"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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help understanding would be appreciated

R

rjd

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What's up everyone?

I'm new to this forum, and also new in getting back into the game. I do have a question for other more experienced guys. Here it goes:

This girl I approached about two years ago contacted me out of the blue about a month and a half ago. She invites me out and I accepted. We proceeded to have a wild night. Everything seemed well. She said i love you and called me her boyfriend. The next week, we had plans to go out. She drops by my apartment and says we need to go have lunch now and not wait for happy hour (because she had invited one of her guy friends she went to school with). This really angered me but I tried not to let it get to me.

So the three of us have lunch, me and her go back to my place. She gets a call on her phone and talks to her ex-boyfriend for half an hour while she's supposed to be spending time with me!! Shortly after she gets off the phone, she tries to get cuddly but I was very disappointed inside so I didn't reciprocate. I didn't say anything though. So long story short, over the next few weeks we proceed to have a text message relationship. She kept flaking on me and saying she was busy when I tried to set up dates. At the end, she stood me up on a planned date, then got angry when I ignored her texts, also insinuated that I had broken into her car and stole her stuff when she knows I don't know where she lives.

Sorry for so long. I'll clarify any points. I just would like some understanding into her. I'm pretty sure she just likes playing people, but I'll admit I did act beta quite a bit
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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rjd

Don Juan
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A little more background:

I stopped talking to her two years ago because she was just acting hot and cold too much. So I went no contact. About 3 months of going no contact, she contacts me and sets up a date for the next day. So I called her the next day, but no answer and I left a voicemail. This really disappointed me because it's the exact stuff she would do earlier (ignore my phonecalls and never return them). She texted me that night wondering why I didn't call but I ignored them. I felt like she was just playing games. I'm pretty sure she didn't answer because she wanted me to try calling her again like an AFC. This characteristic suits her perfectly from what I found out recently.

Actually writing this stuff out is making me feel a lil better.
 
J

JumpOff

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rjd said:
This girl I approached about two years ago contacted me out of the blue about a month and a half ago. She invites me out and I accepted. We proceeded to have a wild night. Everything seemed well. She said i love you and called me her boyfriend. The next week, we had plans to go out. She drops by my apartment and says we need to go have lunch now and not wait for happy hour (because she had invited one of her guy friends she went to school with). This really angered me but I tried not to let it get to me.

So the three of us have lunch, me and her go back to my place. She gets a call on her phone and talks to her ex-boyfriend for half an hour while she's supposed to be spending time with me!! Shortly after she gets off the phone, she tries to get cuddly but I was very disappointed inside so I didn't reciprocate. I didn't say anything though. So long story short, over the next few weeks we proceed to have a text message relationship. She kept flaking on me and saying she was busy when I tried to set up dates. At the end, she stood me up on a planned date, then got angry when I ignored her texts, also insinuated that I had broken into her car and stole her stuff when she knows I don't know where she lives.

Sorry for so long. I'll clarify any points. I just would like some understanding into her. I'm pretty sure she just likes playing people, but I'll admit I did act beta quite a bit
Click to expand...
She is what we call an AW (attention whor3). My guess is she contacted you a month ago because her previous fvck buddy moved on. Her ego needed stroked so she calls you. You guys have an amazing night, but to her this is just therapy. This is what she does. She loves the attention. Feeds off of it. From the time you've met her, already three different dudes have been in the picture: her ex, the 3rd wheel, and you.

PLEASE TAKE THIS ADVICE:
You do not need this girl in your life. As you said personally, writing helps you figure things out. Re-read your post and look at all the red flags. If a woman truly likes you, she will find every waking moment to be with you. This one sounds like the exact opposite.
 
R

RedZone

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When she contacted you a month and a half ago you should of never even accepted the invitation to go out. You knew what she was like two years before that and sadly many people don't really change.

Just stay away from her and meet a girl who wants to spend time with you.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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R

rjd

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JumpOff, thanks man, that's exactly what I thought what was up with her. Now that you sent that reply, everything makes sense. I will take your advice.

RedZone, you're dead right man. I remember that day when she contacted me again and I agreed to that date. I was thinking to myself, "What am I doing? I know where this will lead, to nowhere." And sure enough it did.

I was getting a little curious when she blurted out "I love you" that first night we got back together. She just wanted to hook me.
 
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