"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Help!! Which woman do I choose!?!?

Joseph28

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This is the first time I’ve ever been in this position but I’m in a dilemma of choosing between two beautiful women. These two women, Elena and Isabela, who I’m fortunate enough to meet and get to know are as different as night and day.

The first woman, Elena is 28 years old, she’s a banker and is outdoorsy because she likes parasailing, sports and trekking. At first, I was a little bit intimidated because I’m a bit out of shape so I couldn’t come up with some first date ideas. She took pity on me and suggested that we have dinner instead which was fine. I was thinking about what I need in my life and she fit that mold because she’s active and young and knows how to have fun.

I’m not sure why this young Latina woman was so into me but she was. She told me I’m mature and set in my ways, and that she needed “taming” so she could get her life together. In my opinion, I think she’s handling her life alright.

The second woman, Isabel is 32 years old. She’s a single mother of an adorable 3-year-old and near my age, although there is a 10-year gap. When I met her, she had this quality that I really liked and instantly made me think of “wife.” I can see that she loves her son and it’s refreshing to see as my kids have all grown up. I’ve also bonded with the little guy and I would really love to spoil him someday and play basketball when he’s a bit older or whatever he likes.

To give a bit of background, I’m a 42 divorced male with 2 college-age kids. I’m from Orange County and I live comfortably with a modest job that I love. It has been a while for me since I’ve had a girlfriend so I decided to date again after 4 years of being single.

I met these two women when I went on a tour in Colombia. It was by a company called AFA. The tours were a bit expensive but I daresay that it was all worth it.

Now, my dilemma. I like these two women. I need to be practical. Elena and Isabel were on the tour too because they were in the same boat as me. They both have expressed their interest in me as we’ve gone on to a couple of dates. Is it weird to say that I equally like them both? Any advice you can give? Thanks in advance.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Bokanovsky

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The only advice I can give you is stay away from single moms if you want your comfortable life to continue being comfortable.
 

dude99

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This is the first time I’ve ever been in this position but I’m in a dilemma of choosing between two beautiful women. These two women, Elena and Isabela, who I’m fortunate enough to meet and get to know are as different as night and day.

The first woman, Elena is 28 years old, she’s a banker and is outdoorsy because she likes parasailing, sports and trekking. At first, I was a little bit intimidated because I’m a bit out of shape so I couldn’t come up with some first date ideas. She took pity on me and suggested that we have dinner instead which was fine. I was thinking about what I need in my life and she fit that mold because she’s active and young and knows how to have fun.

I’m not sure why this young Latina woman was so into me but she was. She told me I’m mature and set in my ways, and that she needed “taming” so she could get her life together. In my opinion, I think she’s handling her life alright.

The second woman, Isabel is 32 years old. She’s a single mother of an adorable 3-year-old and near my age, although there is a 10-year gap. When I met her, she had this quality that I really liked and instantly made me think of “wife.” I can see that she loves her son and it’s refreshing to see as my kids have all grown up. I’ve also bonded with the little guy and I would really love to spoil him someday and play basketball when he’s a bit older or whatever he likes.

To give a bit of background, I’m a 42 divorced male with 2 college-age kids. I’m from Orange County and I live comfortably with a modest job that I love. It has been a while for me since I’ve had a girlfriend so I decided to date again after 4 years of being single.

I met these two women when I went on a tour in Colombia. It was by a company called AFA. The tours were a bit expensive but I daresay that it was all worth it.

Now, my dilemma. I like these two women. I need to be practical. Elena and Isabel were on the tour too because they were in the same boat as me. They both have expressed their interest in me as we’ve gone on to a couple of dates. Is it weird to say that I equally like them both? Any advice you can give? Thanks in advance.
Date both. You are not committed to either do date both. Spin those plates.

Your job is to date. Do that.
Your job is to smash and have a good time.
Do that.
You are not in an exclusive relationship with anyone until YOU AND HER both agree. Therefore you are free to date both.

Your job is not to form a relationship. Your job is to date. The womand job is to form a relationship.

Things are too new. Date and have fun. Their behaviour over the next few months will help you make that choice.

But as @Bokanovsky already pointed out the single mom already has a strike against her.
 
A

AJ84

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The only way you are going to know which one will fit well into your life is by dating them both. But don't get close to someone's kids or have them get close to your kids while you are trying to decide.
 

speed dawg

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So do they live in Colombia or California?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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MrAddiction

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The only advice I can give you is stay away from single moms if you want your comfortable life to continue being comfortable.
That was exactly my First thought when Reading OPs post. That way an easy decision.

and that she needed “taming
But keep your eyes open - her talking about she needs some taming can be a red flag in my experience. It might mean: she needs someone who is willing to say no and fight her (created) drama.
 
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