I like to sit next to girls in lectures and talk to them. I get some successes, but bad luck happens and I never see them again. The majority I get are the girls that don't like to continue the conversation or the girls that are on their phone 247. I'll say something related to the class and she'll respond, but I'll have to keep initiating. It kind of gets awkward after I've initiated 2 convos, so I just give up there.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Help, what do I do when this happens
- Thread starter JPlaya
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
R
Rubato
Guest
What do you mean bad luck happens? They get in a car accident later that day and die?JPlaya said:
Don't blame luck for something that didn't even happen. Don't blame it on things that did happen either. Accept personal responsibility for everything. You never saw them again. That's not an event. Unless you think these girls are out there actively trying to hide from you (and I promise you they're not). There are billions of things that could happen, from you not noticing them, them dropping the class, skipping class, ect.
Second, consider your actions and the results they produce. You say something about the class, and she's not interested. Let's take sexuality out of the equation for a second... I'll assume you're straight. Some dude sitting next to you starts making comments to you about the class. Will you give a sh$t about whatever he has to say? If it was a woman, you might if you were attracted to her. But you haven't done anything to inspire sexual attracting for this woman by making a remark about whatever the teacher is talking about. And her bored response to you is evidence of this.
Find something else to talk about, something interesting that is NOT related to class. If you can't come up with something interesting to talk about, you need to enrich your life a little more. Make an observation about her clothes Adam Lyons style and give her a small subtle compliment about a particular part of her style you like. Just start talking to her like she's your friend. Do you talk to your friends about the things your professors say? Probably not, unless he said something really stupid, inappropriate, ect. Ask the girl if she saw whatever TV show you watched last night, and if she didn't, what's her problem because if you're watching it, it's awesome... or you wouldn't be watching it, right?
See what movies are playing and ask her what she's seen. Did she see the Lion King in 3D? OMGSH, I couldn't believe that part when Scar jumped through the fire at the end at Simba and he just POPPED out of the screen!!!! Wasn't that awesome???? Wait... you didn't see it? What the h$ll is wrong with you??
Do you see what I'm saying here? If I try and chat up a girl in one of my classes, the last thing I'm going to talk about is lecture content, unless we're talking about something related to sex (I'm a bio student
That's my advice to you. Talk to her as though you already know her and she's a good friend. Call up one of your friends and talk to them and note how you conversed together. You made a lot more statements than questions I bet. You're not a talk show host. So don't try and be one. Use this conversational opportunity to convey your personality.
Hope this helps bro
I'm glad to see someone taking initiative and actually talking to women.... what a concept! Mike32ct
Master Don Juan
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She's either not attracted to you and/or has other things on her mind. Don't take it personally.
Remember, you are TESTING each girl that you try to talk to. You are trying to see if you two "click." If, after say 10 minute of trying to talk to her, she still gives you one word answers, eject and move on.
Women are random. Seriously, you can have 5 cold ones in a row, and number 6 might talk your ear off and not let you get in words edgewise lol.
A chick that is interested will try to help you with the conversation, maybe not immediately, but within a fairly short period of time.
Remember, you are TESTING each girl that you try to talk to. You are trying to see if you two "click." If, after say 10 minute of trying to talk to her, she still gives you one word answers, eject and move on.
Women are random. Seriously, you can have 5 cold ones in a row, and number 6 might talk your ear off and not let you get in words edgewise lol.
A chick that is interested will try to help you with the conversation, maybe not immediately, but within a fairly short period of time.