"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Help Me!

rapsta

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Man I got serious issues. Ever since my girl broke up with me, about a year ago, I've been in a more or less self-destructive state of mind.

- I can't initiate eye-contact with people, it makes me dizzy because of the anxiety and heart rate raise, and it makes me look away.

- I'm all paranoid when I start liking a girl. Like.. who is calling her now? why hasn't she called yet? is she playing games with me? does she love me? will she cheat on me?
Those are things that i speak to my mind.

- I never feel really good about myself, I'm always faking it. I can't even enjoy anything anymore. Everything is fake. Everything seems unreal. I'm always tired. Everything I used to find joy in, I simpy don't anymore.
It's like being a zombie. Like being a walking dead.

Seriously I need help, does anyone got any advice for me? It would be highly appreciated!
I don't want to rely on any drugs or pills though.

EDIT: also, when I sleep, I have troubles waking up. I sleep VERY deeply, it takes like 5 alarmclocks to wake me up, and even then.. i wake up after 30 minutes. I hate it.
 
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“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Dueyunit

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lol drugs make it even worse. dude it wot hapens if u realy liked sum 1 and u get ur heart broken But uve been stressen 4 a year far u must hav had sumthng going on 4 her. hav u read the dj bible ul find sum ansers in there :up:
 

rapsta

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Originally posted by JC Jerkson
Excel in your hobbies, get some friends, and workout EVERYDAY.


JC
Doesn't help man. I cant even trust me closest friends, I dunno why.. I'm paranoid man.

Plus.. the more I think of it, the worse it gets. And I CAN'T stop thinking about it :/
 

rapsta

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Originally posted by Dueyunit
wot hapened between u 2 was it lyk a rely bad brake up or sumfin
Yeah it was real bad. I was LOST in my infatuation/love. And I never saw it coming.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Keeper

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As JC Jerky said, occupy your mind with other goals such as time managment, physical fitness and a comfortable social enviroment.

And as for the sleep thing, it's your lack of energy. A state such as yours can sap anybodies energy flat. This may sound weird, but you need energy to get up briskly every morning. Your self destructive mind is at work even while you sleep.

Change your beliefs, get some motivation. Work on yourself, improve yourself. Do anything just to get your mind off the negative, and onto the positive. ALl other desired effects will follow in suit. :)
 

rapsta

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Originally posted by Keeper
As JC Jerky said, occupy your mind with other goals such as time managment, physical fitness and a comfortable social enviroment.

And as for the sleep thing, it's your lack of energy. A state such as yours can sap anybodies energy flat. This may sound weird, but you need energy to get up briskly every morning. Your self destructive mind is at work even while you sleep.

Change your beliefs, get some motivation. Work on yourself, improve yourself. Do anything just to get your mind off the negative, and onto the positive. ALl other desired effects will follow in suit. :)
I've tried all this but I guess I haven't tried hard enough. Don't you guys think I need NLP treatment or anything?
 

Dueyunit

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lmao no way just try luking 4 any thing to put ur mynd off thnkin bout it and get to sleep erly
 

rapsta

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Originally posted by Dueyunit
lmao no way just try luking 4 any thing to put ur mynd off thnkin bout it and get to sleep erly
Dude, it doesn't matter when I get to sleep, I'm always lacking energy.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Dueyunit

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Originally posted by rapsta
Dude, it doesn't matter when I get to sleep, I'm always lacking energy.
hav u tryd sleepn pils it getn a bit 2 far but if it helpz it myt b beta 4 u :up:
 

rapsta

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Originally posted by Dueyunit
hav u tryd sleepn pils it getn a bit 2 far but if it helpz it myt b beta 4 u :up:
Dude I really appreciate you trying to help me, but it would be alot easier if you read my thread first.
I don't have problems going to bed, I have problems getting out of bed.
 

Keeper

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Originally posted by rapsta
I've tried all this but I guess I haven't tried hard enough. Don't you guys think I need NLP treatment or anything?
Nah, you need something quicker, something more natural.

If you're up for a ten day challenge, here's what I want you to do:

* Set a goal to improve your mood and energy. Write on your monitor: Over the next 10 days, I will double my energy so everyday I wake up on time - and I will work on my mood so I don't feel down.

* Go on a 10 day nutrition programme. Go all natural. Your body is made up of what, 95% water? There's your queue. 95% of your daily food MUST be water based. Fruits, veggies, sprouts, water and juices. Nothing else.

* What is water? H2O... There you go, your other queue. Oxygen is very good for you, it clears your lymph, which in turn multiplies your energy. Your cells need to get rid of excess waste. So here's the breathing plan. 3 times a day, do this: 10 deep breaths. But time them. For every second you breathe in through your nose, hold for 4 times that, and release for 2 times the intake value. So if you inhale for 4 seconds (Make it slow so it counts)... hold for 16, and release over 8. There you go. Do that for 10 days and I GUARANTEE you your energy levels will sky rocket.

* Mental reframing: the conscious mind can hold only 1 thought at a time. And whatever the consious mind holds for an extended period of time, the subconsios goes to work to bring it into your reality. It's a proven fact. So whenever you get a negative though, replace it with a positive affirmation like: I Like myself! I like myself! I like myself. OR whatever you feel you want to hear. (Make sure it's not a negative affirmation. Never say: I am NOT paraniod. Your subconsious must think in positive. Rather say: I am audacious.)

* Returning to oxygen: work out... do aerobics especially. Why? Look at it this way: AIRobics. Exercise with air, build your resipiratory system.

After you put your body and mind through these processes, you will unconsciously fix most of your energy and paranioa problems. :) Just try it... it's very simple, and it helps.
 

Dueyunit

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I no u hav less energy so mayb if u had more sleep u culd get more but it seems lyk keepers got it sorted listen to him it luks lyk he no's wot hes on about
 

Keeper

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Originally posted by Dueyunit
I no u hav less energy so mayb if u had more sleep u culd get more

On the note of sleeping: take naps, and cut your nightly sleep by an hour or two. Take a mid day nap for 20-30 mins. That also works on refreshing your mind.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Keeper

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So it's been a while, mate. Anything improved yet? :)
 

JackPrescott

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Originally posted by rapsta
Man I got serious issues. Ever since my girl broke up with me, about a year ago, I've been in a more or less self-destructive state of mind.

- I can't initiate eye-contact with people, it makes me dizzy because of the anxiety and heart rate raise, and it makes me look away.

- I'm all paranoid when I start liking a girl. Like.. who is calling her now? why hasn't she called yet? is she playing games with me? does she love me? will she cheat on me?
Those are things that i speak to my mind.

- I never feel really good about myself, I'm always faking it. I can't even enjoy anything anymore. Everything is fake. Everything seems unreal. I'm always tired. Everything I used to find joy in, I simpy don't anymore.
It's like being a zombie. Like being a walking dead.

Seriously I need help, does anyone got any advice for me? It would be highly appreciated!
I don't want to rely on any drugs or pills though.

EDIT: also, when I sleep, I have troubles waking up. I sleep VERY deeply, it takes like 5 alarmclocks to wake me up, and even then.. i wake up after 30 minutes. I hate it.
You sound like you are clinically depressed. You need to speak to a psychotherapist, and talk your problems out. It's not uncommon, when you lose at love. It's not pretty, and can be emotionally devastating. But I have found that you do get over it.

1. Start exercizing. It is not only great for your body, but is a form of therapy. If you have anger, take it out on the treadmill, the sit up rack, or the preacher bench. It doesnt hurt your chances of meeting women either, if you have a hard body.

2. Keep good friends around you. No, they are no substitute for your beloved, but they offer support and companionship which is important.

3. Get involved in other hobbies, and try some "self help" books, they make good reading, and dont hurt, as far as improving yourself.

4. When you feel ready, get back into the dating scene. Yes, I know, that is the last thing on your mind. But remember, "living well is the best revenge" If your former beloved were to see you, being intimate with a hottie, and you are looking smokin' yourself, well, just think......
 
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