"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

help me tweak my online profile

poohead

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2006
Messages
254
Reaction score
1
Location
Chicago, IL
ok, help me with this online profile. it is straight out of DYD 'bad boy' description. i like it. it's different, and it's not afc in the least.

i have been getting a lot more responses to this one, compared to my old afc-style profile which was really generic ('i like reading and sports, etc.'). the problem is: the people who message me or respond to me are of two types:

1. people who like my writing and want to compliment me on it/or find out what kind of guy writes something like this.

2. people who i message that respond to me - *then* read my profile closely - and decide i am a conceited, ****y guy. then they get flakey on me, whereas before they were into me.

people either: don't take me seriously, or they take me too seriously - as in, i am completely serious in my profile - and they think i'm actually that guy. the profile is supposed to be at least partly funny.


this profile is cool but it has to go. at the same time i don't want to put up another generic profile.


Interests
Money Power Respect
About Me
I am a bad boy and an adventurer. I live for danger. I enjoy pushing myself in the pursuit of excellence in all my endeavors. I am prone to exploratory excitability, impulsiveness, and disorderliness. I am a novelty seeker, my motto is live fast die pretty. I enjoy forming deep connections with interesting people who will teach me new things about myself.

I believe that I'm destined for great things. I am goal oriented and ambitious. I own my own home, am a member of Mensa, have a master's degree, a good job, play several instruments, am an avid reader, and I also know many obscure and interesting facts about pop culture.

I am a rebel without a cause, a cool dude in a motorcycle jacket, a real life Huckleberry Finn, a wounded, moody, dreamer. A seducer, a daredevil. A man of mystery and a fascinating paradox. I'm both a lost little boy and a man with a dark side. I can break your heart with my wicked ways, and also make you long to rescue me from my pain. I may be hurtfully cruel, sometimes careless or self absorbed, you still can't resist the urge to give me your heart - at which point i will be gone with the wind.

If you have major baggage, are sexually repressed or have issues with men please don't contact me. Unless you happen to be Jennifer, in which case you owe me 500 dollars.

First Date

Video games or bowling. Maybe a root beer float at A&W.

Parking in the forest preserve and listening to Led Zeppelin in the backseat while we make out and drink beers. Sneaking you home way past your cufew.

A lot of kissing and some dramatic talk about how nobody understands us, and how someday we'll leave this town and never look back again.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

JC9

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 25, 2006
Messages
144
Reaction score
1
You're profile needs to be somewhat of a respresentation of you and your mindset, otherwise you will simply not be congruent in your emails or when you meet them in person the first time.

For example, if you have the badboy profile then message a girl with:

"Hey Sweetie! you're too cute, I just want to cuddle with you all night long, get back to me k?"

it's not going to work very well.

Here is my recommendation for a structure for a profile:

Spark Interest
Demonstrate value through your more interesting activities
Qualify your audience in a way they can see themselves fitting in
Show you have high standards by disqualifying something/someone

Fill out the profile with your individual personality but with that framework.

Example's:

Spark Interest - This should be something that creates an emotional buy in from the girl, use any truism you want that generates an emotional response. Eg "You feel, sometimes, like something might be missing?"

Demonstrate value through your more interesting activities - You mention music in your profile so talk about how much fun it is to sit and jam, or how cool it was to play with x,y,z band at the spring faire. Eg "Im big into music, and love to play lots of various instruments. Nothing better than the feeling of sitting outside, jamming with my friends, and creating a catchy tune."

Qualify your audience in a way they can see themselves fitting in - Now that you have interest and value you need to get them to jump through a hoop, at least in their mind, to be worth you. This is done by writing out your wants in such a way that a girl can convince herself that she has them. Eg "I am looking for a girl that has a lot of energy, would consider herself knowledgable about the world, that loves to have a good time and can be as compassionate as she is adventurous"

Show you have high standards by disqualifying something/someone - This is something that just infers standards, and that you are a more of a catch because you are excluding whole groups of people. Eg "No single mothers, or divorcees please."

Additional note. You do not generate any attraction through online, simply interest. Interest w/out attraction wanes quickly, so meet in person ASAP with girls you do connect with.
 

WhAcKeD!

Don Juan
Joined
May 24, 2003
Messages
187
Reaction score
3
Age
39
Your profile makes you sound like a robot, put some character into it. By the way, you should be sarging in real life, not on teh interweb.
 

poohead

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2006
Messages
254
Reaction score
1
Location
Chicago, IL
if i sound like a robot - imagine all of these other generic afc's with 'i like reading and sports' in their profiles.

i'm in week 3 of a boot camp right now. sarge on.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Sounds like you are pumping yourself up, the ad is contrite because it sounds cliché. You talk a big game but you give no real life examples to back it up. Pictures of you doing these adventurous things would help your ad not read like complete fiction.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

poohead

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2006
Messages
254
Reaction score
1
Location
Chicago, IL
you don't have to be jumping out of airplanes to be that guy. you could just be a bad man who lives life on his terms. why should i post pictures of me snowboarding or something? as if that proves anything.
 

BuckwildNYC

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 21, 2005
Messages
267
Reaction score
1
Age
51
Location
New York City
Bro you can't say "I am a bad boy" or "I am a rebel" or "I am a challenge"................it doesn't work like that. You can't just say something and expect it to become a reality. The guy above me is right. A couple pictures would say so much more than "I am a badboy". How bout a pic of you riding a Harley.............that says I'm a bad boy w/o having to say it. Or a pic of you mountain climbing...........that says I'm adventurous. Or a pic of you in the Bahamas...............I like to travel. Get it?

Don't say "im this" or "i'm that". Tell stories or make coments that give people HINTS about your character. Talk about your favorite foods or your favorite music group. Give a little story. Be interesting. It shouldn't read like a resume for a job. Put a couple quotes you like......not too many and nothing too cliche that people have read a thousand times. You sound way too cut and dry. You gotta spice your shyt up a little.

O and you need to eliminate ALL negativity. Your frustrations with women come across very strongly in your writing. You might be better off working on YOU for a little while before you jump into the whole dating thing. I read your other post where you asked for advice on how to neg girls who ignore your messages. See, that's more negativity. Stop blaming them and work on you.
 

mrRuckus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
4,382
Reaction score
85
i think what you are missing is a shirtless picture.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Socialreject

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 9, 2005
Messages
409
Reaction score
4
Ok, i'm not here to give 'advice' cause i'm 'experimenting' with online dating right now myself and it hasn't been very smooth sailing... So by this disclaimer i dub this an opinion ;-)

The profile, to me seems like it's trying way to hard, seems like you are boasting in every line and basically saying "stay away from me"...

The way i see it, you don't say you're a catch, you just ARE and behave that way (and you do if you ARE), but yeah, how the hell DOES one put this in a profile? You can't 'behave' in a profiel cause it's all talk and writing.

And true enough, if you make it less agressive, more timid, it becomes generic and it seems to me that the last thing you want online is a generic profile cause chicks are getting countless msgs from guys with generic profiles every day, so if you do get some reaction it's 'luck'... and that just sucks.
 

poohead

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2006
Messages
254
Reaction score
1
Location
Chicago, IL
Socialreject said:
Ok, i'm not here to give 'advice' cause i'm 'experimenting' with online dating right now myself and it hasn't been very smooth sailing... So by this disclaimer i dub this an opinion ;-)

The profile, to me seems like it's trying way to hard, seems like you are boasting in every line and basically saying "stay away from me"...

The way i see it, you don't say you're a catch, you just ARE and behave that way (and you do if you ARE), but yeah, how the hell DOES one put this in a profile? You can't 'behave' in a profiel cause it's all talk and writing.

And true enough, if you make it less agressive, more timid, it becomes generic and it seems to me that the last thing you want online is a generic profile cause chicks are getting countless msgs from guys with generic profiles every day, so if you do get some reaction it's 'luck'... and that just sucks.

i'm just going to keep the and *become* this guy. i feel like i am almost this guy at times anyways. and this way, if they really don't like it, then they can p*** off because it's me.
 
Top