Help...what do I do?

[ztas]

Dear all,
This is my very first message on here, though I've been reading the articles for a few months. They're great!

Anyway... met a lady (32yo) I'm 37yo and we started 'dating' about 6 weeks ago. Things were looking good...I had told her that I was divorced with no kids.

But yesterday I let on that I was separated (not divorced) with the further complication that my ex and kids were still living in the same house. As it turns out she had been suspicious anyway as I could never invite her in to my place!

But she's now told me that it's not the kind of relationship she's looking for. She's asked for 'space' and said we might rekindle our friendship then (but not romance).

Trouble is, I like her and I'm fairly sure the romantic attraction was mutual. We kissed passionately and did all the 'romantic' things, hand holding, etc. Felt very comfortable. I would very much like it to continue. Is there really much point pretending to be friends when I'll still have the desire for more?

Questions:

1. Should I completely break off contact with her? I'm scared of looking needy or desperate.

2. Should I simply accept that there's no hope of anything romantic and settle for being friends? In which case, should I initiate that, or let her?


My past (esp in my younger days!), I know that I could never remain friends with someone I split up with. Mainly my fault, my expectations would be high, and also I'd act childish. Are these common traits? We do have much in common (professionally) so a friendship would have worked had there never been any romance.

Would appreciate advice soon as I'm really scared of messing things up by sounding needy via email or phone...

many thanks and best wishes to all

Z

 

[Wyldfire]

If you are living under the same roof as your wife you are NOT "separated". Furthermore, you lied and told her you were divorced and didn't have any kids.

Would YOU want to date a woman who lied to you and said she was divorced and had no kids and then it turned out that not only was she NOT divorced but was still living with her husband and DOES have kids? I think not.

Don't even bother trying to date until you MOVE OUT. What a bonehead...

 

[ztas]

forgot to add

Wyldfire's post reminded me that I forgot to say that the ex was only temporarily staying with me till accommodation was sorted. She's newly ex.

But...point taken anyway


Z

 

[Wyldfire]

Re: forgot to add

Originally posted by ztas
Wyldfire's post reminded me that I forgot to say that the ex was only temporarily staying with me till accommodation was sorted. She's newly ex.

But...point taken anyway


Z

You lied...and about your kids, no less. No one wants to date a liar...period.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Yea bro...why did you lie?

Lying about your marriage situation and kids? I can understand the marriage thing because divorce, seperations, and the such are a pretty sloppy deal.

But lie about having kids?

Did you think one day that you can just say...oh yea btw...I have a 12 year old and oh yea..an 8 year old too??

Common now..Your a mature fella...and lying about your situation WREEKS of insecurity. The funny thing is...I bet if you would have told her the truth about your situation...she probably would have understood, accepted it and respected your situation.

And if she didnt, then that's a woman you dont want to be with anyway.

But to lie? Common now..

 

[yunghova35]

i usually dont reply t people with LOW POST, but i will this time and i'll make it short...

Ok really why dont you handle your marrage before you go looking for a relationship, i mean be a man do you really expect to HOP from one boat to the next. I can understand if you were in the process but damn your wife is still IN HOUSE with you???

and like erryone said no one likes a liar.