Her ex is doing all the right things

[cNfny]

1. Acting completely indifferent (according to her he is towards everything)
2. Tells me he never says he misses her or tries contact, ignores her attempts or is real brief.
3. Found out he's dating someone already.

Number 3 really bothered her she told me that he should be sad because she ended it.
My response was "uh oh is it working? You better call and get him back ASAP hurry up!"

This is an ex that she claimed to be a complete bore, unmotivated, non affectionate, etc. Yet his actions I can tell are having an effect.

What do I do in my position as the new guy to tear down the "right" things to do as an ex to win her back that he's doing?

 

[muscleman]

What do I do in my position as the new guy to tear down the "right" things to do as an ex to win her back that he's doing?

1, 2, 3

 

[Blackhole105]

What do I do in my position as the new guy to tear down the "right" things to do as an ex to win her back that he's doing?

How do you know he's trying to win her back?

You said he was dating someone else, so in reality he may just have forgotten about her and moved on. I don't think he trying to win her back, I think your gf is just insecure that her ex doesn't seem to care about her anymore and has gotten over her easily.

 

[Bible_Belt]

It's not him; it's her. She obviously still has feelings for him. No worries, though, just make her have stronger feelings for you.

 

[cNfny]

Good points. I just feel that if he in fact did just move on quickly and his neglegence from it is coming off as the "right things" that she'll act on them in terms of trying to get him or his attention back. What then?

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I am implementing 1, 2, and 3 to a woman right now and I am on day 3 of it. This will be a good experiment and I am very interested to see if it works.

3 days is actually the longest no contact since I met her. That was a big mistake.

 

[DJDamage]

How do you know he's trying to win her back?

You said he was dating someone else, so in reality he may just have forgotten about her and moved on. I don't think he trying to win her back, I think your gf is just insecure that her ex doesn't seem to care about her anymore and has gotten over her easily.

What do I do in my position as the new guy to tear down the "right" things to do as an ex to win her back that he's doing?

There is little that you can do. All indications point to the fact that she is still not over him and you may be the rebound guy. I suggest that you don't put too much emphasis on this girl for the long term until she proves otherwise. In the meantime do what he is doing and go out with other girls while keeping this one part of the rotation.

 

[JeeperCane]

Good points. I just feel that if he in fact did just move on quickly and his neglegence from it is coming off as the "right things" that she'll act on them in terms of trying to get him or his attention back. What then?

Then you do the same things and move on to someone else.

 

[bukowski_merit]

yeah i can relate, one of the girls i talk to has an off again on again relationship with a guy, and his game is real strong... she's constantly saying stuff like 'one day he's going to wake up and realize what he lost in me'... which makes me crack up because i wonder how many girls are saying that about me who i forgot last year? so with her - i basically treat her the same way she complains about her man treating her - but just add in the element of my sense of humor and other parts of my game. she's mine when i want her...

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Be the better man without proving your the better man..that will keep her hooked.

 

[The Deacon]

Women respond better to jealousy than anything else, including physical attraction. Just take charge of your woman, and this ex of hers is just gonna be a stupid fantasy she'll get over. Don't take charge in a really creepy/scary way though =).

 

[Heart Break Kid]

It's her. You're framing it in your own view. 1, 2, and 3 are all the standard behaviors of someone who's moved on.

 

[tsmith2334]

It's her. You're framing it in your own view. 1, 2, and 3 are all the standard behaviors of someone who's moved on.

I respectfully disagree. Even if 1-3 occur, I don't think the new guy should know about it like he does.

 

[Heart Break Kid]

I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say. Everything he says relates to what she has told him or how bothered she is due to her interpretation of the circumstances. This whole perception of him "acting" this way or that is powerfully intertwined with her frame of mind and beliefs. The post suggests everything TC knows about him comes from his girlfriend and her subjective view the matter. The fact she discovered he was going out with someone else seems rather obsessive too. Tsmith, if I misunderstood you please do go into greater detail. I can't see how his knowing "about it like he does" sufficiently proves her ex wants her back.

All I'm saying is it doesn't sound like he's trying to win her back at all, as TC concluded in his second post. Ironically I'd say indifference to this would be the best response. I'm not quite sure why you're letting her go on about this with you when you're time is precious.

 

[tsmith2334]

I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say. Everything he says relates to what she has told him or how bothered she is due to her interpretation of the circumstances. This whole perception of him "acting" this way or that is powerfully intertwined with her frame of mind and beliefs. The post suggests everything TC knows about him comes from his girlfriend and her subjective view the matter. The fact she discovered he was going out with someone else seems rather obsessive too. Tsmith, if I misunderstood you please do go into greater detail. I can't see how his knowing "about it like he does" sufficiently proves her ex wants her back.

All I'm saying is it doesn't sound like he's trying to win her back at all, as TC concluded in his second post. Ironically I'd say indifference to this would be the best response. I'm not quite sure why you're letting her go on about this with you when you're time is precious.

Oh ok. We were looking at the OP differently. I read it as the female wanting the ex again because of his indifference. I believe you read it as the male being indifferent and not wanting the ex. Essentially the same thing from two different viewpoints.

I thought the concern was the woman being interested in being back with the ex (and being attracted to his indifference).