Help With a Confusing Situation.

[DonPapiChiChi]

Okay, a little back-story.

I've known this girl for about 3 years. The first 2 years was nothing serious, we had casual sex, and we both agreed not to be exclusive to one another. Well, within the last year, we've become closer, and decided to try out the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Thing is, a friend of mine started talking to her a few months prior to us getting together, and he admitted he wanted to have sex with her. They were talking all sexual over the phone, etc. Now of course I didn't have a problem at this, because at the time it was understood that this was just a chick I was banging. Me and my friend have that understanding, that if it's not our girl, then she's free game.

Well they never had sex, and me and this girl got closer and closer, and we finally decided to hook up. We both know about our pasts, so it was no big deal, we decided to move on with it, leave the past in the past and try to progress our relationship. Now I've made it known that going out or doing anything with my friend was off limits, because it was a known fact that he wanted to screw her. Is that such an unreasonable thing to suggest? I still catch this girl talking to him on rare occasion. She doesn't talk to him much, only to ask how he's doing etc? Should I cut this ***** off like an umbilical cord, or just chalk it up to friendly conversation? She's even entertained the idea of going out to the movies with him for casual fun -- according to her nothing sexual. Thing is I know what type of dude my friend is. Should I give her an ultimatum? Either stop entertaining the idea of hanging out with my friend or we're finished?

Does that sound unreasonable on my part? I don't think so. I say the chick knows how I feel about the issue, and she knows it makes me uncomfortable, yet she continues to disrespect my wishes. Common sense is telling me to cut this chick off for good. But emotions and love are telling me to stick with her. Any of you guys been in a similar boat?

Plz advise!

 

[Centaurion]

Let's make this clear : Are you guys exclusive?

 

[DonPapiChiChi]

Yes, I've made it very clear to here that I've been faithful. There's no way she can doubt me. I'm SURE she's been faithful too. We understand that we are 100% exclusive. Thing is I really do trust her. I just find it mainly disrespectful that she can't see it from my point of view. I used this example with her: If she had a friend who wanted to have sex with me, and I still decided to go out with her (even if it was just friendly), how would that make her feel? She seemed to grasp this concept, yet i caught her talking to him again a few days ago.

 

[satyriasis]

cut her off. honestly, you should have just kept her as a fvck buddy. turning a fvck buddy into your g/f is like trying to turn a hoe into a house wife, the tendencies are still there. i just posted a thread about 50 things about women and one of the things on there was, "she wants to aleast fvck one of your friends", which seems true in this case. if you know your friend like you said you do, then no doubt he is going to take advantage if given the opportunity. one thing my uncle told me along time ago was, "the only time you know someone aint fvcking your girl, is when your fvcking your girl."

 

[DonPapiChiChi]

Originally posted by satyriasis
cut her off. honestly, you should have just kept her as a fvck buddy. turning a fvck buddy into your g/f is like trying to turn a hoe into a house wife, the tendencies are still there. i just posted a thread about 50 things about women and one of the things on there was, "she wants to aleast fvck one of your friends", which seems true in this case. if you know your friend like you said you do, then no doubt he is going to take advantage if given the opportunity. one thing my uncle told me along time ago was, "the only time you know someone aint fvcking your girl, is when your fvcking your girl."

Yep... I know what I gotta do... I'm just such an idiot for getting caught up in this situation in the first place. Damn stupid emotions! I guess I'm in denial about the whole thing, I knew what i needed to do in the first place, I just didn't wanna act on the whim without advice from at least someone. Maybe I can at least salvage the friendship, but i doubt that will be possible.

 

[JV_]

Basically cut her off before you hear her say "Let's just be friends". That's when the door's closed. She's then lost the passion. Don't be nasty with words, just ignore her. And try to forget about her, you don't want to be friends with her anyway if you really think about it. Let her come to you because that's the only way it can be on your terms. If she comes to you, just play it cool.

Sounds like a similar thing I had with this Persian girl a while back. Great fcuk buddy for months, great in bed. After a while she started getting too clingy, coming to my house at weird hours and I just decided to cut it off, she was driving me insane. I saw her a month later again and she wanted me back. For some reason I took her back and we start it like before. Only not long after I take her out and she starts flirting with some guy. The tables turned, she lost the passion. I cut her off the next day.