Help Please.

[GloriouslyInsane]

I think the problem you're dealing with here is that you try to game her but at the same time try to hide behind your finger creating smoke screens as to WHY you want to get to know her.
What im trying to say is that you're not at peace with your and her sexuality,being "innocent" in your approach in other words.This leads to these kind of situations as the one you experienced.Try to improve on your inner game and as mentioned don't try to guess what she's thinking and "wish" for her to make a move,that is just the work of fear,assuring yourself with false hopes.

 

[pete101]

your definetely right there. reason being is that its a gym and its a very high risk environment.. i read some of the threads about gym approaching and the responses were either go for it but risk embarassment if you see the girl again.. or do it outside of the gym.

i seem to have chosen the midway point where i approach but at same time try to be subtle about it cos it could blow up in my face and it would be hella embarassing if i kept seeing her everyday after being knocked back..

 

[ObieJuan]

it would be hella embarassing if i kept seeing her everyday after being knocked back..

It's only embarrassing if you care what she thinks. You approached out of your own best interests and got shot down. She was only looking out for her interests by rejecting you. Even if you see her every day after that you should be saying to yourself "she's not interested in me like that but she's still a good person. Why wouldn't I not want to talk to her just for kicks?".

There is no shame and approaching any girl- rejection doesn't matter because most guys don't even have the balls to do what you did. If you do it tactfully I think most girls appreciate it when you approach and like the attention, anyway.

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

Why is the gym a high-risk environment? First off you're shooting yourself in the foot from the bare start,instead of focusing on working out and making the best of your time/money you mess with some random chick,i bet every time you set your foot in that gym you see if she's there and if she is you waste most of your time focusing on her.
And why should you care if it goes sour and you see her again? If it's too much for you then switch gyms.As i said work on your inner game cause i don't see how you can be embarassed by something like this,at worst her friend will say stuff like "that guy pete is lame/a loser etc" which will be counter-productive for him in the end anyway.
I think you said she rejected to give you her number 2 times so far? Next man,and use your anger/whatever to push some heavy lifts.

 

[squirrels]

First of all, calm down. You're still OK. Chances are you blew it with this girl, but you never know. She may understand that you're still learning the social rules and have more patience than we give her credit for.

Either way, it's not a big deal. Your focus should not be on "what to do next to win this girl". You don't need to get THIS one. You're fine as long as you learned something.

What did you learn? Well...you learned that talking to women doesn't kill you, you learned what works well and what creates awkwardness in social situations. Take this knowledge to the next encounter. Good luck!

 

[pete101]

if you have any pride for one thing, then the rejection is going to affect you regardless of whether it took balls to do what i did.

it's embarassing cos everytime you see her you're staring at a rejection when you're trying to move on to more positive thoughts and don't need a constant reminder of what happened.

this gym approaching doesn't affect my work out, i trained earlier on and i only saw her after i had finished.

im just seeing the downside of gym approaching now and i am kinda glad that i didn't ask for her number full out and kinda kept it indirect.. maybe cos i didn't ask for it directly and came across as a ***** might have contributed to not getting it.. who knows? but the way i did it i thought it'll be embarassing in future, it wont be as bad as if i had asked for it straight out trying to arrange a date etc.

 

[jonwon]

pete101.

Simply put man you worry too much.

So concerend about the 'right' thing and 'what' if.

This is your weakness i think, stop worrying so much, shift your frame to enjoying it, it sounds like your torturing yourself.

Stop analyzing all and sundry, go with what you know and fu** what she, he or anyone thinks, smile have fun.

And

STOP FUC*ING worrying!

 

[pete101]

very true.

still dont know what to do though.. if i see her i wouldn't want to approach her cos she'll think i'll just be disturbing her workout again. i guess saying hi next couple times without getting into convo she'll get the msg i won't be chatting to her unless she comes up to me.

 

[bossdog]

your worried too much about puttin up an image. Stop worrying so much about what she thinks about you and just be yourself. I know you want her to like you but thats her choice.