help with loneliness

[rsofa]

Hello!

Im 18 and haven't have a girlfriend... is that bad?
I did have sex 2x though with a friend which is a girl.

So I have this problem, that im really picky on girls.. I could allready have a girlfriend but, she's is not fun enough or is not my type.

I just fall for taller normal girls... why tall? im tall.
am... I had a big fat crush on one girl 2 years ago...we were friends...didn't see her much because she was shy...just facebook the most... Then one day she stopped being my friend because i was "annoying" to her... Im still kind of sad because she is really cute and fun and when someone says something that is connected with her I get depressed. We never dated or kissed... OK let's leave that... anyway.. I get easily attached to a person that's the problem.

If I know the person for 1 week im gonna be super annoying..call them all the time, write them texts and fb messages.. I know that's bad. But I cant help it. I just can't. Im the kind of person that literally falls in love with a person after a week. I get up and she is the first thing on my mind...
I actually found a girl that likes to be with me 24/7 in person or technology... but. She. Doesn't. want. to. be more. then . friends. Great!

Am I insane?
Should I see a doctor?


No making me busy won't do it. I can clean the car and think about her or do anything else... because when I'll go to sleep im gonna have dreams about her ... about a girl that I know for a week -.-
And talking with friends... If I go out yes. when I get home...back to the same me. I've been with that girl out for a couple of times... When I go home im sad... im not happy even if I have a blast every time...im sad because it's over and im gonna be sad all evening.

What's wrong with me?
I could write more but...noone likes long posts

 

[Dan08]

Hey Rsofa, sup mate?

Let's break this down, my responses are in bold.

Hello!

Im 18 and haven't have a girlfriend... is that bad? No mate, I have friends who have never had girlfriends, they're overated mate. Focus on yourself and then bang chicks later
I did have sex 2x though with a friend which is a girl.

So I have this problem, that im really picky on girls.. I could allready have a girlfriend but, she's is not fun enough or is not my type.

I just fall for taller normal girls... why tall? im tall.
am... I had a big fat crush on one girl 2 years ago...we were friends...didn't see her much because she was shy...just facebook the most... Then one day she stopped being my friend because i was "annoying" to her... Im still kind of sad because she is really cute and fun and when someone says something that is connected with her I get depressed. We never dated or kissed... OK let's leave that... anyway.. I get easily attached to a person that's the problem.

Only if you let it be. Try to distance yourself from situations you feel that you may lose your control in.

If I know the person for 1 week im gonna be super annoying..call them all the time, write them texts and fb messages.. I know that's bad. But I cant help it. I just can't. Im the kind of person that literally falls in love with a person after a week. I get up and she is the first thing on my mind...
I actually found a girl that likes to be with me 24/7 in person or technology... but. She. Doesn't. want. to. be more. then . friends. Great!

Am I insane?
Should I see a doctor?

You're not insane mate, you just obviously like human company and this probably lies with you feeling lonely so as soon as someone shows interest or gets talking to you then you quickly talk to them as you don't have any other options. That may sound harsh and I don't mean it to be, just saying as I see it.



No making me busy won't do it. I can clean the car and think about her or do anything else... because when I'll go to sleep im gonna have dreams about her ... about a girl that I know for a week -.-
And talking with friends... If I go out yes. when I get home...back to the same me. I've been with that girl out for a couple of times... When I go home im sad... im not happy even if I have a blast every time...im sad because it's over and im gonna be sad all evening.

I suggest you take up some hobbies, hit the gym and get fit, give your life some goals to focus on and you'll soon stop feeling lonely or worry about annoying people. I know you say keeping busy won't help you but are you really staying busy by washing the car? No. You're staying busy by filling up your days with things to do and complete, like a gym workout, learning an instrument, seeing that friend you've neglected this past week and so on. I'd post more but now I need sleep

What's wrong with me?
I could write more but...noone likes long posts

 

[rsofa]

Hey Rsofa, sup mate?

Let's break this down, my responses are in bold.

Hey thanks

I think that girl made me "unstable" because before her I didn't have this problem..

I really have this problem that I neglect other people when I meet someone interesting... Thatcan be a problem, because I only focus on one person..

are u sure that it isnt a problem that i didnt have a girlfriend before? Because most of the girls I know allready had a boyfriend.... I Feel like a kid when im around them....

 

[Dan08]

Hey thanks

I think that girl made me "unstable" because before her I didn't have this problem..

I really have this problem that I neglect other people when I meet someone interesting... Thatcan be a problem, because I only focus on one person..

are u sure that it isnt a problem that i didnt have a girlfriend before? Because most of the girls I know allready had a boyfriend.... I Feel like a kid when im around them....

By the sound of things mate you're better off without a girlfriend till you can sort this other sh!t out. And nah, just cuz people you know have bf/gf doesn't mean they're any better or happier than you.

Read the DJ Bible beginning to end and that'll explain things better than I could ever do.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

You lack in self-esteem and thus you seek excessive comfort and acceptance in others. Like you said, you text and such excessively in hope of getting the response that you need to feel empowered. Work on your confidence.

 

[rsofa]

Thanks, ill look into the DJbible

I don't know maybe I just need some time...I got attached to this girl now it feels like there is no way out..
About the dating many women... I really don't know if I want that...it doesn't feel like "me"

 

[rsofa]

I didn't know this sites main reason was having all the girls...

 

[Sneevox]

I didn't know this sites main reason was having all the girls...

It's not. Don't worry.
This site is about inner game.
It's about being a man and not submitting to others for simple comfort.
True comfort comes with pain.


Read The Book Of Pook first. It helped me more than the DJ Bible.

 

[rsofa]

It's not. Don't worry.
This site is about inner game.
It's about being a man and not submitting to others for simple comfort.
True comfort comes with pain.


Read The Book Of Pook first. It helped me more than the DJ Bible.

I read that book sometimes too...
But just the book won't change what I am... Actually I don't want to change. I like what I am. Im not depressed or something, just when girls get in the game and they don't like me...then I get weird. Once a girl liked me and I was all normal and happy...but that's over now...

 

[Sneevox]

I read that book sometimes too...
But just the book won't change what I am... Actually I don't want to change. I like what I am. Im not depressed or something, just when girls get in the game and they don't like me...then I get weird. Once a girl liked me and I was all normal and happy...but that's over now...

Did you know that emotions are addicting? They use the same neuropathways as heroin addictions.

You were addicted to the emotion the girl gave you, and now you're looking for the fix again. It's a drug.

The fix is simple. Find a new drug, or go buddhist style and have no drugs. It's easier to do that, I find.

 

[rsofa]

Did you know that emotions are addicting? They use the same neuropathways as heroin addictions.

You were addicted to the emotion the girl gave you, and now you're looking for the fix again. It's a drug.

The fix is simple. Find a new drug, or go buddhist style and have no drugs. It's easier to do that, I find.

I could agree with that....the more I get the more I want...
got to do something about that.. :S