help with chit-chat

[requested]

I have been goin to some parties and I realized i need help with just my random chit-chat. Once i know a girl, i have good game talking and joking around, but with random girls who i don't know its hard for me to talk about random things without it getting awkward, any suggestions or topics that could help?,

thanks

 

[penkitten]

random people are strangers.
you were conditioned not to talk to strangers as a kid.

try talking to strangers as an adult.
if it doesn't go well, then oh well. you aren't going to see them again because they were random strangers.

 

[Jason Ess]

A starting point is to learn to ask questions, once you're focused upon the other person the interaction will go more smoothly.
I think the usual phrase is "Get out of your own head". Perhaps next time ask yourself a question such as "what's interesting about this person" and wait for the answers to come.
As penkitten said, we're conditioned not to talk to strangers (otherwise they'll they'll take us away and lock us in a basement while they experiment with electrodes on our intimate areas.) So for most people a fear/anxiety response kicks in.
Along with shifting your focus externally it might help to look at why you're so attached to the outcome, what does it mean to you when it feels "awkward"?

 

[ViciousDADogg]

Asking questions and all that small sh1t is no smarter than noting how nice the weather is.


You gotta talk to their inner self. Get past the bull sh1t and right in there. Look up DD's communication model.


For example. You and this lady in the elevator. She's looking at the buttons as they light up. You go "it says 4, now 3, now 2, and now 1." Make fun of her.

Another one. You come across this girl and she looks away. You go "damn you must like that wall so much, you got sure got your priorities straight." If you lucky and there is a fat guy there instead of the wall, you can say "Damn, you're into fat guys, too bad I got into shape a long time ago."

Go past the mundane and usual, and speak directely to them. Their usual reaction is a smile. You become this funny a55 guy, a man they respect. Not just some champ that notes the weather, the fvcking nice guy.