Help!!!!

coastnthru

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There is a girl who I'm deeply in love with. We have been off and on for about 6 months. We spent New Year's weekend together and went out once after that. Then about 2 weeks later she said she just wanted to be friends.She said the feelings for me faded after a few days. Now she told me she doesn't even want to be friends with me and does not want me to contact her. Any advice on how to atleast get her back ? I'm 32 and she's 33 almost 34
 

Mind_Body_Soul

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Is this post legit? Oh man... if I had a nickle for every one of these.

You're gonna get the same advice from anyone on here. There are zillions of threads on this site. But I'll give you some pointers (keep in mind it's probably OVER and you should move on)

1. Cut off all communication with her.
2. Start seeing other women.
3. Make yourself busy.
4. Make sure she knows you're moving on with your life.

Oh and if you seriously have any hope at all to get her back. Do the above. Don't break down and text her or call her to "talk". MOVE ON. It's the only way to POSSIBLY salvage it. Stop being a little wussy (as David D would say).


Read the bible on this site. Search for it you'll find it. Start searching threads. There is plenty of material to digest.

Welcome.
 

coastnthru

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yes

unfortunately it is legit, thanks

I welcome anyother thoughts on this subject
 

grinder

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Mind_Body_Soul said:
Is this post legit? Oh man... if I had a nickle for every one of these.

You're gonna get the same advice from anyone on here. There are zillions of threads on this site. But I'll give you some pointers (keep in mind it's probably OVER and you should move on)

1. Cut off all communication with her.
2. Start seeing other women.
3. Make yourself busy.
4. Make sure she knows you're moving on with your life.

Oh and if you seriously have any hope at all to get her back. Do the above. Don't break down and text her or call her to "talk". MOVE ON. It's the only way to POSSIBLY salvage it. Stop being a little wussy (as David D would say).


Read the bible on this site. Search for it you'll find it. Start searching threads. There is plenty of material to digest.

Welcome.
What MBS says.

Any other thoughts may have lots of ********* in them.
 

DJDamage

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Mind_Body_Soul said:
1. Cut off all communication with her.
2. Start seeing other women.
3. Make yourself busy.
4. Make sure she knows you're moving on with your life.
This advice is spot on what this site is advocating.

coastnthru said:
unfortunately it is legit, thanks

I welcome anyother thoughts on this subject
You are not going to get a a whole lot of advice that is deviant from what MBS said, you are obviously looking for the holliest of grail answer that will lead you right to her heart... well I got news for you SNAP OUT OF IT. This is sosuave not girlproblem.com. Its one thing when a woman tells you its over due to low interests but most women will at least warm to the idea of you being friends with them (which is strongly advocated not too since you are just serving another purpose which doesn't help your case). The fact that she has such low interest in you that she doesn't even want to see you ever again is a sign clearer then water that its time to let this one go.
 

Mind_Body_Soul

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coastnthru,

Whether it seems like it or not, almost everyone on this board has been where you are and we know what you want to hear. As DJDamage says, you are looking for the "holy grail answer".

Unfortunately, due to your own actions mostly, you are in a situation where the girl no longer feels attraction for you. This isn't a computer that you can just do x y and z and have it fix the problem. There is nothing you can say to her that will help the issue.

We are trying to save you time and heartache by giving you the best advice possible. As they would say on here, GFTOW (go fvck ten other women) and then see whether you still feel the same way about this one.
 

STR8UP

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To loosely quote the movie Swingers-

"There's nothing you can make her do to want you. You can only do things to make her NOT want you"

Great quote (and sooooo true) from a great movie.
 

Bible_Belt

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The moving on with your life makes her jealous, which coincidentally is the best chance of ever getting her back. Give up on her and she will want you. But if not, you won't care; it works out either way.
 

MacAvoy

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coastnthru said:
I welcome anyother thoughts on this subject
Mind_Body_Soul said:
But I'll give you some pointers (keep in mind it's probably OVER and you should move on)

1. Cut off all communication with her.
2. Start seeing other women.
3. Make yourself busy.
4. Make sure she knows you're moving on with your life.

Oh and if you seriously have any hope at all to get her back. Do the above. Don't break down and text her or call her to "talk". MOVE ON. It's the only way to POSSIBLY salvage it. Stop being a little wussy (as David D would say)
If you seriously want her back, this is what you have to do. The hard part is you can't fake it either. You have to really move on if you want her to want you. Its the only way, the good thing is, you will move on regardless.
 

speed dawg

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coastnthru said:
There is a girl who I'm deeply in love with. We have been off and on for about 6 months. We spent New Year's weekend together and went out once after that. Then about 2 weeks later she said she just wanted to be friends.She said the feelings for me faded after a few days. Now she told me she doesn't even want to be friends with me and does not want me to contact her. Any advice on how to atleast get her back ? I'm 32 and she's 33 almost 34
This has got to be fake. I mean, he didn't even give us any specific circumstances. I guess it could come from emotional overload. We've all been there before. Or, it could be that these type posts all look the same after you read 3000 of them. But, the solution to your problem is to erase this chick from your memory.
 

kyphan

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speed dawg said:
This has got to be fake. I mean, he didn't even give us any specific circumstances. I guess it could come from emotional overload. We've all been there before. Or, it could be that these type posts all look the same after you read 3000 of them.
Fake? With the handle "coastnthru"? Naaaaaah....
 

WaterTiger

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I made this post a couple years ago, but it fits this thread:

When she says "Goodbye"


It breaks my heart everytime I see one of you guys post a "How do I get her back?" thread. The saddest thing is you probably didn't even do anything wrong. Let me tell you something that might help you move on. She ain't coming back. She's already made up her mind and cut the ties. It's not fair, it's not pretty, but the truth rarely is. Here's a few items that may help explain things.

Women think about their relationship 90% of the time.


Especially since we are told from the cradle that men don't understand a damn thing about love & relationships. We wonder where the relationship is going, where it is, where it was and about every possible direction it can go. She thinks about you as a potential husband, father, lover and will you dump her if she gets cancer. She'll question you IL ever second you're with her, and more so when you're not.

Women NEVER forget...never, never, ever!


You said something as a joke, she SAID she's fine with it and that should be your first warning. In "Woman-speak" the word FINE is defines like this F-furious I-inside N-never E-ending. She will be dragging crap up from thirty years ago to throw in your face now. (Does this mean walk on egg shells to prevent upsetting her? Hell no! But when she says she's "fine" with something and you suspect otherwise CALL HER ON IT. Tell her (don't ask, TELL HER): "So you're REALLY all right with this. You aren't pissed at me, and you aren't going to drag this up later. Is that right?." If she says yes, then don't tolerate her dragging up that item. She agreed she was fine with it and would move on from it.

Women don't like to hurt your feelings.


Really! We really don't like hurting you. That's why the "I think we should break up" line always hits you from out of left field. You never saw it coming, because she never mentioned two weeks ago that she was thinking about it. She didn't want to hurt your feelings. This is especially true if she thinks it wasn't your fault for the break up. (ie...she met some one else, she's having personal problems) This is also why we go to Car Shows (BORING!) and Monster Truck Rallys (LOUD and BORING) then tell you how much fun we had with a big grin!

When she says it's over, IT'S OVER.


By the time she decides it's over, it's over. She has thought up 197 reasons that you two shouldn't be together any more. She has cut the ties and made herself ready to move on. The only thing left to do is tell you. The more you hang on, stay in touch, & try to "win" her back the more fuel you give to her reasoning. The best thing you can do is kiss her on the nose and say: "Well Babe, it was fun while it lasted. Good luck!" and walk away. This doesn't mean she just didn't rip you heart out of your chest and stomp it to a greasy spot on the carpet. It just means that nothing else you can say will help the situation. Not pleading, not screaming and not threats. Don't call, don't write, don't e-mail, don't hire a 25 piece band to play her favorite song in her front yard. Walk away and let it go.
 

joekerr31

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oh you have GOT to be f*cking joking me.

women don't want to hurt your feelings? women most of the time dont know what the f*ck they want. nor do they generally handle situations tactfully or maturely.

women typically are thinkign about themselves. and when they dump a guy they often blame HIM for it - whether hes done something wrong or not.

i agree though. if a woman even brings up the idea of a break its done.

women don't hide it from you because they dont want to hurt your feelings. they hide it from youb ecause they are scared to tell you. they hide it because they've crafted (yes, CRAFTED) a image of who they are, and what they are about to do flies in the face of many things they have even just recently said and done with you.

see, women lie (by omission admitly) during the initial stages of a relationship - when they are interested in the guy.

then when they go to break up, their behavior makes no sense when you compared it to past behavior. THAT is why it comes out of left field. and the reason women take SOOOO long to tell you is that they KNOW that when they drop the bomb the glaring contradiction in reality between who they were with you and who they have suddenly become will hit you like a ton of bricks.

at the end of the day women are cowards. heck, i have women friends who have been very honest with me and have admitted that - hell yes, women are cowards.

women arent going to ask you out, women aren't going to be clear in what they want, and women aren't going to dump you using the truth. they are chicken sh*t cowards - and the sooner men realize that the sooner it becomes VERY simple to deal with them. they will say they aren't cowards, that its social norms that dont allow them to do these things - BULLSH*T, they are yella through and through.

when they throw hissy fits and try to bust your balls - which i might add they ONLY do AFTER they know you are addicted to the p*ssy - they do it because they live their lives as cowards and it feels good for them to be able to push around someone stronger and not fear the consequences.

thats why men who don't put up with sh*t send women for a a loop. they usually dont know what to do. they either fight back, walk away, or cave. if a woman has high interest in you she will fight, then walk, then come crawling back.

anyway, when a woman walks the absolute worst thing in the world you can do is go chase after her. the ONLY exception to that rule is if you had a good woman and it was YOU who behaved like an idiot.
 

DJDamage

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joekerr31 said:
oh you have GOT to be f*cking joking me.

women don't want to hurt your feelings? women most of the time dont know what the f*ck they want. nor do they generally handle situations tactfully or maturely.

women typically are thinkign about themselves. and when they dump a guy they often blame HIM for it - whether hes done something wrong or not.

i agree though. if a woman even brings up the idea of a break its done.

women don't hide it from you because they dont want to hurt your feelings. they hide it from youb ecause they are scared to tell you. they hide it because they've crafted (yes, CRAFTED) a image of who they are, and what they are about to do flies in the face of many things they have even just recently said and done with you.

see, women lie (by omission admitly) during the initial stages of a relationship - when they are interested in the guy.

then when they go to break up, their behavior makes no sense when you compared it to past behavior. THAT is why it comes out of left field. and the reason women take SOOOO long to tell you is that they KNOW that when they drop the bomb the glaring contradiction in reality between who they were with you and who they have suddenly become will hit you like a ton of bricks.

at the end of the day women are cowards. heck, i have women friends who have been very honest with me and have admitted that - hell yes, women are cowards.

women arent going to ask you out, women aren't going to be clear in what they want, and women aren't going to dump you using the truth. they are chicken sh*t cowards - and the sooner men realize that the sooner it becomes VERY simple to deal with them. they will say they aren't cowards, that its social norms that dont allow them to do these things - BULLSH*T, they are yella through and through.

when they throw hissy fits and try to bust your balls - which i might add they ONLY do AFTER they know you are addicted to the p*ssy - they do it because they live their lives as cowards and it feels good for them to be able to push around someone stronger and not fear the consequences.

thats why men who don't put up with sh*t send women for a a loop. they usually dont know what to do. they either fight back, walk away, or cave. if a woman has high interest in you she will fight, then walk, then come crawling back.

anyway, when a woman walks the absolute worst thing in the world you can do is go chase after her. the ONLY exception to that rule is if you had a good woman and it was YOU who behaved like an idiot.
:up: Couldn't have said it better myself.
 

insidious

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My dear friend! You have received all the answers/wisdom you will ever need in regards to this situation in this short but sweet thread.

You don't win anyone back who doesn't want to be with you.
One day I hope you run into this chick and thank her profusely for not letting yourself lead yourself on in that whole 'let's be friends' charade.
 

STR8UP

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joekerr31 said:
owomen arent going to ask you out, women aren't going to be clear in what they want, and women aren't going to dump you using the truth. they are chicken sh*t cowards - and the sooner men realize that the sooner it becomes VERY simple to deal with them. they will say they aren't cowards, that its social norms that dont allow them to do these things - BULLSH*T, they are yella through and through.
I hate to sound like a hater, but this is 100% true.

Awhile back I had a relationship with a chick (hung out once or twice a week, fukked, no big deal) which I regarded as being casual. She obviously thought a little more of than I did, judging by her actions.

I was in this for several months, then her behavior changed, so I knew something was up.

I went about my business for the next couple of months after that, then one day she emails me explaining that she had started up a long distance relationship with someone back in her hometown, and that she didn't want me to be pi$$ed, blah, blah, blah.

Our "thing" wasn't that big of a deal to me, but I knew she was a little more into the situation than I was, so I was a bit insulted to get an email from her a good couple of months after I knew what was going on.

It's all good, but I still hang with her from time to time and recently one of our mutual friends (female) asked my advice on how to break up with a guy she was seeing. I told her, "No matter what you do, make sure you do it SOON and make sure you are 100% clear about it." She then goes to the chick I was seeing who "broke up with me" via email to ask HER advice on how to do it, and what advice did she give? She told her to TEXT HIM to break up with him. That's right, her advice was to TEXT this guy to tell him that she didn't want to see him anymore!

If that isn't a chicken$hit move, I don't know what is!!
 

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coastnthru said:
There is a girl who I'm deeply in love with. We have been off and on for about 6 months. We spent New Year's weekend together and went out once after that. Then about 2 weeks later she said she just wanted to be friends.She said the feelings for me faded after a few days. Now she told me she doesn't even want to be friends with me and does not want me to contact her. Any advice on how to atleast get her back ? I'm 32 and she's 33 almost 34
HHAHAHAAHHAHA!.. and no im not lauging at you, but at myself.. i have been like this.. a long time!

The first problem is that you two were ON! and the biggest mistake you made was.. that after you were ON... and OFF.. you want to become ON again with her!

GET IT?
 
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