"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Help With Match.com

Inc. ©

Don Juan
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insomniac,

From my experiences on free dating sites, it's really not that difficult and I think you're wasting too much time on e-mail. I've had 3 dates in the past week and I have 4 numbers I am going to call early next week. I have a second date tomorrow and I'm arranging another second date on Sunday night. Ok so here's the process:

1. Spam all the woman you like with a generic e-mail about one paragraph long. Say who you are, how old you are, where you live, what you like to do, and say you're looking to meet new people. Don't ask them a question. Just say TTYL. You've already said you're looking to meet new people so if they're interested they'll respond. More likely than not, they'll look at your pic and decide if they're gonna respond.

2. You'll get an e-mail back from the interested girls. Thank them for the response and comment on anything interesting. Maybe ask a follow-up question if it fits. Ask them if they have AIM (or whatever messenger you use).

3. If they have a messenger, no more e-mails. Just quickly chat on IM and # close them. If they don't have a messenger, repeat step 2 and ask for a phone # instead.

4. By this point, you have the # of all interested women. Call them in 1-3 days and be very casual and suggest a non-threatening meet-up such as coffee. Just go with the flow. If she's interested it won't be hard to meet up. Now, if you are like most guys, you aren't a good phone conversationalist. DO NOT CHIT CHAT! I break this rule from time to time, but you'll find it is absolutely unnecessary to chit chat. Only chit chat if it flows. Otherwise, just ask her how she is, blah blah, and then say like "hey, I was thinking why don't we meet up sometime this week and get coffee or something."

As I said, this has worked repeatedly for me in the last week or so. It's not difficult. Just be yourself and approach everyone as a potential friend not as a date! Never say date...you're always "meeting up." Don't pay for her, don't sit close to her, just talk to her like you want to get to know her. It's a very simple and painless process. It helps if you're new in town like me and actually are interested in making friends as well as dates, but that's the gist of it.

Key Points
- It's not a date, it's a meet-up!
- You aren't sharing your life story with someone you might not meet!
- You talk to her, you don't seduce her!
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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bobbob

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2004
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hi, i need feedback on my profile. the one questions i have is whether "bang the crap" is acceptable terminology ...


"A bit about myself: I'm 27, recently graduated from grad school. I'm 6'3", and weigh 180 pounds, caucasian, dark hair and dark eyes. I'm the tall, dark, and handsome guy you were fantasizing about back in grade school. Naughty girl.

I want pretty girl. I hit her on head with club, drag her by hair to cave. I cook dinner, we eat dinosaur. Then I bang the crap out of girl on rug made from bear. Ah, what, whoops. Was in caveman mode for a minute there, sorry :-D I'm 95% gentleman, and only 5% caveman. I'm not a superficial person, but I have to be attracted to the person I'm meeting. I'm tall (6'3"), and I prefer tall women, between 5'6" and 5'11". I'm only attracted to women that are in shape. To me, that means slender or athletic. I live in [blah], and I'm only looking for someone who is fairly local. If you match this criteria, write me a letter, and tell me more about yourself."


I wish you could put line breaks in the profile, it reads better with them.

Anyways, let me know what you all think, how it can be improved, etc. Thanks
 

al77

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Great Lakes
Originally posted by bobbob

1. "A bit about myself: I'm 27, recently graduated from grad school. I'm 6'3", and weigh 180 pounds, caucasian,

2. dark hair and dark eyes. I'm the tall, dark, and handsome guy you were fantasizing about back in grade school. Naughty girl.

3. I want pretty girl. I hit her on head with club, drag her by hair to cave.

4. I cook dinner, we eat dinosaur.

5. Then I bang the crap out of girl on rug made from bear. Ah, what, whoops. Was in caveman mode for a minute there, sorry :-D I'm 95% gentleman, and only 5% caveman.

6. I'm not a superficial person, but I have to be attracted to the person I'm meeting. I'm tall (6'3"), and I prefer tall women, between 5'6" and 5'11".

7. I'm only attracted to women that are in shape. To me, that means slender or athletic. I live in [blah], and I'm only looking for someone who is fairly local. If you match this criteria, write me a letter, and tell me more about yourself."


I wish you could put line breaks in the profile, it reads better with them.

Anyways, let me know what you all think, how it can be improved, etc. Thanks
1. No grad school in the first line - women dislike intelligent guys,
I don't think you have to say you age, height since it is already will be in the profile. Eliminate 1.

2. Thats a good idea about "fantasizing..."

3. "Pretty girl.. hit with a club??" Thats not a great image to convey. No.

4. Thats really good.

5. Thats unacceptable I think.

6. Don't say too many words here.. just say "really love tall women even if you it is just yoru heels" or something like that.
Don't state your height again, don't ask for specific height either.

7. Thats too much I think. Just say "Love athletic women who know how to be in shape and happen to live next to my city..."...something like that.
 

bobbob

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2004
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thanks al77 for the feedback.

Anyone else have any feedback? I'd like a few more ideas before rewriting it. peace
 

dirtycm

Don Juan
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Oct 11, 2004
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I have been on match for a few months and have found it to be pretty cool if you are very selective. If ever in doubt, don't go for door number 3. as we all know, curvy = hippo, about average= thick, athletic and toned could be true or I work out a lot but still a little heavier than average. slim and slender is usually pretty accurate.

I've found though that most girls were really busy there and would email a lot but not be able to make time. probably why they are on match in the first place casue they are busy and want to fit dating into a nice neat package they can do at work or from their home.

But, this week I met someone on there that was really cool and we hit it off real well. I also discovered a cool first meeting technique in the process. Feel free to use it.

We met at a local coffee shop that also served beer and was a nice relaxed environment. Rather than sit down and interview type hang out, i grabbed a deck of cards and challenged her to some poker. I grabbed some different colored sugar packets for chips, and it was on. It was a fun thing to do and take the pressure off. You are also are learing about their personality and gives you lots of openings for ****y funny.

Anyhow, i ended up winning and prior we decided the prize was drinks. she then upped the ante to winner gets dinner on loser. well I won that and tonight she is taking me out.

Hope this story helped or motivated some...the dirty CM
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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insomniac

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 13, 2004
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Originally posted by dirtycm
I have been on match for a few months and have found it to be pretty cool if you are very selective. If ever in doubt, don't go for door number 3. as we all know, curvy = hippo, about average= thick, athletic and toned could be true or I work out a lot but still a little heavier than average. slim and slender is usually pretty accurate.
Yeah, that's about right. Slim/slender is almost always accurate. Athletic & toned can mean skinny, or fat but she exercises.

If you know how to screen them correctly, then you can meet some decent ones. I'm off to meet an "athletic & toned" Irish girl from match in a half-hour.

I haven't had good experiences with playing cards/games on a first encounter. One said she was good at Trivial Pursuit, so I challenged her saying I was even better. But, I think it got a little too boring. I did win though.
 

insomniac

Senior Don Juan
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"So when should we meet???"

e-mails some 21yo blonde hairdresser from match to me out of the blue. Don't know how to respond to this one.
 

Peter88

New Member
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I don't know for some reason I wasn't very successful on dating sites. I used match for several month, but the conversion rate was killing me. I had so little replies, and it can be very confusing when you keep sending messages and no one replies to you. Now I'm testing https://www.flirt.com/ and once again the conversion is far from ideal(at least I managed to arrange an actual date, but don't ask me how it went(horrible)) I don't know, maybe you can advice me some dating sites?
 
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