"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Her First

Guitarist19

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K so i just asked out this girl - Shes never had a boyfriend and she has never kissed before or any of that stuff - im just wondering for her first kiss what should i do? Ive had my first kiss but i know to a girl their firsts are more important then ours in a way - so where would be a good place to take her -

Heres also some facts
- She Can Drive
- Shes pretty shy
- I cant drive

so any suggestions or ideas??
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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AdrenalynJunkee

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Just have a random, ungeneric 'date' with her. At a sort of climactic moment, where theres lots of kino, flirting, just sort of lean in a little ways (about 75%) and then let her do the rest of the work. About the kiss, it shouldn't be one of those "OMG I'm horny and want you now" type. Leave it at the soft, smooth kiss. Gentle does it. After a good couple seconds, slowly pull back. Chances are, if she liked it, she'll sort of lean into you when you pull back.
 

TonyTheTigerOI

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FIRST... go on an action date. Shes inexperienced so compliments will help relax her. Then, as the night winds down, take her somewhere romantic... maybe lay on a blanket in a park, or sit close to eachother by a fire pit... anything ud think would be a nice memory. Just keep playfully teasing her, send her some indicators of interest (kino, strong eye contact, look at her lips every now and again). She prolly wont know what to do, so SLOWLY wrap your arm around her and lean close, again, eyecontact and looking at lips, then use youre other hand to tilt her chin towards you and she'll definately have the idea.

Kiss her as softly and steadily as you can. Make sure youre lips are wet, but dont slober on her (no tongue). Pull away after a few seconds, smile and make eyecontact, then look @ her lips again... chances are she'll lean in for more.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Bunk 040

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Just f(_)cking kiss her, it aint that hard playa.
 

Guitarist19

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Originally posted by Bunk 040
Just f(_)cking kiss her, it aint that hard playa.
no **** - didnt you read my post - its her first kiss i dont want it to be something she wishes could have been better/more romanitic/ etc
 

LongDrinkofWater

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Don't overanalyze what you think she'll be thinking. If you follow TonytheTiger's suggestions, she'll know what's up. I was in a similar situation a long time ago, wondering and waiting for just the right moment. Wondering and waiting for the right moment was bad. I finally just grabbed my balls so to speak, and went for it (my AFCness was still in full swing back then). I was quickly rendered speechless when she said "I was wondering when you were going to do that!"
Turned out to be a much better night than I had anticipated... :-D

Just be smooth and without reservation or hesitation.....
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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TonyTheTigerOI

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I didnt say it was a big deal. I just said he should go on an action date and then when thats thru go somewhere quieter. "Just do it" is ****ty advice, btw. Shes supposed to "wonder when youre gonna do it" thats the whole ****ing point.

Luv - no one gives a **** what you think. Maybe youre first kiss sucked... but girls LOVE the story of my first kiss, and most enjoy telling their own story as well. Dont ruin some lil girls chance at having a nice memory because you chose a bad kisser.
 

Guitarist19

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i like how you said that^^^ but weather is starting to get really shi*ty here - any other date suggestions?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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iCY

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take her somewhere with a nice view
 

TonyTheTigerOI

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Movies are great FIRST DATES. As long as preceded and followed with conversation. Also... you should be talking durin the movie. And you should ALWAYS be nonverbally communicating. I would not suggest a movie for someone you dont know too well, though. About 1-2 hrs of sarge time is required prior to the movie.
 

chill

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the movie would probably work well in your situation. you said she was shy, so she probably watches a decent amout of movies. because of this she probably has the mind set where on the first date there will be a romantic kiss of sorts. and if you go to a movie there will be some action in it (the action part of the date) and at some part the romantic kiss, which is an opporyune time to move in. so, in my opinion, the movie would be good. and dont write me off cause you think im new, ive been here for 9-10 months
 
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