"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Help me wingman for my deaf coworker

IronDJ

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I have a coworker who's 24 and deaf. He's a slender guy who has Indian ancestry. He probably wouldn't have trouble normally finding girls, but with the huge communication barrier of him being deaf combined with girls wanting to do nothing but talk, he's never really had a dating relationship. When I say never really had a dating relationship, I mean that he's never consistently dated a girl or slept with one.

I've learned how to sign at a level that I can converse with him, and doing so has helped him learn how to read lips some. I've told him that learning this is going to be critical.

So he wants me to take him out sometime when I go out. What I'm struggling with is finding out how to cold approach a girl and not scare her off when she finds out he's deaf.

One time some coworkers, including this guy that we'll call "Z", went to out to grab dinner, and I managed to get him to flirt with the waitress some. She noticed me signing to him, and when we were ordering drinks, she asked me how to ask for his ID, so I had Z teach her how. Later I asked if she wanted to learn how to sign her name and had Z teach her that.

This seemed to work, and Z was actually communicating with a girl. I wonder if a method like this would work for meeting girls in general for him. One issue that I worry about is that I'll end up inadvertently ****blocking him, as the girl would be more inclined to talk to me, because it's easier.

I understand that this is a challenge, but I've got to help this guy out. What say you, DJ's?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Bible_Belt

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Everyone's deaf in a club with loud music. Also, if a girl didn't speak English well, she would tend to share a lot of non-verbal communication cues with him.

All the deaf people I've known have been cliquish, to the point of being rude to people outside their group. It's a self-protective mechanism, because they are scared to try to interact with hearing people like your friend is doing. Good for him that he is trying.
 

Gray The Prince

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The dynamics between you and your coworker have some serious potential. If this is used correctly, this could be a deadly combo when it comes to slaying poon.
 

Ronaldo7

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Introduce him to a mute girl. Normal-working people ain't got time for the mute that wanted to talk but couldn't. A mute girl has his same circumstances. 1 + 1 = 2
 

Sik

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I agree with Gray The Prince, this has some serious potential.

Having something different and interesting to bring up always helps with cold approaches. Just recently I went and had drinks with a cousin of mine; he was in a bad car accident and basically came back from the dead. He has a gnarly scar on his scalp so whenever I mention it, girls will ask what happened and he'll launch into a pretty thrilling story.

From there it's a whole lot easier to buy them drinks, talk about how awesome we are and then go back to my place. Doesn't always work, but it's better than "Hello."

I suggest really impressing upon your deaf friend to learn to read lips. His deafness, while an obstacle, also makes him unique. It's not often a girl meets a young, slim deaf guy who can teach her how to use sign language. If he's charming and smiles a lot, I think he can pull broads with no problem. Also tell him to hit the gym and read this site.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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IronDJ

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Sik said:
I agree with Gray The Prince, this has some serious potential.

Having something different and interesting to bring up always helps with cold approaches. Just recently I went and had drinks with a cousin of mine; he was in a bad car accident and basically came back from the dead. He has a gnarly scar on his scalp so whenever I mention it, girls will ask what happened and he'll launch into a pretty thrilling story.

From there it's a whole lot easier to buy them drinks, talk about how awesome we are and then go back to my place. Doesn't always work, but it's better than "Hello."

I suggest really impressing upon your deaf friend to learn to read lips. His deafness, while an obstacle, also makes him unique. It's not often a girl meets a young, slim deaf guy who can teach her how to use sign language. If he's charming and smiles a lot, I think he can pull broads with no problem. Also tell him to hit the gym and read this site.
I agree that the potential is there. I think if we can find a pair or larger group of girls, then he brings something that really makes him (and thusly me) stand out.

What I need is to make sure my method listed in my OP is a solid way of getting him going. I'm willing to listen to other ideas as well.
 
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