Help with Translation: ******** - English

[Enishi Yukishiro]

Well, let´s begin

I was dating a girl, wich had many problems in her house with her folks and family in general..u know fights and the such. Her mom is a drunk, and her father is a violent fella.
She also works and studies, and takes dance lessons (clasic).
We started to see each other less and less, because we both had obligations (I also have a life u know ) and things in her house where getting really ugly. With each passing day we saw each other less and less, and the phone conversations also suffered the same fate. On the day of my birthday she came, said Hi and left really quick because she had "things to do"... (the fact was she was celous of some girls there, and had problems in her house AGAIN )..
Well I got fed up, and told her everything I had in my mind, and a week later she broke up with me.

please, bear in mind this is a reduced version of the history...

Now, a month later, she calls me and tells me she misses me, that she did that because she was angry, that she loves me with all her heart (she never said that when we where dating) and wants to be with me BUT, she does not want me to get hurt if we start dating again, because her life is still worse, and she is afraid her situation might hurt my feelings


Ok, I really like the girl, and I would love to start dating her again, for now I´m playing it cool, but I don´t know if WTF is she REALLY saying..
Another issue is I´m dating other girls, but I think I have a case of oneitis with this particular girl...

Any help would be welcome.

PD: Sorry for my english, I´m from Argentina... and I don´t feel like checking the post for mistakes (ouch, I rechecked!)

 

[zimzum]

I should post my mathematical model of women's interest level...

just one tip...BEWARE OF GIRLS WITH INCONSISTENT BEHAVIOUR.... YOU CANT KNOW THEIR REAL IL NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER...

 

[NRM]

Girls with high interest level don't lose touch and will make time for you. Girls with high interest level make an effort to be with you. Girls with high interest level don't break off the relationship.

When people say that they are breaking up with you because they don't want to hurt you, it's bullshit, because no girl would give a person up because they like them too much. If you like somebody, you stick with them like hot rice until they let you go.

Now about this situation, her interest level goes up and down and her behavior is very strange. I don't think it's worth it. When a girl breaks up with you, you let them go and never give them a second chance because naturally, they'll think they'll be able to break up with you and come back whenever they want.

From my standpoint, she either wants a boyfriend (generic), someone to be there for her (anybody), and someone she knows will stay with her (you, since you didn't leave her last time). It's a dangerous list of choices.

As for oneitis, there are a billion "the ones." Go find the next one, trust me, it'll be better in the end. Besides, a girl with a lot of issues at home is bound to have some issues out of home. You might not see it now, but it'll come up eventually.

But of course, you are free to do as you choose, but this is just a suggestion. Good luck.

 

[WaterTiger]

Her hot/cold behaviour could be a result of her home life as well. She might see you as her HERO and hope that you can get her out of her present situation. Be careful!

 

[Eternal]

Moved to Don Juan Discussion.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by Enishi Yukishiro
Now, a month later, she calls me and tells me she misses me, that she did that because she was angry, that she loves me with all her heart (she never said that when we where dating) and wants to be with me BUT, she does not want me to get hurt if we start dating again, because her life is still worse, and she is afraid her situation might hurt my feelings

Okay, we're running this through the ********-to-English Translator™ now.

Please wait...

"I looked and couldn't find anything better than you at the moment. I have dependency issues and so I need someone and you are the best candidate at the moment. I also plan to use my unfortunate home situation as leverage and as an excuse for unacceptable behavior, and I want your assurance now that you will not hold me responsible for anything I say or do."

Translation completed.

 

[1hepcat]

damnit, I'm going to write one for the web site, where you put in ********, and it translates it for you. Then all the n00bs can go there. Sound good???

 

[DJ_Dork]

Inconsistent behavior, hot/cold behavior = Cats. Should Cats = Women, Do you feel like you're on the edge/eggshells? If so, she doesn't really want you... Been there , done that. .NEXT.

 

[snakeeyes]

Okay I have been through this situation before. here is my story
My last girl friend also had problems at home, but her father wasnt violent or anything its just that her parents fight a lot. My ex also has been played by many guys before. Her first bf whom she was with for 3 years cheated on her and got another girl pregnant. Her last bf cheated on her with his ex. She definitely had some problems trusting guys after all the things that she been through. Throughout our relationship I had to prove to her that I was honest and trust worthy. But she was never sure about me. Her feelings were really inconsistent. One week she could be all over me and want to spend every moment with me, the next week she would just ignore me. She complains that I dont call enough for a guy that really cares about her. She even complains that I dont do enough. The truth is that I do plenty for her. I plan road trips and different activities, but sometimes she doesnt come through. One day she got me pissed off so I didnt call her for 3 weeks. At that point I knew it was all over. I didnt want to take her inconsistency anymore. After that 3 weeks I called her so we can have closure. I did this because we were friends before we got together. Her friends knows me and my friends know her. I wanted to preserve at least some kind of friendship because I know I will be seeing her again. well I called her and she put me on hold, so i just hanged up. I was pissed. two weeks later when I had some free time I called her again to straighten some things out. That was the last time I called her.
Now 3 months ago, I saw her at her best friends bday party. I took her best friend(its a guy) to the strip club so his girlfriend can set up a surprise party for him. I went in the house and saw her and immediately went back to my car with my other friend. While I was driving she called my friend and ask where we were going. My friend told her that we were pickin up the cake. when i got back she tried to flirt with me but i backed off. one point she winked at me then we suddenly made eye contact. I looked away and next thing I know she had her body bent over, sitting down,and her hands covering her face. I felt bad but still i didnt do anything. After the party My friend told me that my ex talked to him. She told him that these couple of months has been rough and that she went to the hospital for depression. I immediately pulled over because I felt sorry for her. When we were together she would cry about her problems. She was definitely bipolar. Now she has called me several times after we broked up, but I never picked up the phone. I care about this girl and I still have feelings for her but I know I did everything to prove to her that I wont play her like the other guys. She still hasnt prove to me that she is worth it.

My adivce to you is to let this go and find someone else. I wished that she has changed and matured but i know that that is a slim possibility. That is one reason why I decided to join this site. I learn so much from these DJ's. I accepted a lot of her crap and now i know not to. If someone really cares about you they wont put you through all of this. It is not up to you to solve her emotional problems. Its really a bad idea to be with someone with more problems then you do. Its gonna drag you done too. Listen to djs from this post they know what they are talking about

If someone is willing to let you go, dont take them back in.