"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Help!

D

danslenoir

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So tonight is the first "date" date I've had in a long, long time. I'm 23, but previous hookups have been more through friends etc, this date has been lined up through a dating site.

Anyway, I feel incredibly rusty and a bit of a pep talk would be much appreciated! I'm gonna take her to a little pub on a canal somewhere close to where we both live which hopefully won't be too busy on a Sun night.

What I'd really like to know is whether to go for the first date kiss or not? I've heard so much conflicting opinion on this. Also, she has never met anyone from the internet before so I'm guessing she might be a bit shy/weirded out by the whole experience. Any way of telling whether I'd be better going for it or holding off?

We've (bad idea I know) exhausted lots of convo topics through quite lengthly IM chats so I hope I don't run out of things to say. Things to look out for to indicate whether she is interested or not?

Cheers!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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I

Igetit!

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Hey,congrats on the date man.This is a loaded question you've asked.It would be helpful to have more information,like how long you have known each other,how often you 2 have communicated,what sort of vibe are you feeling,etc.
 
D

danslenoir

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Mmmm I messaged her for the first time about a week ago, maybe slightly longer. We've been having some quite lengthly IM conversations since then (one until 4am!). Vibes have generally been good, but I guess it's hard to be sure.

Just called her for the first time to sort out time/place etc for tonight and it was a little awkward as such things invariably are but I'm sure it will be better in person, especially with a glass of wine or two :)
 
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