Help with Damaged Girl

[Cashew]

I've known this girl for about six months. I have been interested in her for part of that and recently have noticed that she was interested in me. She later told me that she was interested and we have gone out a few times. However, she does not want any sort of commitment or relationship; she has had some recent bad experiences that make her fearful of a commitment of any variety. She genuinely does like me and isn't just friendzoning me, letting me down easy or anything like that. She's damaged. I'm looking for an LTR, she isn't.

The advice you should give me is to forget about her and move on. I am aware of this, I think wasting time waiting is dumb and there is another girl I'm starting to see.

Something that doesn't come up so often around here and got me curious is how I could be able to keep her interest level high so that if/when she is ready for commitment she is still interested. What tips do you have, if any, for maintaining a girl's high IL once you've already gotten it and without being in a relationship with her?

 

[true romance]

stay away from Damaged Girl. You don't own a garage do you?

You are in the business of seducing and banging women.

Leave repair and return to certifed mental trained professional.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

What exactly do you mean by damaged? If she just got out of a relationship and is hurt by it. Then, give her space show her you are a good guy. She will come around.

 

[decades]

I would start wondering about your own "damages". one would wonder why you aren't out trying to find a woman who CAN commit and can be intimate rather than putting your sole hope on a woman who has a series of red flags flying overhead.

 

[Cashew]

She hasn't just gotten out of a relationship, she was hurt by it, but it's been a while. I'm not really concerned as to whether she comes around or not. And since she isn't willing to offer what I'm looking for, I'm looking elsewhere for it.

I am out there finding others who will commit.

Just the situation where two people are interested in each other and nothing happens made me wonder a bit. For example, what if I was the damaged one who didn't want a relationship, what could I do to keep a girl interested in me until I'm ready?

 

[DonGorgon]

stay away from Damaged Girl. You don't own a garage do you?

You are in the business of seducing and banging women.

Leave repair and return to certifed mental trained professional.

Most women/humans are damaged to some degree... We are damaged by our very existence.. and the tragedies and struggles that are part of it.. the questions is how much and what type of damage are you compatible with and or capable of handling...???

 

[WC2]

The question begs to be answered..

Why are you interested in damaged goods? It's really bothersome to see a guy interested in someone damaged because that tells me that he himself is not fully right either.

This is a lose-lose scenario. And I can think of 3 scenarios.

1. She is damaged and wants you to heal her. Not only will you waste massive amounts of time trying to make this woman feel better, but she will effectively move you into that "emotional tampon zone", use you, and spit you out like yesterday's garbage when she finds an ample man. Don't believe me? Try it.

2. She is playing the damaged card because she just wants no "strings attached" aka rampant sex with whomever she wants, and she isn't held accountable. While she may still be hurting from her past experiences, you may want to ask yourself if she is sore in any other way.

3. And the BEST of all scenarios, which isn't a very good one either.. You and her do work it out and go into a LTR. However, you met on bad terms so the negative side of the relationship is always there. You have to deal with her bouts of pouting and problems. You feel more like a therapist than her boyfriend.

Do any of these sound appealing to you?

I'm not saying that these are the only 3 scenarios that could happen, but from my experience with "damaged" women, they are the most common. The sad thing, is I feel the worst for those who fall into #3.

 

[Cashew]

I'd put her under case #2.

I do not intend to wait for her. I am not going to get involved with someone who is like that.

People keep focusing on that and no one has really answered my question yet.

 

[rqnqbnpopo]

Be her friend, use her to your advantage more than she uses you.. Keep her at your side.. Stay flirty, keep her on her toes by calling once in a blue, avoiding her calls/txts but eventually responding, act like your busy if you really are not, go out once in awhile and maybe hook up to keep the vibe goin'.

If I was you, use her to practice your skills and keep them proficient but at the same time keep yourself open for other potential women out there. Don't get to intimate, love dovey where you become old news to her and she tells you to fly a kite.. Make sense/answer your Q? Hope so.

 

[theunflushables]

Take your time date her, don't jump to any sort of commitment. Let things just fall in to place if they do. If not you find someone else while being not serious.

 

[AKA FLEX]

I'd put her under case #2.

I do not intend to wait for her. I am not going to get involved with someone who is like that.

People keep focusing on that and no one has really answered my question yet.

If you put her under case #2, at least put the screws to her while you have the chance. That is a dream scenario; just don't get too attached.

 

[Cashew]

If you put her under case #2, at least put the screws to her while you have the chance. That is a dream scenario; just don't get too attached.

Done. About two weeks ago.

 

[Alphamale1821]

"don't save her she don't wanna be saved don't save her

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH3AECIX_tc
LOL