"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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help...

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shock

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Went on a date with this girl. It was awesome. High IL, a kiss, really fun night..great girl. The following day she got in a really bad car accident, almost dies. She was in ICu for 2 weeks. I went and saw her when I could, brought her a card, and left my ipod there for her to listen to. The only times I'd here from her was when I visitied. Well I texted her the other day, and she said she's out of the hospital.

I have been trying to make small talk with her like, "how are you feeling?" Nothing serious, not asking to see her, nothing. Sadly, i haven't been hearing back from her much. I'd wait a few days..say nothing to her, and then I'd try to call her or something. No answer, nothing. We talked about everyday before her accident. I'm hoping she's just trying to get her life back together. How can i support her without being all clingy and ****??
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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aliasguy

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shock said:
Went on a date with this girl. It was awesome. High IL, a kiss, really fun night..great girl. The following day she got in a really bad car accident, almost dies. She was in ICu for 2 weeks. I went and saw her when I could, brought her a card, and left my ipod there for her to listen to. The only times I'd here from her was when I visitied. Well I texted her the other day, and she said she's out of the hospital.

I have been trying to make small talk with her like, "how are you feeling?" Nothing serious, not asking to see her, nothing. Sadly, i haven't been hearing back from her much. I'd wait a few days..say nothing to her, and then I'd try to call her or something. No answer, nothing. We talked about everyday before her accident. I'm hoping she's just trying to get her life back together. How can i support her without being all clingy and ****??
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Wow. Very unusual situation. I'm not sure if the normal conventional wisdom of this site even applies in this case. Obviously, this poor girl has a lot of sh*t on her plate right now. You're right to keep any contact very light.

Additionally, people who sustain even moderate head injuries can have significant personality changes. She may have simply lost any feelings for you, through no fault of yours, even if she was really into you before.

She's been through a HUGE thing here. I think your attitude is about right. You obviously care.

I'd back way off. If she's still interested, you'll find out. Don't think so much about "supporting" her. You've made your concern for her known. That's enough, unless she responds. I know you miss her, and maybe you feel left out of the group that's her main support right now (probably her family.) But just hang WAY back. Give this time.

And, as others would say, in the meantime, spin more plates.

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muscleman

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I don't see why you're worrying so much about supporting this girl you only went on 1 date with. No offense, but it's really not your business. You have no involvement with her. Yes it's nice that you visited her and it's very unfortunate what happened, but beyond that there's nothing you should do.

Though .. your story seems to lack in detail. First you say "we talked every day" then you say you went on "a date" and I'm assuming it was the 1 and only date.

Anyway, unless you were in an LTR with her or have known each other and been in contact for a prolonged period of time, I would leave her be. She's got enough on her plate right now and if she's interested in you she'll let you know. Move on with your own life and don't think about it.
 
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yama600rr

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leave her alone for awhile, obviously she doesnt want to talk to you for now! she almost died dude. avoid contact and call her later on
 
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shock

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I think your guy's advice is right on. Thanks for that. This is definately an obscure situation, but i am definately over thinking it. I've done what i can, and now it's up to her.

I guess I just don't see how or what I fuked up. I am a very analytical person. If something happens, I want to know why. Thanks again guys, any more advice is def appreciated.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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My Name is Nobody

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IMO this could be bad for you shock. Because she had this accident RIGHT after she went out with YOU, she may associate the accident to you and may not want to get together with you again. It's a psychological thing.
 
Poonani Maker

Poonani Maker

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^ Yeah, I've had women associate the smell of fast food from a Taco Bell in the air at 1 AM to talking/speaking with me. Women are so swayed by the environment. Nothings Ever their fault. It's all Your fault. If it's bad weather, it's Your fault.
 
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Last Man Standing

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Be a man and get your IPOD back!! Call her and say, "I know you almost died, but can I have my tech gadget returned?" A "Thank you" from her for you giving her tunes would be nice!!
 
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aliasguy

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Last Man Standing said:
Be a man and get your IPOD back!! Call her and say, "I know you almost died, but can I have my tech gadget returned?" A "Thank you" from her for you giving her tunes would be nice!!
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HAHAHA!!!
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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aliasguy

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I'm laughing 'CAUSE it's true!

"Only the truth is funny."!!!
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Lexie

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Wow, I can't believe how great you've been! After only one date, I'd say you don't own her anything, but it was super sweet of you to check on her. She may just need space to recoup right now. I'd say leave her a flower with your number tied to it with a little msg that says something like "call me when you're feeling up to it, I love to hear how you're doing!" This lets her know you're still interested, but she gets to make the call. Don't smother her or force her to see you. Whatever happens was not you fault.
 
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