"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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help reading IOIs?

CaliGuyInLondon

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Okay so I'm having a hard time reading this girl and I wanted your advice. We've been hanging out here and there, I make myself pretty busy a lot but now and then will hang out with her and her friends and stuff, and she's also pretty busy too, so I've been playing it super slow. Last weekend she went back home and visited her mom and I made a joke about how her mom should bake me cookies, she said her mom isn't really good in the whole "cooking department", but then told me she had a surprise for me. Last night we hung out for a bit and she gave me brownies that her and her mom made for me. A good sign I would say.

Then last night after I left she texted me, "ugh. my guy friends are mean. they said they wouldn't be my friend if i wasn't pretty cuz im weird :( I 'm sad :(."

So I didn't respond and then like 45 mins later she texted

her: "sorry!!!! i was just in a bad mood. didn't mean to vent. talk to you later! Night"
me: "no worries you can vent whenever."

the next day we were texting and i said something like, some people might think you're weirdness is cute. and then I texted right after "unfortunately you'll never know if im one of them" I was trying to do some push pull, not sure how effective it was.

her: "hahahaha well i hope you are! otherwise I don't know if we should be friends! Ah"

I was wondering what you guys thought about this? Does she just want to be friends, or is she playing hard to get? She mentioned needing to study for a test tonight when we are both free and I told her if i wasn't too tired i might be down to help her, and she was like okay ill text you if i need help.

I guess im trying to figure out if she likes me and is kind of shy (since im a senior and she's a freshman) and doesn't want to come on too strong, or if she's just really trying to be friends?

She also told me one night, drunkenly, a few weeks ago that I remind her of her dad and she loves it, but i dunno if she knew I heard...haha.

Thoughts?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Galactus

Master Don Juan
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You're good to go. She digs you. Just be cool, don't get too eager. Don't be there all the time. Don't call or text her too much. Act like you have stuff to do sometimes. Remember to always seem like you could be doing a million other things. If you're constantly breathing down her neck, she's gonna get tired of you real quick, because you're not a challenge. Make her work for it a little. You're the prize, dude. Always remember that.
 

Igetit!

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CaliGuyInLondon said:
Okay so I'm having a hard time reading this girl and I wanted your advice. We've been hanging out here and there, I make myself pretty busy a lot but now and then will hang out with her and her friends and stuff, and she's also pretty busy too, so I've been playing it super slow. Last weekend she went back home and visited her mom and I made a joke about how her mom should bake me cookies, she said her mom isn't really good in the whole "cooking department", but then told me she had a surprise for me. Last night we hung out for a bit and she gave me brownies that her and her mom made for me. A good sign I would say.
I agree.

The fact that she took the time to cook for you shows that at the very least,you were on her mind.

CaliGuyInLondon said:
Then last night after I left she texted me, "ugh. my guy friends are mean. they said they wouldn't be my friend if i wasn't pretty cuz im weird :( I 'm sad :(."
Now this...not so good. If she's coming at you with emotional problems,YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

Although you didn't respond to her,the fact that she even felt comfortable enough to bring them to you isn't good.


Doesn't mean all is lost,just something you'll need to look out for if you want to date her.

CaliGuyInLondon said:
So I didn't respond and then like 45 mins later she texted

her: "sorry!!!! i was just in a bad mood. didn't mean to vent. talk to you later! Night"
me: "no worries you can vent whenever."
You made a mistake here.

You shouldn't have told her she could "vent" whenever she wanted to.



So if she all of the sudden starts coming at you with all sorts of problems and issues concerning her family or other guys she's interested in,don't be upset with her.


Afterall,YOU gave her permission to do it,lol.

CaliGuyInLondon said:
the next day we were texting and i said something like, some people might think you're weirdness is cute. and then I texted right after "unfortunately you'll never know if im one of them" I was trying to do some push pull, not sure how effective it was.

her: "hahahaha well i hope you are! otherwise I don't know if we should be friends! Ah"
Ohhh boy. She mentioned the "F" word (friends).


Uhh...if you plan on dating this girl,you need to do something..and QUICK.



So far,I've seen NOTHING romantic or sexual from you towards her.


You've been nice,and you've offered her a shoulder to lean on in case she has any problems,but as far as any sexual attraction or chemistry,I see NONE.

CaliGuyInLondon said:
what you guys thought about this? Does she just want to be friends, or is she playing hard to get? She mentioned needing to study for a test tonight when we are both free and I told her if i wasn't too tired i might be down to help her, and she was like okay ill text you if i need help.
I'm sorry dude,but I smell the fowl stench of friendzone here.


There's all this contact between the two of you,but I sense nothing romantic here,NOTHING. Let me ask you this...



Have you asked her out on a date?


Her saying yes or no makes no difference. The point is by you asking her out,you make it CLEAR what you want with her.



Has she given you any tests yet? If she hasn't tried to test you,then she's not interested.



CaliGuyInLondon said:
I guess im trying to figure out if she likes me and is kind of shy (since im a senior and she's a freshman) and doesn't want to come on too strong, or if she's just really trying to be friends?

I think she may have been interested in the beginning,I mean the brownies thing was a good sign,but you never took control of the sitation and let it where you wanted it to go.




Instead of you being strong,dominate,and in control,you yielded over to trying to do things for her,(offering to be an ear for her to vent to,help her study for a test,etc).




If you like a girl,you need to be the man and take control.


If you want to take her out,you need to ask her out.




Evey second you spend with her where you're NOT BEING THE MAN and showing interest is an inch closer to you being friendzoned.
 
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