"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Help with this Girl

Hikapo

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There is this female customer Britney that comes often to the store to buy coffee from us. I work at Starbucks. She has a cute daughter called Jess that comes in once in a blue moon.

Now, I have very good rapport with her mum, and her mum is a chatterbox. She often mentions how Jess says I make the best coffee, ask about me and tells me stuff about Jess. I like her and I know she is interested, but for some reason she turns into a stone when I talk to her. I told her mum that Jess should come visit me on new year's eve.

So today, they came in and Jess went "it's Hikapo!" and I helped them to get their coffee. I tried to make a conversation, but her answers were 1 word answers.

Like for example,

Me: So what are you doing for new years eve?

Her mum butts in and answers the question for me: she is going to a party.

Me: So when is university starting?

Jess: Jan 20th.

Her mum then butts in before I can ask a question and goes: "So Jess you said he makes the best coffee, even better than the ones in San Diego."

Jess: ... ...Yea.


Now see, I want to ask her out, but I keep giving myself obstacles not to ask her out. This time I didn't do anything because her mum was there.

But now I am like, screw it, it's the new year and I want to ask her out, but since she is shy, how am I going to go about getting her number. Plus, she doesn't always come in.


I have thought of the following options

1) Next time her mum comes in, I got to have her mum call her on her phone and I get a chance to talk to her and ask her out over the phone/get her number.

2)Have her mum help me with getting her number which I don't think its a good idea.

3) Go game more girls and forget about her.


Any suggestion guys?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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PeeGee

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Pretend instead of her mother it's her father, or her friends, or her outfit.

You're doing two things: making excuses, and not remembering rule #57:

You date the girl, nobody else.
 

Igetit!

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Hikapo said:
There is this female customer Britney that comes often to the store to buy coffee from us. I work at Starbucks. She has a cute daughter called Jess that comes in once in a blue moon.

Now, I have very good rapport with her mum, and her mum is a chatterbox. She often mentions how Jess says I make the best coffee, ask about me and tells me stuff about Jess. I like her and I know she is interested, but for some reason she turns into a stone when I talk to her. I told her mum that Jess should come visit me on new year's eve.
You seem to hit it off better with the mom than this girl,lol.

You say you like her? Why? You don't even know her.


You might be attracted to her because she's cute or hot,you can't really "like" someone unless you know them.


Do you like cold,unfeeling women? I mean,you said that whenever you talk to her she turns into stone.


You said you like her,then you said whenever you talk to her,she turns to stone,so I take it you like stiff,cold women.


Correct me if I'm wrong.

Hikapo said:
So today, they came in and Jess went "it's Hikapo!" and I helped them to get their coffee. I tried to make a conversation, but her answers were 1 word answers.

Like for example,

Me: So what are you doing for new years eve?

Her mum butts in and answers the question for me: she is going to a party.

Me: So when is university starting?

Jess: Jan 20th.

Her mum then butts in before I can ask a question and goes: "So Jess you said he makes the best coffee, even better than the ones in San Diego."

Jess: ... ...Yea.
Oh,I HATE that. I get chills up my spine just thinking about how a date would be with her.


A date with a girl who's stone with you,who gives one-word answers.


And you're asking for advice on how to make that happen.


O...kay.


She may be that way because you two really haven't have any one on one time with each other.


Maybe if you could somehow speak to her WITHOUT her mother present,maybe she'll THAW OUT some.


I can't see her accepting a date with you if she turns to stone whenever you try to speak to her.


Hikapo said:
I have thought of the following options

1) Next time her mum comes in, I got to have her mum call her on her phone and I get a chance to talk to her and ask her out over the phone/get her number.

2)Have her mum help me with getting her number which I don't think its a good idea.

3) Go game more girls and forget about her.


Any suggestion guys?

Well #2 is out. Forget that.

#3 is a viable option.


As far as #1,well,don't have her mother call her.

That'll make you look bad. It'll make you seem like you're too scared to ask her out in person because you've had several opportunities to do it.



I say don't do anything. If her mother comes in and starts telling about her daughter asking about you or talking about you,then tell her mother to tell her to come in there to speak to you HERSELF.


If she comes in there to speak to you ALONE,that's an IOI,and that'll be an opportunity for you to work your "game" on her.




Other than that,I'd just drop that "rock" and move on.
 

Hikapo

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igetit, I am using the wrong words.

Let me clarify, you are right, I am attracted to her. Not 'like'.

I know some stuff about her and she knows stuff about me because her mum is like the messenger. Whatever I say to her mum = I say to her. And I know some of her through her mum's rambling about her.

Jess and her mum came in 3 days ago to visit but I wasnt working, her mum told me a day later thatJess was disappointed and said "where is my cutie Hikapo". I took that as an IOI, that is why I wanted to see her in person and ask her out. But her mum was with her today and I blew it.

You are right, I should tell her mum to get her to come by herself, but how should I convey that message to her mum?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Hikapo

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MushroomGod said:
4) ask her out the next time she comes in.

Keep her mum out of it.

The problem is they always come in together, I need to find a way to make her come in by herself.
 

Hikapo

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The Loacker said:
Well you can't really make her come by herself. If she ever comes in by herself, then you can ask her out. Here's the thing though - when girls are interested, they'll make it easy for you to talk to them. She knows you work at Starbucks, so if she likes you then she'll pop by more often. Next time she does, try to strike up a conversation with her. If she keeps giving you one-word answers then she's either a) not interested, or b) really shy. It's usually the former though...
She is definitely shy. You are right maybe she is just embarrassed by her mum's action. Or maybe she isn't interested. I need to isolate her to know.

One time her mum came by herself and called Jess and ask what she wants and told her I am making the drink, immediately after the call Jess text her mum to tell me she said 'Hello'.

In the mean time, I am going to focus on other aspects of my life. She is getting into my head a little too much than I would like.
 

Hikapo

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Haha, today her mum came in today.

I asked her mum if Jess was single.

She goes: "Well, she always had a boyfriend in San Diego."

I go: "Well She can have another one at Tujunga." :rolleyes:

Her mum's reaction was priceless!! Haha, we will see.
 

CarlitosWay

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I honestly wouldn't give a ****....I would talk to them like any other day and nonchalantly give the girl my phone, punch some imaginary buttons with my hand and be like would be awesome to hang out sometime....baddabingbaddabooom.....Maybe have one of your associates wing ya and keep the mom occupied for a min or two. I'm sure you can figure something out.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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