"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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HELP The Guy I Like Just Told Me This...Is This Good Or Bad :(

gemmalovesit

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Hi,

There is this guy I fancy SOOOOO much. Met him recently, things immediately clicked. He is really attractive (more than me I think) so I walked up to him cos he was staring at e all night and we got talking, he saying all the typical 'your so beautiful'' ' your perfect girlfriend material' blah blah blah.

Anyway I saw him again last night we danced all night and kissed flirted all night, his been saying the same old lets start going out and tour the city, you will be my ideal girlfriend, according to him I'm girlfriend material and tick all his boxes. Anyway last night I was meant to see him before I left but had to rush to meet someone.

Anyway today me and him were talking and he started saying stuff and now I feel weird

Okay so today he seemed a lil off with me for not saying bye and said some of the following :

' I was waiting around for you all of my friends were like lets go she doesn't care about you'

' I think your a player'

'I like you and it's easier for you to dissapoint me, you can get any guy you want'.

I was like wtf :confused:

then he said 'because of your confidence, i think your a player because girls with 'game' are rare'

I was sooo baffled :confused:

then he said I have 'a charm and strong seduction skills' and because of this he thought I was a player

It was a weird conversation because it was like, I LIKE YOU, hence why I am more comfortable around you.

I haven't done anything to 'seduce' him either I'm so upset atm because he seems a little off I didn't do anything. How can I not let this guy go and show him I'm not going to play him ? I haven't done ANYTHING. He is the guy I like. I hate the fact he thinks 'I can get any guy I want' like what the hell.

Also what are the vibes girls give off to show they have 'game' :confused:

Guys what are girls with game who are players I don't want anyone to ever think this about me again, what am I doing wrong ? I am not even like that

Guys keep on telling me this and I want to know what makes guys think a girl
is a 'player' or 'has game' or 'seduction skills'.

I don't want people to see me as this anymore :( im not sure what I do that gives this impression
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Buddha_Mind

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gemma,

When you denoted you had to "rush off to meet someone", was this another male, or a male friend? Maybe you not showing up or spending time with him, as you suggested you would, and instead "rushing off to meet someone" made him question your motives or what other males may/may not be in your life.

I suppose a female player would just be a woman who is using game to keep options and to raise attraction. If he thinks you'll just use him, he will remain guarded. There is nothing wrong inherently with setting up options or exacerbating attraction/seduction. This is good! The lack of those things often causes pain! But maybe he just needs to see some higher IOI's from you (indicators of interest) that you really dig him, and aren't taking the other men in your life very seriously.

If you're hanging out with dudes all of the time, this will set off red flags in his mind about your motives and ability to be trusted.

If you really like this guy, why not try and setup some 1:1 thing with him. Don't go into a bunch of rhetoric to defend yourself -- instead just show him that he and only he, is the one you are interested in. Make a move on him -- give him a righteous BJ & a meal afterwards and you may have this man hooked :)
 

Yo'Mama

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Is this a forum for guys and girls to post their relationship problems? No probs if it is. I'm just never coming back.
 

HeadLightsOn

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I agree. Wrong forum, I think this lady needs to post on Cosmo or some other such women's relationship forum.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Furyguy

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Sounds like a confidence problem / insecurity on his part.

Assuming you're for real, I would just keep reassuring him (yes, over and over and over again) that your intentions are genuine and you're not going to f*ck him over or mess with his head.
 

wait_out

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Ok, for any new girl here -- slow down, READ, and absorb information. Don't post until you understand the dynamics of the forum. This place is like any other guys club. The rules are a little different here.

1) Don't show up and start demanding attention on your first post. You will look naive and men don't respect that.
2) Guys win credibility by demonstrating rational thought, insight, and life experience. Showing up as a ball of hormone-addled confusion will not win you respect.
3) We don't care how upset you are. Guys are supposed to keep it inside and filter their thoughts to appear mature. Here, so are you.
4) There are several girls here who understand this and are welcomed (or at least tolerated). Find them and copy them.
5) This forum does not exist to solve your relationship problems. This forum is by men, for men. If you're not prepared to give something back, go elsewhere as suggested.

Nobody post anything until she either goes away or calms down a litte
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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ImWithTheDJ

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these people are retarded, all they think about is *****. You help anyone who needs help.
 

Scars

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Social_Leper said:
Sounds like an AFC to me. How about you give me your number and I'll show you a real man. :yes:
Nah, AFC's don't generally have the balls to flirt/kiss upon the first interaction. He's displaying classic signs of push-pull/hot-cold etc.. Generally a defense mechanism held by narcissists. Assuming she isn't a troll, I think this guy is a male borderline. He probably considers himself as a player, and perhaps by you being so receptive to his advances switched his protection switch on. I know it sounds ridiculous because you only spent one night with him, but if he recognizes that he may "fall for you" he will accuse you of being a player, and many other things to try and push you away, or get reassurance that you won't leave him (he is actually insecure, but he knows enough game, or fakes it enough to get laid every now and then.) An actual player would had seduced you and kept telling you what you wanted to hear until he got the sex (that's the goal), a borderline will feed your ego until he feels he has you enticed, or you raise his emotional scale up to a certain level where he considers you "dangerous".

If you want this guy he needs to be extremely devaluated and take a huge blow to his narcissistic ego. You're probably already being too clingy aren't you? He probably compliments how cute it is, but it actually suffocates him. He WANTS you to love him, but he truly doesn't know what love is. Ignore his ass for awhile and he will come back, for sure.

Although, that's how you get him back, it's not exactly the best thing to do either. But there is your answer.

Good luck.

-Scars
 

TopGun2000

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i think he's a bit insecure and sensitive. your changing plan last night hurt his feelings. lol
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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horaholic

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I dont know. The way I see it, is this guy has you wondering about him, and you're emotionally confused about him. To me, this says that he may have did something right. If it was an AFC move, I dont think you'd be worrying about him, much less, tracked this forum down, and registered and posted. You'd have written him off. This may be the guy's game, and he may be doin it good.

As for helpin you out, I dont know. You're a chick. Accept his advances, and even help him along, while not being too easy about it. Simple as that.
 

scribblec

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Aaron B said:
I agree. I need someone to help me out with $300. I'll PM you my paypal address.

the wit on this forum is epic :D

this made me lol
 

MurdocIsGod

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gemmalovesit said:
Also what are the vibes girls give off to show they have 'game' :confused:

Guys what are girls with game who are players I don't want anyone to ever think this about me again, what am I doing wrong ? I am not even like that

Guys keep on telling me this and I want to know what makes guys think a girl
is a 'player' or 'has game' or 'seduction skills'.

I don't want people to see me as this anymore :( im not sure what I do that gives this impression
Haha what the ****?

This is very... Unusual. There are some girls who go out with a lot of guys, but as far as "seduction skills" go there's not really much in it. Basically girls who are very flirty. Are you like that?

Either way this situation is kinda weird... I think he wants you to tell him something like what you're telling us. He wants you to reassure him that you aren't trying to "play" him and you genuinely like him. Just tell him that.
 

gemmalovesit

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Wow, I am so sorry. I googled 'what makes a woman seem like a player' and this forum came up as a result, I posted on here assuming it was a 'ask men' forum where women could ask men questions and get unbiased male opinions.

Only now do I realise what it actually is.

Once again, I must emphasise how sorry I am to rain on your parade :nervous:

Didn't know posting the wrong type of question on here would cause such a backlash.

Just wanted male opinions.

Bye.

xoxo
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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