Help Or Suggestions Please

[The Message Boy]

Guys, okay, I made a similar post to this but it didnt get anywhere. I'm going to make this post to be more detailed.

Listen, I have no idea what is going on with my results with women. I meet women everywhere, in person and online but what I can't seem to do is get them off the "dime" if you know what I mean.

I don't get LJBF'ed, I'm not getting the ewww get away from me rejections, as a whole, my entire alteraction with them is positive. Most girls see me as a cool guy and I flirt with them alot, sexual stuff throughout the entire thing but not in a bad way, in the good subtle way. They get it, etc.

I get numbers all the time. I kino fast, they don't have a problem with it.

Guys it just that:

1.) None of these girls call me. None of these girls seek to want to get to know me.

2.) None of these girls care about me.

3.) I'm not even considered a friend or anyting to these people

These are not h0es, they are regular women. I just don't understand, if they are "attracted" to me what is going on as far as having the women want to be with me?

As I said before, I do here things like,

" I think you are a player."
"I bet you say this to all the girls."

They do joke when they say that but I think it's bull****, come on. If you are into a guy does it matter if you think he's a player? And also, I don't even think that is a negative, I actually think deep down it makes her like me more.

It's just that, idk, when the girl is just out with other people or guys and not seeking to spend time with me, I take it as she doesn't like me. But I text her again or call her again or go up to her again, and it's the same relationship we had before- I'm cool, she's cool, flirting back and forth, kino, all that ****.

I just don't understand. I mean if a girl doesn't like me that's fine, but these girls obviously DO, but they are not doing anything in my opinion to resemble it.

> Sometimes my gut says to just keep pursuing them.

> Another part of my guts says they really don't like me and are bored, and just want entertainment.

I have no idea which part of me is right. Really I don't and any sugesstions would be helped.

I mean if I was an AFC, getting into the friends zone, and not getting the I'm cool/sexy vibes, I would easily conclude my game is off and I need to work on that. What I'm concluding is my game is not off, but at the same time, I'm not getting the results that should come from good game.

 

[jophil28]

I just don't understand. I mean if a girl doesn't like me that's fine, but these girls obviously DO, but they are not doing anything in my opinion to resemble it.
.

Are you leading them ?
Are you setting up dates/ meets/ outings?
Are you initiating ?

OR , are you rather passive and expect that she will come to you because you saw a few IOI's and then assumed that she was going to pursue you?

You have to (and should ) initiate EVERYTHING until you and a woman have slept together a few times and she is showing absolutely unmistakeable signs of infatuation.

 

[horaholic]

Yeha, it sounds like you're ALMOST there. You just need to plow. If they are responding positively, keep at it. When they call you a player, or say anything negative, 'agree, and exaggerate.' "Yeah, Im a player, but your mom and your sisters all said I'm the best, and they care about you, and want you to have the best too, so lets go find a broomcloset really quick, cuz i have two or three more girls... oh, and a midget, lined up right after you." (look at imaginary watch here)

 

[vitor]

What do you look like??
Where do you live?
What do you do?
Where do you meet these girls?
What are they like? Age, career, looks etc?
Once you meet the girl how do you ask her out, make plans etc?? I find it hard to believe ever girl is LJBFriending you..

 

[Warrior74]

Guys, okay, I made a similar post to this but it didnt get anywhere. I'm going to make this post to be more detailed.

Listen, I have no idea what is going on with my results with women. I meet women everywhere, in person and online but what I can't seem to do is get them off the "dime" if you know what I mean.

I don't get LJBF'ed, I'm not getting the ewww get away from me rejections, as a whole, my entire alteraction with them is positive. Most girls see me as a cool guy and I flirt with them alot, sexual stuff throughout the entire thing but not in a bad way, in the good subtle way. They get it, etc.

I get numbers all the time. I kino fast, they don't have a problem with it.

Guys it just that:

1.) None of these girls call me. None of these girls seek to want to get to know me.

2.) None of these girls care about me.

3.) I'm not even considered a friend or anyting to these people

These are not h0es, they are regular women. I just don't understand, if they are "attracted" to me what is going on as far as having the women want to be with me?

As I said before, I do here things like,

" I think you are a player."
"I bet you say this to all the girls."

They do joke when they say that but I think it's bull****, come on. If you are into a guy does it matter if you think he's a player? And also, I don't even think that is a negative, I actually think deep down it makes her like me more.

It's just that, idk, when the girl is just out with other people or guys and not seeking to spend time with me, I take it as she doesn't like me. But I text her again or call her again or go up to her again, and it's the same relationship we had before- I'm cool, she's cool, flirting back and forth, kino, all that ****.

I just don't understand. I mean if a girl doesn't like me that's fine, but these girls obviously DO, but they are not doing anything in my opinion to resemble it.

> Sometimes my gut says to just keep pursuing them.

> Another part of my guts says they really don't like me and are bored, and just want entertainment.

I have no idea which part of me is right. Really I don't and any sugesstions would be helped.

I mean if I was an AFC, getting into the friends zone, and not getting the I'm cool/sexy vibes, I would easily conclude my game is off and I need to work on that. What I'm concluding is my game is not off, but at the same time, I'm not getting the results that should come from good game.

Are you having sex with them? That's really what it boils down to.

If you are having sex with them, and they think your a player, then they aren't going to put their heart out there, but as we know, you fvck a girl long enough, she will catch feelings.

If you aren't having sex with them, then you need to push for that.


Also check your inner game. You want them to care for you? Or you want to fvck them? What is it exactly that you want? It doesn't sound like you know what you want.

 

[LeftyLoosey]

Do you have any specific examples? It would be easier to assess the problem if you did. For example, describe what happens when you ask a girl out on a date. What are her excuses? What words do you use, exactly?

 

[The Message Boy]

Thanks guys I really needed this. Let me go through and answer each one of you guys.


jophill,

I am leading them damn near the entire time. I don't do "dates" I say lol, but I am always pushing for some sort of meeting. I am initiating, meaning, I am sarging forward. I agree with your last sentence, the problem is, they seem to be DELIBERATELY delying it or trying to NOT let me get them in a way.

Jo it's like the girl's body is screaming come and get me, and she's showing all of those non verbal signs. But then her mind clicks in and says to her that she needs to start playing games or someting.

It's not one or two girls this is happening with, it's happening with alot of them. My issue is that I try to stay consistent with the girls I meet on a weekly basis until I reach my goal of having a couple serious relationships spinning ( I know it's bad to have more than one girl but I just want to), along with a number of reliable ****s on the side.

It's just that I have no idea why these girls won't LET me get them? That's as clear as I can make it lol.


horaholic,

Lol, it's funny, but you know how you gave me that example of something ****y like that that you would say, I do the same thing lol. They usually laugh. See, the entire alteraction is positive. I mean, if you guys were off watching in the back corner you would say the girl is into me and yes, I should just keep staying persistent and plowing through into I get her. The problem is, that she keeps delaying and deliberating trying to NOT let me get her. At some point, I think, the girl just needs to just let me win lol, I mean and sometimes when it goes too long I lose my cool a little bit.


vitor,

I didn't want to post pics on the forum as a whole, I can, but if you guys want I can email you some of my pics. For the most part:

I just turned 26 on the 5th, black, got my own place (small apartment but it's very nice), own car, finishing my two bachelor degrees and building a sales company on the side. I believe that by 30 I will be financially free, meaning the positive recurring income from my sales company will be paying all my bills without me even working. I think that's a great goal and realistic also.

I workout, I have a pretty toned up body. I'm working on my lower abs but the definition is there all over, I'm just working to get my lower abs a little firmer but if I took my shirt off and posed I would like very toned and defined.

Most girls say I am "cute" and "sexy," then go on to talk about they like my sense of humor, I'm cool, stuff like that. So overall, I would say I'm attractive.

I live in Detroit and we are in the midst of a recession bad over here, but I met girls everywhere from online to social clubs I go to, etc. Just regular everyday women, white, black, all types. Ages range from 19 to 40, yes I mess with women older than me lol.

Your last question, once a meet a girl how do I ask her out. Basically, I don't take none of the alteraction serious like that. I'm sort of cool and in my sexual/laid back cool vibe all the time lol, so when I see girls I just sorta say whatever naturally without really thinking about it. I'll give you an example below when I answer Left Loosey.

 

[The Message Boy]

warrior,

That's the problem, I sex in a good reasonable time I would say, about 10% of the girls I'm talking to, the rest I'm still trying to get off the dime. 10% is a good number, but it might actually be about 5%. The reason I'm confused is because I'm not getting rejected, brushed off, none of this. That's why I'm confused as hell.

They do say things alot like, "I think you're a player." Now sometimes I might tell a girl I have a girlfriend just for jokes lol, but then I will tell her I'm single. I mean, they understand the joke or that I'm not in a "serious relationship" so I know that's not going to stop them.

And as far as what I want, I really don't have many friends outside my work relationships. Why I couldn't tell you, I could go out today and have all sorts of "guy buddies" its just that the guys where I'm at are mostly AFCs and mostly just guys that while they might be "older than me" are nowhere on the level I am on. So most of my guy friends are guys I work and do business with, we hang out and all that but it's not like a buddy-buddy thing, more like a professional-buddy thing you know.

I want friends, lovers, and **** partners. I want to spin some plates with somne chicks in a serious relationship and I want **** partners on the side, but overall, I want the girls to care for me and actually give a damn about me. I don't have that right now. And even when I *score* I guess I could say many times, I still never feel like those women give a damn if I got in a train crash tomorrow.
It just doesn't make sense to me. How can a girl be attracted to, but delay ****ing and really never call you or do things to show she cares for you? Maybe I'm unrealistic in my goals but I don't know, something is not adding up.



Lefty Loosey,

I'll give you four examples.

I've been talking to four girls for awhile now. Phone sex, meet up and kiss, totally into me. I have ****ed one of the four so far. I use these four because I actually like these four more lol.

But, none of these women really call me first. I have to call or text them first to continue the relationship. Then they will say, "Why haven't you texted or called me in a couple days," I'm like ***** why dont you call or text me ever lol??

When I try to get them for more alone time, they will make up excuses like I got alot of **** to do. I will text them a couple days later and they will be out with their girls at the mall, if you are so busy with school and work how can you go to the mall or a party?

It's just stuff like that. It's a mixed signal. I would think it's a blow off and she's not attracted, but then when I go back around this chick and if you were off in the corner lefty and say the alteractiion, you would easily assume this chick was very into me. I can go **** her and I can **** her, the girl is deliberately trying to dely it.

Maybe they want me to instead stop leading them into it and just say **** it, get up, we are going now! Maybe that's it. I swear a couple months ago I did that to a girl that was doing this **** and she went with it with smiles on her face. But I don't like doing that damn it lol, I mean that's borderline rape if you want to call it that, but maybe that's approach I have to start giving these folks?

 

[The Message Boy]

Another thing that eats at me is that, I kinda know once I "win" the girl or something, what do I really get?

Women for the most part today are low quality, you guys know that I see you discussing this all the time. So with all of the other stuff I have going on, questions that rise up in my mind is why keep chasing these women when I catch them, they are more likely to **** my life up then make it better?

I am still applaud by the fact that women date thugs and criminals and prop them up in videos and blogs like the ultimate masculine guy. As if any regular, competent, grown MAN doesn't have all the same masculine qualities.

So while I'm going through the things I've described in the thread already, I'm also going through just giving up on women period. Seriously. I'm not gay at ALL, but it's just giving up on women and just saying **** it. When I want sex I'll get it from easier targets, **** them, and go about to my business.

 

[LeftyLoosey]

I don't have that right now. And even when I *score* I guess I could say many times, I still never feel like those women give a damn if I got in a train crash tomorrow.

Right now you're relying too much on women to define yourself. You personally need women to acknowledge your existence to define your self-worth. This is an unhealthy state to be in.

But, none of these women really call me first. I have to call or text them first to continue the relationship. Then they will say, "Why haven't you texted or called me in a couple days," I'm like ***** why dont you call or text me ever lol??

It's not their job to call you first. You are still looking for women to go out of their way to give you value; that's what women need, not men.

When I try to get them for more alone time, they will make up excuses like I got alot of **** to do. I will text them a couple days later and they will be out with their girls at the mall, if you are so busy with school and work how can you go to the mall or a party?

Here's what you do: you plan a date three or four days into the future. If she flakes on you twice, NEXT her.

Maybe they want me to instead stop leading them into it and just say **** it, get up, we are going now! Maybe that's it. I swear a couple months ago I did that to a girl that was doing this **** and she went with it with smiles on her face. But I don't like doing that damn it lol, I mean that's borderline rape if you want to call it that, but maybe that's approach I have to start giving these folks?

That's exactly what you're supposed to be doing. It's not rape, it's what men are expected to do.

 

[The Message Boy]

Left Loosey,

Let me ask you some questions then. Okay I kinda understand the "relying on them to define me" part. I mean I think this is true, because for example, everytime I go out I kinda have this thing in the back of my head on how women think about me. Yes, so I think it's true, I think I define my self-worth totally on how women react to me. So when they are not reacting to me in ways I deem "positive" I do go on the deep end.

For example, when I get stressed over stuff like this, do you know what I do? I start eating junk food. Seriously. Normally eating this type of food I just don't liek it, I mean when I'm eating regular on my good eating plans, I feel so good after I eat. When I get stressed like this, I go to the store and buy up a bunch of candy, pop, and fried food and just eat. I'll then typically buy beer and get drunk and just roll around on the floor all night.

So yes, I use women to define my self-worth, that is it. But, I guess I don't know what to do to get out of that?

The two biggest things in my life right now are my business and honestly, it's women. And when both are going good, I tend to feel very good about myself. When either one is going shakey, I get very stressed, I start to hate myself, I start the pity party stuff, I turn to a different person. Then I start doing destructive things like eating wrong on purpose, missing a workout day, or just getting drunk and acting stupid.


Questions though Left Loosey:

1.) When you say it's not their job to call me first, what I mean is that they dont' call me much at all. Why is that?

2.) At what point do I just give up? See I don't really do dates like that, do you know what I mean? I'll meet up somewhere but really it's all about us chilling somewhere and making out. I don't do the whole take her to this restaurant or crap like that, that's just not me. So when she flakes on meeting up with me a couple times, just next her? I haven't really been using that portion as much and will add that in, I'm just wondering what if the girl actually has real things that come up? But maybe this is a way to weed out the ones that are truly interested and those that are just ****ing around with me?

 

[LeftyLoosey]

Another thing that eats at me is that, I kinda know once I "win" the girl or something, what do I really get?

You get to satisfy your primal urges, something men need every now and then. Some people might say you might end up with a "life-companion," but frankly, who wants to hang out with the same person everyday for the rest of their lives? I guess that's up to you though.

Yes, so I think it's true, I think I define my self-worth totally on how women react to me. So when they are not reacting to me in ways I deem "positive" I do go on the deep end.

This is generally where a lot of men start out, myself having been one of them. It's a mentality that can only lead to failure, because women can sense it and judge your worth accordingly. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So yes, I use women to define my self-worth, that is it. But, I guess I don't know what to do to get out of that?

I guarantee that if you were just coming out of a year-long relationship with some chick who was driving you nuts, the last thing you would care about right now is women. You'd have had your fill, so to speak. Right now, you're running on empty in the girl department.

But you're also running on empty in the friends department. You said you didn't really have any male friends, only shallow relationships with co-workers.

The prescription I recommend for you is to have more hobbies, read more; find a passion in life. Everything else will just fall into place naturally from there. You'll meet more people, you'll have more to talk about, and social connections will become easier and easier to establish.

There is no magic bullet. You're not going to wake up one day and be "happy." Happiness is fleeting; you can't chase it, because it's not tangible. It's simply a side-effect of doing things you derive pleasure from, and even then, like with your business and with women, there will be bumps in the road. It doesn't matter, because these things just make the good times feel that much more rewarding.

You have your education, your business, and your fitness, so you're already most of the way there. Now it's just a matter of mindset.

Everything will come around, just don't be in such a hurry to get there.

I'm not going to bother with your questions pertaining specifically to dating, because those problems will go away when you address the above concerns.