help me with this ********!

[sexy_kuta]

i seriously am lost at the moment. 6 months ago i was rebounded by a girl who developed baggage because her ex cheated on her 5 times during a year and half relationship.. so i tried working it. giving her space. blah blah doing the nesscery things.. but she just kept giving me mixed singals. over the 6 months it was just a repeat. over and over. i'd cut her off and she would come back for some ****.. she just wanted me ARound. it doesnt make sens.e she never wanted rides or mym oney.. hardly my attention. she could call me a few times. 2 a week.. makes no sense.. like maybe i was the only guy good to her cuz i treated her well. and i was a real man to her. i never fuked up. so that the only reason i could see but. i dont wanna do thisi sh1t again. and the thing is. evverytime i cut her off. she would come back. first time it was juST a month.. like a month and 3 days.. then next time it was like 3 weeks.. then 3 weeks again. .NOw it has been just a month extact. LAST TIME i clearly stated her that i dont wanna be friends. heres the conver.

.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
me: hey
her: wusgoood
me: just woke up
me: u
me: you got time to talk?
me: iimma phone u tonight. we gotta talk
me: bye
her: sameee shyyyt
[12:her: i slept in :S
her: lol
her: yo
her: i got ur email...
her: honetsly man ur a sweeet guy wit a awesome
personality....n whoevr u'll meet n da future will be
extremely lucky
her : buh..i jus dun wana b wit sum1 rite now..i
got soo much b/s goin on wit school n workin...
her: we're still goood friends tho like if u
ever need nething jus holllaa dun hezitate
me: k
me: thats cool
me: thats all i need to know
mei cant be friend right now.. its not that i
hate u or im mad at u. or that i have something against
u.. its me. i cant control my emotions..
me: i had fun. and i learned alot from you..
your a good girl..
me: and the way i see it, at least i tried
loving you and failed.. rather than not love you at
all.. and im greatful for that
me: but its best for us to go our own seperate
ways.. maybe in the furture, a few years from now we
might bump into each other in university then thats cool
but for now i cant be friends.
me: good bye

So the i clearly stated I dont wanna be friends. AT lease for a while

so i was moving on. not a singal contact. no msn. no number..

on the 15th, extacly one month from that conver, she texted me "whats up"
i got pissed of.. im thinking wtf does she want. so i didnt text back. 3 days later it eas eating me.. so i texted her


me: is there something u wanna talk about? whats the meaning of that text?

her: huh?

Me: you texted me

her: yeam hyst sayin whats up, why are you givin me attitude?

me: girl it has been over a month since we talk, so u texted me sayin whats uP? texting is for friends who are bored so they text each other because they dont wanna waste thier day time mins.. this shows what im really mean to you.

her:what do u mean? im just sain wud up but if yuo wanna give me attitude
then beat it.

me: be honest for a second. what do you want from me? im not here to fight or aruge with u, what do u really want from me. everytime i try to move away your always pulling me back for something

her: hollay im just sayin whats up like a friend, i aint pullin u back or holdin u back from nothing.

me:well i told u cant be your friend, i tried going that route but you're always giving me mixed singals.

her:what utalkin about? w/e faak it.

me: your right, fuk it. i'll just change my number to make it easier for both of us. thought you would get the message by me moving on

Her:yo, your gettin it twisted. im not stoppin you from nothing.

END OF COnver.. like. maybe i was too rough in that conver but IM tryin to move away. im tryin to walk away. so i tried giving her the cold shoulders. and if i dont say anyhting it will eat me inside. i want her to know whats on my mind.

first time icut her off.. she hadded me to her NEw msn, second time.. i deleted her off my msn list. but i didnt block her. and she knew i was mad at her. 3 weeks there.. then again 3 weeks for hte next time.. NOw she knows i blocked her. told her bye and sh1t then she texted me? WTF

explain to me for her actions.

 

[sexy_kuta]

sorry for the spelling mistakes. i was rushing,
im changing my number hopefully today. fuk.
who knew i'd be changing my number cuz of ONE ex?

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Wow man, you're a fvcking drama queen.


you go on these big monologues about how you two can't be together, and how she's holding you back etc... etc... and these speeches are unprovoked by her.

I think you're the one with baggage. you're trying to play some ganji games with a girl, and doing it very obviously. From what i can tell, she's just sayin hi. and you turn around and freak out because she's being personable.

no, you are not being a man with her. you're acting rediculously childish.

Here's how the first convo should have gone:

me: hey
her: wusgoood
me: just woke up
me: u
me: you got time to talk?
me: iimma phone u tonight. we gotta talk
me: bye
her: sameee shyyyt
[12:her: i slept in :S
her: lol
her: yo
her: i got ur email...
her: honetsly man ur a sweeet guy wit a awesome
personality....n whoevr u'll meet n da future will be
extremely lucky
her : buh..i jus dun wana b wit sum1 rite now..i
got soo much b/s goin on wit school n workin...
her: we're still goood friends tho like if u
ever need nething jus holllaa dun hezitate
me: k
me: thats cool

Cya later

but no, instead you go on this big drawn out puzzified long winded monologue... and the girls probably cracking up laughing at your emotional outbursts.

I especially loved the part about how you mention you can't even talk to her because you can't control your emotions. WOW..... You might wanna go and visit the doctor and tell him to test your Testosterone levels. There's a chance you d!ck will fall off any day now, and you might wanna consider picking up a training bra for when your new budding bossoms start flilling in.

gross.

 

[Scorched]

Ignore her man, she is wasting your time,
I stopped talking to girls that come with too much baggage...

I hate people who live their lives in cycles...

 

[sexy_kuta]

Wow man, you're a fvcking drama queen.


you go on these big monologues about how you two can't be together, and how she's holding you back etc... etc... and these speeches are unprovoked by her.

I think you're the one with baggage. you're trying to play some ganji games with a girl, and doing it very obviously. From what i can tell, she's just sayin hi. and you turn around and freak out because she's being personable.

no, you are not being a man with her. you're acting rediculously childish.

Here's how the first convo should have gone:

me: hey
her: wusgoood
me: just woke up
me: u
me: you got time to talk?
me: iimma phone u tonight. we gotta talk
me: bye
her: sameee shyyyt
[12:her: i slept in :S
her: lol
her: yo
her: i got ur email...
her: honetsly man ur a sweeet guy wit a awesome
personality....n whoevr u'll meet n da future will be
extremely lucky
her : buh..i jus dun wana b wit sum1 rite now..i
got soo much b/s goin on wit school n workin...
her: we're still goood friends tho like if u
ever need nething jus holllaa dun hezitate
me: k
me: thats cool

Cya later

but no, instead you go on this big drawn out puzzified long winded monologue... and the girls probably cracking up laughing at your emotional outbursts.

I especially loved the part about how you mention you can't even talk to her because you can't control your emotions. WOW..... You might wanna go and visit the doctor and tell him to test your Testosterone levels. There's a chance you d!ck will fall off any day now, and you might wanna consider picking up a training bra for when your new budding bossoms start flilling in.

gross.

k well have you been rebounded? do u know what we did together?

at least im being honest.. i do have emotion problems with girls. and i like SPEaking my mind. if i hold something i get pissed off.. why cant i let her know how i feel? i asnt like htis in the beginning HELL no, i was secure. but maybe i do have baggage. i wont deny that, she did me good man.


what do u expect me to do with all these mixed singals? i try to be simple friends wit her but shes giving me stupid singals..
she phoned me 8 in the morning a few times.. just to wake me up. we used to do that in our relationship.
then what else would u do if she disrespected u mutiliple times and your tryin to move on but she wont let u? she comes back for somehting?

WHAT do u want me to do? just help me, why is she commin back inthe first place?

 

[Lost1]

Wow man, you're a fvcking drama queen.


you go on these big monologues about how you two can't be together, and how she's holding you back etc... etc... and these speeches are unprovoked by her.

I think you're the one with baggage. you're trying to play some ganji games with a girl, and doing it very obviously. From what i can tell, she's just sayin hi. and you turn around and freak out because she's being personable.

no, you are not being a man with her. you're acting rediculously childish.

Here's how the first convo should have gone:

me: hey
her: wusgoood
me: just woke up
me: u
me: you got time to talk?
me: iimma phone u tonight. we gotta talk
me: bye
her: sameee shyyyt
[12:her: i slept in :S
her: lol
her: yo
her: i got ur email...
her: honetsly man ur a sweeet guy wit a awesome
personality....n whoevr u'll meet n da future will be
extremely lucky
her : buh..i jus dun wana b wit sum1 rite now..i
got soo much b/s goin on wit school n workin...
her: we're still goood friends tho like if u
ever need nething jus holllaa dun hezitate
me: k
me: thats cool

Cya later

but no, instead you go on this big drawn out puzzified long winded monologue... and the girls probably cracking up laughing at your emotional outbursts.

I especially loved the part about how you mention you can't even talk to her because you can't control your emotions. WOW..... You might wanna go and visit the doctor and tell him to test your Testosterone levels. There's a chance you d!ck will fall off any day now, and you might wanna consider picking up a training bra for when your new budding bossoms start flilling in.

gross.

I think you're being alil over judgemental of him. He's only trying to move on and the girl is trying to drag it out. I think he's doing a great job honestly, I wish I had his will power. I've been in the same situation actually just recently. I'm way over the girl now so i wouldnt mind being friends.

 

[sexy_kuta]

thanks man but i IWLL admit. i will confess. my weakest point in my game is that i wear my heart on my sleeve. BUT i did develop to hold that,
when we went out. i never told her how muchi liked her.. etc. how much she ment to me.. hell no, instead i showed her. by listening to her. respecting her.
i was true, i did things i never could imagine me doing. but then after the break up and ****, andi fell apart.. i started bringing my feelings out.. tellin her
everytime i cut her off. i'd gain my confidence back. but when she comes back it KILLS ME.. it makes me afc. total one. fuk!

i texted her this morning telling her it was my bad about night. and that i was having a stressful day and i didnt mean to take it out on her. thats all/
she rpelied back, "just dont get ur **** twisted again"

then i left it as that. like i can move on wihtout any contact. visual. phsyical. any sort. but she comes back for something.

i dunno if just a friendship. Or she wants ME to help HER forget about her ex xuz she rebounded me before. i seriously dunno.. all i know is that

she doesnt use my money, rides. or my attention
. she gives me mixed singals
and SHE WONT TELL ME WHATS GOING ON! SHES KEEPING IT TO HERSELF!!!!!!!!!!

like honeslty. for furture rerferences. i would LOVE to control my emotions. that is my goal. i think with her. i can do it. i controled my emotions first two months greatly. like WOW, just wow. we had SOO much fun and ****. it was amazing. best dating experiences of my life. my interest level was ALWAYs belows her. and i had her comming back for more all the time.

******** TRANSLATION WANTED

 

[gherald]

Ignore her...And dont be guilty bout it...

She definitely wants you still i think

 

[sexy_kuta]

Ignore her...And dont be guilty bout it...

She definitely wants you still i think

i know bro!! fuK! but its like, i will ignore her, i will move on. and i have but she pulls me back for something. she wants something out of me. i cant even go more than a month without her reaching me some how. like i blocked and deleted her off msn before. she made a new one.. so next time i did i didnt block her. she contacted me. did that twice.. now i cut off every single contact. she texted me. and everytime i cut her off.. i will slowly gain my confidence. then when she comes abck it KILLS Me. dunno why. i turn into an afc. i need to control that!.
all i could imagine is that hse doesnt trust any guys. thats why she isnt dead set on me. she wants me but shes not dead set on me. it was her first love who cheated on her. and it hit her hard..

so my conclusion is right now. is just play low key. unblock her. let her contact me when she wants but i have to let her know she needs to contact me. meaning when she hollas i'll will still be thje same confident guy she knew before.

then slowly she can open up and let her make her judgment if she wants to be wit me or not. but im not going to wait. i will CONTINUE to go to the gym. CONTINUE with my life working out. working at my job. other sh1t. talkign to girls. pikcing them up.. and i let her see that too.

i guess i'll just be friends but with limits i'd say.

this way i can improve my game. and learn to control my emotions around her. that way in the furture i wont fuk up and sending her love emails. and spilling out.

if i can hold myself for two months. then i can do it

 

[DJDamage]

6 months ago i was rebounded by a girl who developed baggage because her ex cheated on her 5 times during a year and half relationship.. so i tried working it.

That is a big red flag, a chick with high self-esteem wouldn't accept her boyfriend cheating on her 5 times.

but she just kept giving me mixed singals

There is no such thing as mix signals, its that you can't read or understand low interest. When a woman has a high interest in a guy her words matches her actions and therefore there are no misunderstanding.

on the 15th, extacly one month from that conver, she texted me "whats up"
i got pissed of.. im thinking wtf does she want. so i didnt text back. 3 days later it eas eating me.. so i texted her

Women will string you along even after the breakup because in her eyes you are good for something. It may not be fvcking, but since you made her laugh and acted like a big teddy bear you are good for something. This is the part what separates the man from the boys: What you should have done is completly ignore the text message. But instead you took the bait and texted her up (by the way never text message someone you want to have a serious convo with because you need to hear their voice and tell it to them stright up, instead of hiding behind a text message.)

me: is there something u wanna talk about? whats the meaning of that text?

her: huh?

Me: you texted me

her: yeam hyst sayin whats up, why are you givin me attitude?

me: girl it has been over a month since we talk, so u texted me sayin whats uP? texting is for friends who are bored so they text each other because they dont wanna waste thier day time mins.. this shows what im really mean to you.

her:what do u mean? im just sain wud up but if yuo wanna give me attitude
then beat it.

me: be honest for a second. what do you want from me? im not here to fight or aruge with u, what do u really want from me. everytime i try to move away your always pulling me back for something

her: hollay im just sayin whats up like a friend, i aint pullin u back or holdin u back from nothing.

me:well i told u cant be your friend, i tried going that route but you're always giving me mixed singals.

her:what utalkin about? w/e faak it.

me: your right, fuk it. i'll just change my number to make it easier for both of us. thought you would get the message by me moving on

Her:yo, your gettin it twisted. im not stoppin you from nothing.

END OF COnver.. like. maybe i was too rough in that conver but IM tryin to move away. im tryin to walk away. so i tried giving her the cold shoulders. and if i dont say anyhting it will eat me inside. i want her to know whats on my mind.

You know why you are mad? its because you are not over this chick. Every day you are thinking about her and hoping that she will text message you and when you text back she will say " ohhh I missed you and I love you, I am sorry for all the stuff I caused you" - BUT THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!! ITS TIME YOU FACE THAT REALITY.

first time icut her off.. she hadded me to her NEw msn, second time.. i deleted her off my msn list. but i didnt block her. and she knew i was mad at her. 3 weeks there.. then again 3 weeks for hte next time.. NOw she knows i blocked her. told her bye and sh1t then she texted me? WTFexplain to me for her actions.

Again you are playing games like a child. The first day that you don't want to see her again, should be the last day you will see her again. That means all contacts -texting, email, phone, pictures, should be all thrown out and deleted on that day. But you are still stuck in Oneitis land and you don't want to leave.

 

[sexy_kuta]

thank you djdamage. your right in everyword you said. I do hope she texts me I do think about her everyday. im not ogign to deny that. i am still stuck in oneitis.

so WHAt do u suggest that i do?
tell me the correct thing. change my number?

i deleted her number email pics.. everything letters. more than a month ago.

only thing is that she has my pics. and my number thats all

 

[DJDamage]

so my conclusion is right now. is just play low key. unblock her. let her contact me when she wants but i have to let her know she needs to contact me. meaning when she hollas i'll will still be thje same confident guy she knew before.

then slowly she can open up and let her make her judgment if she wants to be wit me or not. but im not going to wait. i will CONTINUE to go to the gym. CONTINUE with my life working out. working at my job. other sh1t. talkign to girls. pikcing them up.. and i let her see that too.

i guess i'll just be friends but with limits i'd say.

This is the worst AFC conclusion I have ever read on sosuave.

 

[sexy_kuta]

This is the worst AFC conclusion I have ever read on sosuave.

man u have NO idea on HOW fuked up i am.

a week ago i wasnt NEarly as afc as i am today. like i said. im fine when i cut her off but when she comes back. IT KILLS ME

im changing my number today

 

[DJDamage]

so WHAt do u suggest that i do?
tell me the correct thing. change my number?

No, just don't pick up the phone when she calls. You can't avoid her just because it doesn't feel comfortable to you.

In life you will run into uncomfortable situations and you need to face them, otherwise you will forever be running scared and never achieve anything worthwhile.

Man up and take it.

 

[sexy_kuta]

No, just don't pick up the phone when she calls. You can't avoid her just because it doesn't feel comfortable to you.

In life you will run into uncomfortable situations and you need to face them, otherwise you will forever be running scared and never achieve anything worthwhile.

Man up and take it.

k thanks man, i apprieate you being straight up an honest. i needed a reailty check.

im going to continue to ignore her. i deleted all those texts 10 min ago.

and your right. i cant runn all the time.

 

[Scorched]

No, just don't pick up the phone when she calls. You can't avoid her just because it doesn't feel comfortable to you.

In life you will run into uncomfortable situations and you need to face them, otherwise you will forever be running scared and never achieve anything worthwhile.

Man up and take it.

If you can actually not pick up the phone, then that would be like the ultimate power trip for you. You'd become so much stronger when it comes to self control and it would be a huge step in not being AFC.

Although if you just change your number, that will help remove her from the back of your mind. So...If you want to get OVER HER... Delete her number, burn her ****, go find a rebound, and stay away from places she might be...

And don't try to be her friend... F*ck that sh*t man. You'll just turn AFC again...

 

[sexy_kuta]

If you can actually not pick up the phone, then that would be like the ultimate power trip for you. You'd become so much stronger when it comes to self control and it would be a huge step in not being AFC.

Although if you just change your number, that will help remove her from the back of your mind. So...If you want to get OVER HER... Delete her number, burn her ****, go find a rebound, and stay away from places she might be...

And don't try to be her friend... F*ck that sh*t man. You'll just turn AFC again...

im not going to change my number. im going gonna man up and take the challenge. it will be hard for me but this is the first step in becoming better, to strengthen my self control and my emotions.

so im fine. like im really fine. i feel as i did 2 weeks ago when i didnt talk to her. i had fun at work. i hardly thought about her. looks like im back in the marathon

 

[El Febreezey Da Beez]

forget her. she was just using you to get over her ex. you got what you really needed in the process. move on. stop posting aim convos

 

[jonwon]

Sexy, djdamage and last man said it all.

Djdamage is your first insight into this sh**.
Last man is the frame you will become eventually.

Right now you’re a glorified wuss bag, no other way to say it, you are really acting like a big girly boy.

Look man take this as fact, this chick is not interested in you! As a relationship, this is going to go no-where.

Those words may hurt, sting or not be easy to read, but it is fact.

You sexy need to be hurt a good few times as it is clear your nice attitude and your so prissy wear your heart on your sleeve attitude is going to screw you over, but you don’t listen, you are not paying attention to the advice posted.

And you wont listen, seen too many guys like you, see the advice posted to them and not even see it, take no notice of it and ignore it or be so swamped in your emotions, you wont allow logic to come into it.

Posting in this thread seems a waste of time.

Move on and learn from this, or I will predict in 100% certainty you will have a history of this stuff, as you become the beacon smuck for all the girls out there that need you for your big heart.

Look man, this girl as proved she does not want a relationship, she could not spell it out any clearer, but you still hang on, like some whipped dog on heat. What are you hanging on for?

I will tell you what your hanging on for, fear!
Your afraid you wont get another girl like this one, but let me tell you this girl is not of quality anyway, as pointed out.
Stop wasting your time! Invest that time in the pursuit of real women that want you.

Maybe your ego is bruised, well big f’ing deal tbh, we all get rejected at some stage, deal with it like a man and not some prissy girly boy in a pink dress and a bow in his hair.

Man the only thing that is evident in this thread is you really need to shape up here or women like this will use you as a wet tampon for along time, or you heading towards a controlling wife/GF.

It’s a good job you found this site, or you probably would not have even rejected her the way you did, even though In time you wont even waste the effort on the prissy shi**. It will be a simply, ok thanks cya later! And that will be it, but your drama mentality is still holding onto the dregs of nice guy dom or should I say smuck with a big heart!

There is two ways to go here, become angry and a guy with out a backbone, be resentful of women, or learn from this and in future invest your time in women that actually want to invest time in YOU!

But you wont learn and sadly this is a waste of time!#

But you need to see your issues in this also.

The reaction you did and are oding to this women are outbursts of a bruised ego, your ego is messing up your emotions and making you behave like a hurt women with a grudge. I find some of your reactions to the women a little hard to read in truth! You are really dramatising the whole issue due to the pain that as been casued due to your high intrest and your feelings, not hers.

It was you that got so deep with this girl, she i expect did not give any signals other then a friend or a male tampon, so if there is anyone to not like in this situation it is YOU!

Since in truth you set this up on yourself, due to your high intrest in a girl who did not want anything but support from a friend.

But it was wise to walk away as it is clear you cant be friends as your emotions are too much for this situations, you should have seen that at the start and not invested so much attention to the what if's.

One of the reasons why esculations is key and to not fall in what if land, and wonder how she feels and become a resentful smuck with his heart on his sleave.

you got exactly what you put in here.

you will learn the hard way, this is why i said you need to be hurt a good few times yet, so you see a different way. That way is the fact the things you do are not in YOUR best intrests.

 

[Zerotwoonenine]

man you got a complicated situation here.
Now i am a good DJ and a A student, so u beter listen to my analysis.
First of all i think she liked you when u first knew her, but you didnt let your intentions get know too early or u just entered at the wrong time and she liked u but afraid of getting hurt again, either way u r in the friend zone, by the looks of it you have no way to getting out of it.
Now its good that you tried to move on and stuff, but she wants you as a friend, u have no chance of getting her, so just keep doing what you are doing,
Block her msn, phone number, etc, everything, otherwise she will keep screwing with your head.
If all else fails, get a restraining order on her, tell the cops that shes harrasing u-i know its hard but if thats the only way then do it-but warn her first.