Help, what did I do wrong? (new guy)

[UsernameUnknown]

Hey all,

I just realized that this site has a forum as well while I was reading a bunch of the articles on the front page...

I'll try to keep this as concise as possible:

I saw an old friend that of mine that I've liked pretty much since we first met with a group of friends after 5 years at a social event but I never did anything to show her that I felt this way... Two months later we saw each other again at her cousins home. I started to think that she liked me back from her actions but I told myself that I was seeing things that I wanted to see.

A few days later she invited me to a house warming party that she was having. Naturally, I decided to go. I hung out with her for a bit at the party but I didn't want to be around her too much to see if she could come to me.

Well.. it seemed to work. Every 20 minutes on the dot she came to "check up" on me and see if I needed anything.

When I was leaving she gave me 5 hugs at the door as I was saying bye. Just before I step out the door she tells me to just text her anytime.

After that night, we start seeing more of each other but just us two now..
There's a lot more eye contact holding, touching my shoulder while talking and very often she wants to say something then stops herself. I asked her what it was that she wanted to say and she says "I'll tell you but I'm not ready yet" So I left it at that. She teased me and I said "Now I know how you really feel about me" she responded with "I think I've made myself very clear about how I feel towards you"

At this point I was 100% sure that she liked me. Zero doubt in my mind.

I told her that night that I liked her. Even though I think that I saw a smile when I said it, she facepalm'd and shook her head while saying "no, no, just no..".

So I figured now was the best time to cut contact since I was obviously wrong about all the signs I saw. The next evening she texts me to tell me she shaved her head and that she wants to show me. (she just got a haircut)

The next time I saw her we were with our group of friends.. everything seemed to go pretty well but no more held eye contact or anything like that (I honestly felt a little awkward to be around her) but at the end of the night she seemed to be upset with me and the only reason I can think of is that I was talking with a girl which is a mutual friend of ours. Thats basically where things were left at.... It's been just over a month now since I last spoke to her.

So learn me master DJs. What did I do incorrectly?

 

[DonJuanit0]

Well actually is not visible in this post what you did wrong! Maybe she found another guy a while before you tell her, maybe she is an attention ***** and wanted some attention from you (we can also see that when she wants to show you her new haircut although you said you liked her and she didn't respond to it).

I'd say, forget about this one, seems unstable in some way, she wanted to say something but never did, hugs and texts for no reason?!? No man, move on to the next one!

 

[Jack Wealthy]

You made no physical advances

Hey all,

I just realized that this site has a forum as well while I was reading a bunch of the articles on the front page...

I'll try to keep this as concise as possible:

I saw an old friend that of mine that I've liked pretty much since we first met with a group of friends after 5 years at a social event but I never did anything to show her that I felt this way... Two months later we saw each other again at her cousins home. I started to think that she liked me back from her actions here but I told myself that I was seeing things that I wanted to see.

A few days later she invited me to a house warming party that she was having. Naturally, I decided to go. I hung out with her for a bit at the party but I didn't want to be around her too much to see if she could come to me.
here
Well.. it seemed to work. Every 20 minutes on the dot she came to "check up" on me and see if I needed anything. here

When I was leaving she gave me 5 hugs at the door as I was saying bye. Just before I step out the door she tells me to just text her anytime. here

After that night, we start seeing more of each other but just us two now..
There's a lot more eye contact holding, touching my shoulder while talking and very often she wants to say something then stops herself. I asked her what it was that she wanted to say HERE and she says "I'll tell you but I'm not ready yet" So I left it at that. She teased me and I said "Now I know how you really feel about me" she responded with "I think I've made myself very clear about how I feel towards you"
HERE^and v
At this point I was 100% sure that she liked me. Zero doubt in my mind.
Anytime prior to here v
I told her that night that I liked her. Even though I think that I saw a smile when I said it, she facepalm'd and shook her head while saying "no, no, just no..".

So I figured now was the best time to cut contact since I was obviously wrong about all the signs I saw. The next evening she texts me to tell me she shaved her head and that she wants to show me. (she just got a haircut)

The next time I saw her we were with our group of friends.. everything seemed to go pretty well but no more held eye contact why? who stopped it? or anything like that (I honestly felt a little awkward to be around her) but at the end of the night she seemed to be upset with me and the only reason I can think of is that I was talking with a girl which is a mutual friend of ours. Thats basically where things were left at.... It's been just over a month now since I last spoke to her.

So learn me master DJs. What did I do incorrectly?

Bold.
Cut contact if she is psycho and move on.

 

[Desdinova]

I told her that night that I liked her.

That was the turning point. Telling women you like them (at least before you're in a relationship) is like telling them that you have AIDS. They want you to show them through your actions that you like them, but never speak it.

You played a challenge to her which made her think about you and caused her emotional fluctuation which women thrive on. Once you told her you liked her, there was no more challenge and no more emotional fluctuation.

She's done with you. Time to move on.

 

[DonJuanit0]

That was the turning point. Telling women you like them (at least before you're in a relationship) is like telling them that you have AIDS. They want you to show them through your actions that you like them, but never speak it.

You played a challenge to her which made her think about you and caused her emotional fluctuation which women thrive on. Once you told her you liked her, there was no more challenge and no more emotional fluctuation.

She's done with you. Time to move on.

I respect your opinion but... How old the OP is? OP, how old are you m8? I think he is too young, so in that age it couldn't be just this! It is supposed to be romantic to say something like this when you're young!

 

[UsernameUnknown]

Even though I sound young, I'm 21 and she's 19 haha.....
I've never went after a girl before.. this was my first attempt. Unexperienced I suppose

Thanks for all the advice guys!

 

[st_99]

Telling women you like them (at least before you're in a relationship) is like telling them that you have AIDS. .

LoL, sadly there is probably a lot of truth to that.

 

[nismo-4]

After reviewing your case, Judge nismo was disappointed. You will learn.

Don't tell a girl you like her. Always be sexual. Slip the innuendos when you can. Don't be scared.

You have been found guilty of Admitting Feelings, and failure to get physical aka Kino. The fine for this is 2 blue balls, a confused mind, and a trip to Friendzone Mountain, Kentucky.

Case closed. Move on from here.

 

[UsernameUnknown]

As much as that being the last thing I want to hear, I know its true.

Thanks for the advice. I just started reading the DJ bible and hope to master the ways of the DJ.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

I told her that night that I liked her. Even though I think that I saw a smile when I said it, she facepalm'd and shook her head while saying "no, no, just no..".

You had her up until this moment.

NEVER GIVE UP THE FRAME TO A WOMAN. You lost the frame when you revealed your feelings. Telling a woman that you like her is a textbook AFC move that never works. You should always wait for the woman to reveal her feelings first and then you reciprocate.

 

[zekko]

That was the turning point. Telling women you like them (at least before you're in a relationship) is like telling them that you have AIDS. They want you to show them through your actions that you like them, but never speak it.

You played a challenge to her which made her think about you and caused her emotional fluctuation which women thrive on. Once you told her you liked her, there was no more challenge and no more emotional fluctuation.

She's done with you. Time to move on.

I agree it was a mistake for the OP to tell her he likes her.
But I don't think that means the girl is now necessarily a lost cause.
He's going to have to regain frame and do better in the future though.

 

[UsernameUnknown]

Zekko, I tried to send you a PM but I can't seem to do so yet...

How would I go about "regaining frame"? I'm reading through the DJ bible but I'm only 1 chapter in and nothing has been mentioned about frame so far..

 

[Desdinova]

Zekko, I tried to send you a PM but I can't seem to do so yet...

There's a minimum posting limit before you can send PMs (to avoid members getting their PM boxes spammed by bots)