Help please! I'm being used!

[SweetTooth]

What would you do if a girl you've been friends with for a while started using you for attention. I asked her out, she's in an unhappy relationship, and she was telling me she wants to be with me etc so I give her attention.

She won't admit to it and say sorry and we've had many arguments over it where I've called her a liar. I asked a guy mate about her (he has asked her out in the past too) and he said:

"she aint happy with her boyfriend, but she's picky as ****, she leads anyone on who shows her any attention even if she has no intention of ever getting with them."

I told the girl she's a user. She just text back saying "**** you." and we had big arguments haha. What should I do? I have to see her and have to sit with her VERY OFTEN at school. I don't care about her friendship I just want to **** her :crackup:

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

ummm.. Common sence tells you to not mess with her.

 

[IamJosan]

Don't argue with her about how she lied to you about her liking you. Just keep it cool. If she doesn't like you, whatever, you have other girls (or at least you should have other girls)

 

[PapiChulo]

Run! Or take advantage of her and run! She is getting free milk without paying for it and her bf is attribute or exploiting her insecurities. She is nuts , and you ain't getting sex unless it is the right circumstances.

 

[Igetit!]

What would you do if a girl you've been friends with for a while started using you for attention.

Dude,that's just what girls do. Somehow,some way,and in some capacity,they've just GOT TO have some sort of connection to a male.


I understand you not wanting to be used,but if you're going to REPEATEDLY be in contact/in the presense of a girl,(and it doesn't matter if you're dating or not),she's EMOTIONALLY going to get something out of it,be it attraction or a boosted ego.

I asked her out,

What did she say when you asked her out?


If she said ANYTHING OTHER THAN YES,and you continued hanging around her,then don't be upset at her using you for attention. Like I said,if doesn't matter if you're dating or not,if you continued being around her reguardless of how she responded to your date suggestion,she's EMOTIONALLY going to get something out of it.

she's in an unhappy relationship,

So she's in an unhappy relationship. Uhh...so? What's it to you?

What difference does it make if the relationship is happy or not,she's STILL in it BY CHOICE. Whether she's happy or not,she's STILL somebody else's girlfriend.

and she was telling me she wants to be with me etc so I give her attention.

If she told you she wanted to be with you,the ONLY attention you should have been giving her after that was asking her from time to time if she's ended the relationship with her boyfriend yet,and that's it.


You're being played for a sucka. You're upset because she's using you for attention,but she can't do that without YOUR COOPERATION. She actually has to have help FROM YOU to use you for attention.



When she told you she wanted to be with you,you should have went,"Well cool,I think we can do that. I'm not seeing anybody at the moment,so once you've ended things with your boyfriend,gimme a call,then we'll hang out".

Then you should have backed off.

She won't admit to it and say sorry and we've had many arguments over it where I've called her a liar.

So you argue with this girl and have called her a liar on occasions.


You're too emotionally invested. Haven't even had a single date with her,and yet you're arguing with each other like you've been married 10 years.



Huh. So she's in an unhappy relationship,and the interactions she has with you are full of arguing and name-calling.


Yeah,you two have a real bright future ahead of yourselves.

"she aint happy with her boyfriend, but she's picky as ****, she leads anyone on who shows her any attention even if she has no intention of ever getting with them."

Maybe she does lead guys on,but she can't lead ANYBODY unless THEY CHOOSE to follow.

I told the girl she's a user.

So you've called her a liar,a user,and repeatedly argue and fight with the girl.

Well geez,I for the life of me can't figure out why you haven't had sex with her yet.

What should I do?

Step 1:Ask her out...again. If she say no or gives you another excuse....

Step 2: BACK OFF and Leave her Alone.

Step 3: Pursue other girls. Let her see that you're NOT going to put your dating life on hold because of this mess she finds HERSELF in.



Chances are that even by doing these thing,you still won't get her because you became "friends" with her in the beginning,but hey,you gotta start somewhere.

 

[SweetTooth]

Thanks for the reply! When I first asked her out she was just saying how she argues with her bf so much and she's confused because I make her feel nice (she does actually argue with him a lot). It was when her friend got involved that the problems started. I WAS backing off and moving on, but then her friend told me that the girl would never go out with me and said so to her face. And since then it has been arguing arguing arguing.

She did say for a while that she can't tell if she likes me because she has a boyfriend, but a while later she was like "yeah I'd go out with you, I feel bad for telling you because I didn't want to string you along but if you want to know..."

And we've just argued and argued. Just me telling her to stop leading me on and her saying she told the truth. Now she reckons she'd never go out with me because she can't take the arguments and because I "hate and belittle her all the time". She says to me she lies to her friend (the one who told me it's "never") because she doesn't want things getting back to her boyfriend but I'm not so sure.

She argues constantly with her boyfriend too which isn't a good sign. I just like her because she's been my friend for a while and I dunno, I guess this kind of thing happens. We're on the verge of never speaking again.

 

[Poonani Maker]

You're a sad case, bro. MOST women lie as if lying raises their stock value. You need to never deal with these cases on their terms, unless You, yourself, become the greater liar. Her boyfriend LIES 100x greater than you; therefore, he gets LAID.

 

[Warrior74]

First. Let's reframe your mindset here. Politicians know that to control a debate you have to control the terms used in the debate. Global Warming vs. Climate Change. Estate Tax vs. Death Tax. And your case. Friend vs. Suitor.

Friend (frnd)
n.
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.

2. Vaugely applies to this person. She is someone you know.

Suitor : suit·or (str)
n.
1. A man who is courting a woman.

This person is not your friend. Nor you hers. You are a suitor who failed to live up to to role. Act accordingly and find a new target. Be polite in your failure and move on to a new target.

If you were being used that's your own fault. And thats the way she sees it and why she said F you. You know what to do. Next.

 

[SweetTooth]

Well we were friends for a few years, I was not really interested in her in the past (still flirted) it's just since all this happened things have got real nasty. She says to me she wants to be friends again like we were before but I don't know if it's possible, I feel that she betrayed me.

 

[betheman]

she has a BF she argues with...and still she would rather be with HIM than YOU!

EXIT STAGE LEFT

 

[SweetTooth]

she has a BF she argues with...and still she would rather be with HIM than YOU!

EXIT STAGE LEFT

Haha thank you! that makes me feel better when I realize she's unhappy with him. She did make it sound as though she would soon leave him for me BUT I don't know how true it was. She said she felt I like her more and don't think it'll last between them, I was going to tell her to leave him for me if she really meant it next time I spoke to her, but her friend got to me before and we ended up having big arguments instead.