HELP! W/ Girlfriend Hanging out With EX-Boyfriend!

[BradSmint]

Okay... so I've been dating this girl to close to 2 years now. And pretty much the whole time she would talk, hang out with,smoke pot with, sometimes even caught her sleeping over her EX boyfriends house. The background between them goes like this... they've been seeing each other for 5 years and her brother passed away , so the ex was friends with her brother. so they have some deep history together. Which I understood at first. I've gotten into fights with her plenty of times regarding this situation of her still hanging out with him. She claims they are just friends and there is absolutely nothing else going on between them. She says all the time that I'm the only one for her and how much she loves me and wants to be with me. And in some ways I truly do believe her. But I seriously can't take the shadiness that goes on between them. I call her and she doesn't pick up I assume shes with him... and the percentage of the time I'm correct. The other day she tells me " hey don't be mad but I'm going to just smoke and chill with him for a bit" and I just hung up on her, because I got so heated. She ended up not going... but then the other night I found her car not at home and over his house... it was there till the late morning. She does lend her car out to him sometimes when he needs it. But i felt like she slept over. How am I suppose to trust a girl like this? I love her to death but I can't deal with this situation anymore! Any advice?

 

[jophil28]

But i felt like she slept over. How am I suppose to trust a girl like this? I love her to death but I can't deal with this situation anymore! Any advice?

You are an idiot. Smart guys do not get in triangles. You tolerated this nonsense from her for far too long. Dump her. She is cheating.

 

[BradSmint]

You are an idiot. Smart guys do not get in triangles. You tolerated this nonsense from her for far too long. Dump her. She is cheating.

Thanks for being frank. But just want to also include I dumped her plenty of times before this... and then she would cry and beg for forgiveness and swear on everything important to her that i'm the only one for her.
I'am sick of this **** and I am dumping her. It's just hard.

 

[J Roc]

Thanks for being frank. But just want to also include I dumped her plenty of times before this... and then she would cry and beg for forgiveness and swear on everything important to her that i'm the only one for her.
I'am sick of this **** and I am dumping her. It's just hard.

its very easy. dump her and keep it moving.

 

[jophil28]

Thanks for being frank. But just want to also include I dumped her plenty of times before this... and then she would cry and beg for forgiveness and swear on everything important to her that i'm the only one for her.
I'am sick of this **** and I am dumping her. It's just hard.

No.
You have never really "dumped " her - you have done no more than threaten her in a hissy fit by telling her that she is gone because you hoped that she would "see the light".
Instead of changing her ways, she cried and hoovered you back in to her frame and then eventually repeated the behavior that pissed you off all over again.
Dumped means "goodbye" - not "shape up "

 

[KontrollerX]

She's playing you.

Listen to jophil.

Most of us have been the idiot in the triangle before and it is painful and humiliating and when we really think about it we put ourselves through that pain by not utilizing the only power we really had in the situation which of course is to walk away.

Walk away from this chick entirely dude.

No more going back, no more booty calls, this b!tch is done and unworthy for your life, she will only drag you down to continue on this charade of a relationship with.

If you were emotionally stronger and not so attached to her I would give you the advice to shut down your emotions surrounding her and just use her as a fvck buddy while you play boyfriend and pretend to get upset with her to make her think that you care all the while you game other chicks and hook up with them as the opportunities present themselves.

You are not currently emotionally strong however so my only advice is to once again get this girl completely out of your life and never ever go back to her and if you are the kind of guy that isn't about hooking up and wants a real relationship with someone you have to establish the frame of how the relationship goes upfront and what that means is the girl has to know that any severe disrespect of you or hanging out with past ex's or any other shady behavior will not be tolerated by you.

You will not try to control her, you will not yell and whine at her to stop acting like a piece of garbage to you.

You will turn around and walk right out of any future girl's lives who behave in such a way that you do not want to see from them in a relationship with you.

Next time the thought runs through your mind that you love her to death imagine her choking on her ex boyfriend's c0ck while makeup runs down her face because that is exactly what she is doing when she is with him. They are not friends so run all those misplaced feelings of love out of your head with the harsh reality of what she is really doing behind closed doors with a man that is not you.

 

[DonGorgon]

Okay... so I've been dating this girl to close to 2 years now. And pretty much the whole time she would talk, hang out with,smoke pot with, sometimes even caught her sleeping over her EX boyfriends house.

^^THATS ALL I NEED TO HEAR..

DEMOTE HER TO "FOR SEX ONLY" AND GO GET YOU A GOOD WOMAN WHO WANTS TO BE IN A LTR WITH YOU... AND ONLY YOU

 

[speed dawg]

First of all, you are a spineless chump for tolerating this sh1t. I went back and read your post from 2 years ago about taking out some girl for V day. You didn't take our advice then, and you probably won't now. You need to locate your testicles, pal.

Do not vocally dump her.

Cease all contact with her.

Do not call her.

Do not answer her phone calls.

Do not use her for sex, because you are emotionally involved. Protect yourself.

Get rid of everything you have together.

Do this now.

 

[decades]

Dear Chumpus Maximus, go forth and dumpus.

 

[PTC]

Thanks for being frank. But just want to also include I dumped her plenty of times before this... and then she would cry and beg for forgiveness and swear on everything important to her that i'm the only one for her.
I'am sick of this **** and I am dumping her. It's just hard.

Oh lordy!! This sounds so familiar. I was in your shoes dude and the exact same thing happened to me. I broke up with her after I found out she still had feelings for her ex thru a myspace note she had wrote her girlfriend. I printed it out and confronted her with it and she put on the biggest cry fest I had ever seen! Balling and begging me not to leave her that she had had a bad night the night she wrote it. I left her house and said I was done and she was relentless on getting me back. Of course my dumbas$ took her back only to find out she did it again!

Chicks like these will suck every life force out of you until your nothing! I'm giving you advice that was given to me. RUN!!! I know it's hard especially if you have feelings for her but she will never change and the trust issue will eat you alive,...trust me. Life is too short....

 

[hithard]

Even the visually impaired aren’t as blind as you. She is emotionally attached/f.ucked up with the ex after the whole brother dying thing. This is probably bi-polar in the making. As soon as you walk away she will come running so harden the f.uck up. You have come to the point of the rest of your life right now. And its time to walk away. The last thing you want is to get her pregnant and then have to be attached to this $hit forever. Trust me it never gets any better. While you get good patches that may last a few months. The bad patches always come around again without fail.Its not love or she wouldnt put you in this position in the first place.Your probably her stability in a f.ucked up existance.She will suck the energy right out of you.

Don’t argue, because you will still be there in the morning just cut off all contact. Don’t phone, sms, email or whatever you did in the past. It not easy but neither is living another 10 years of this $hit.

Jophil is a wise man. Don’t tolerate this $hit walk away and don’t look back.

 

[Franky Four Fingers]

I read the headline and the responses and DIDN'T read the original post because I didn't have to.

Dump that sk*nky, manipulating, two timing, back stabbing, no good piece of cow dung!

I KNOW your gut is telling you something is up. Follow it.

 

[Colossus]

BradSmint-

I know you dont want to hear this but your girl is fvcking her ex. This could not be any more painfully obvious unless you caught her red-handed. Dont try to reason this out, either. You are being used like a rented mule and she is sleeping with him.

Let this be a life lesson. "Hanging out"? "Chilling"? Staying over at his house?!!

Walk away. No explaination, no phone calls, no texts, you walk away.

Do not ever speak to her again unless it is legally necessary. Save what miniscule shred of dignity you have left.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Brad,
Though not a smoker myself about 25 years ago I went through an interesting phase where I hung with a druggy chick dope was really cheap then,in the community I lived close to they grew it...this Lady was very dreamy,permanently spaced out,into Oriental Philosophies and macrobiotic diets...She had a number of boy friends locally,including one with whom,in the past she had had a physical live in relationship with.She would behave just like your chick,these guys would occasionally get a good deal of hash and invite her round,I have since been told that though all the touchy feely signs of never ending love were there she never consummated any of her interfaces,I believe that...I gave her up when she contracted Hepatitis B (Sharing Tokes)...She is still around,as lovely,caring and scatter brained as ever...A word of advice,get out of the dope scene,the company,the inevitable brain damage will drag you down if you aren't careful...

 

[GitFiddler]

I feel your pain, as I have been there before too, and still have yet to really forgive myself for being that big of a chump. All the above advice is DEAD ON. Listen too it!

 

[In2theGame]

Okay... so I've been dating this girl to close to 2 years now. And pretty much the whole time she would talk, hang out with,smoke pot with, sometimes even caught her sleeping over her EX boyfriends house. The background between them goes like this... they've been seeing each other for 5 years and her brother passed away , so the ex was friends with her brother. so they have some deep history together. Which I understood at first. I've gotten into fights with her plenty of times regarding this situation of her still hanging out with him. She claims they are just friends and there is absolutely nothing else going on between them. She says all the time that I'm the only one for her and how much she loves me and wants to be with me. And in some ways I truly do believe her. But I seriously can't take the shadiness that goes on between them. I call her and she doesn't pick up I assume shes with him... and the percentage of the time I'm correct. The other day she tells me " hey don't be mad but I'm going to just smoke and chill with him for a bit" and I just hung up on her, because I got so heated. She ended up not going... but then the other night I found her car not at home and over his house... it was there till the late morning. She does lend her car out to him sometimes when he needs it. But i felt like she slept over. How am I suppose to trust a girl like this? I love her to death but I can't deal with this situation anymore! Any advice?

Reading this post.... ugh... hurts lol Bro, seriously, you need to step off of that and find someone else. If my girlfriend ever did anything like this, you can be sure i would break it off in a heart beat. i understand you "love" her to death but realize whats going on and what a sucker shes taking you for. With them hanging out together all the time, who's to say that she wont eventually dump you to get back with him? if they have a history together, that makes things worse for you. Break it off, dont get burned.

 

[In2theGame]

BTW, KontrollerX, "Unlimited's plane as we drop the DJ nukes on planet AFC." Thats the best line ive read lol!

 

[Viking25]

I love her to death but I can't deal with this situation anymore! Any advice?

You said it! YOU can't deal with this anymore . And why should you?
Most likely your gf is NOT cheating on you. It is possible for a girl to have a male friend. By the way..have you talked to the guy? Ask him directly if they gotten sexual and look at his eyes and body language to see if he might be lying.

Regardless of what she does...YOU are not happy with this relationship and you need to move on and find someone you can trust and without the baggage.
I would explain this to your gf , tell her you can't handle this situation and you need to break up. Then walk.

 

[KingBeef]

You are an idiot. Smart guys do not get in triangles. You tolerated this nonsense from her for far too long. Dump her. She is cheating.

IF YOU KNEW OF THIS TRIANGE WHEN THIS FIRST STARTED, THEN WHY AFTER 2 YEARS R U FINALLY COMPLAINING ABOUT IT.

I WOULD'VE NEVER TOLERATED IT FROM THE GET GO.

OH AND BY THE WAY, I THINK EVENTUALLY SHE'LL GO BACK TO HIM AND EITHER GET MARRIED OR KNOCKED UP BY HIM :crazy: :crazy:

 

[Zaraza]

Your girl is spending the night smoking pot with her ex and you tolerate it? Why don't you dig around in your purse and see if you can find your balls. .

LOL