truth was I was aching for her I didn't let that come out until after about an hour of her being over and she made the first move. She initiated a hard make out session and by the time we were done and I touched her vag under her mini skirt, she was completely soaked as well as her g string. I found out she likes it really rough which was some of the best phuck1n I've ever had.

Energy conservation: knowing when not to put fourth effort in pursuit of women prevents a lot of heart ache and emotional distress. Its good to have an "it is what it is" attitude. Anticipate the possibility of disappointment. This is where my shyness works to my advantage. I guess what could be considered a personal flaw can become an asset. I still have much to learn however. I'm going to miami beach next week. We'll see what happens. I'm curious to see how my lack of sexual desperation will be picked up by some of the beach babes.


your responses are much appreciated

 

[DonGorgon]

this is simple... ur giving her too much attention and ur falling for her which is turning her off.... so just disconnect go f some other hos and make her wonder WTF? is up ... don't ask her to be u girl and don't treat her special...

 

[midnight]

Is it just me or does it seem like she threw a test at him... albeit a very weird one.

Did she really use sex just to get an answer out of him?

Because that's what it looked like to me. As soon as he gave her the response she "wanted to hear" she took her clothes off again and got back in bed with him???

But then she became distant?

Are we missing parts of the story or is this girl borderline nuts?

I'd say, don't put too much stock into this girl and just keep doing whatever it was you were doing before all of the awkwardness.

It just seems, though, that she used a poon power play on you.

Actually during our conversation after she hopped off me, I firmly told her several times if she feels really uncomfortable, she really should go. I probably should have included that... Thats probably got something to do with why she ended up staying and me ****ing her again in the morning. And yet later following up with a text how great I was. The distance thing happened probably after (in her mind) she texted. For the record she later wanted to come over 2 days later after and we ended up doing it.